Inspired by this, whose next review will be full of phrases like "Her beef curtains glistened and opened like a flower to receive his engorged, veiny broadsword, she gasped as he entered, flushed with immediate orgasm as he thrust deeper. They sweated profusely in myriad positions until she gushed like a fountain from her now gaping lady hole and he emptied his sack of man gloop in thick spurts over her pendulous breasts, open mouth and swollen tongue, depositing the final squirt into her left eye, like a champion." Anyone?