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Shemales

Author Topic: I'm going to puke  (Read 6071 times)

Offline hendrix

 :vomit: :vomit: :vomit:

This is a new level of fluffy. Doubt if he'd last a day on UKP :D

 External Link/Members Only

Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
Fuck me Hendrix, maybe Barbara Cartland didn't die after all!

Offline hendrix

As far as I can tell, he got one blow job on an overnight and is ecstatic about it, because she only agreed to "cuddle" :lol: :lol:

Offline Horizontal pleasures

the review took longer to write than the actual punting?

Offline Happyjose


willmo1

  • Guest

Online Jumping Jack Flash

Has anyone actually read that review? It's far to long and I got bored.

You have to question the authenticity of such a review when the WG herself seems to write essays for the most inane sections of her profile.

DoberManic

  • Guest
In the words of Clarence Boddicker:  "What is this Shiiiiiit!"   :vomit:  :sarcastic:

External Link/Members Only

 :hi:

James999

  • Guest
She probably wrote it herself, it has the same long drawn out boring endless waffle style that she uses on her profile  :wacko:

Offline Roth

She probably wrote it herself, it has the same long drawn out boring endless waffle style that she uses on her profile  :wacko:

+1  :thumbsup: Very true - same crap in her blogs.  :vomit:

Anyway not even a lurved-up, cunt-struck fluffy twat could write all that guff.  :scare: Except of course her BF. Well he's got to do something to keep himself occupied when she's swallowing half of Weston's man-fat.  :wackogirl: :kissgirl: :wackogirl:

Offline hendrix

She probably wrote it herself, it has the same long drawn out boring endless waffle style that she uses on her profile  :wacko:

It's a shame as she actually looks quite fit in some of her pictures. That's the only reason I even looked at the FR as I had her hot-listed. All that "Rules of Engagment" toss is  :wackogirl: :wackogirl: :wackogirl:

Midlane

  • Guest

ClarkeOfTheCourse

  • Guest
Shame, because talk of husbands and boyfriends in AW profiles is normally a massive turn on for me :lol:

Offline bossdrum

She probably wrote it herself, it has the same long drawn out boring endless waffle style that she uses on her profile  :wacko:


I think that it is his usual uber-fluffy writing style based on his previous FR's   :wacko:

willbred

  • Guest
:vomit: :vomit: :vomit:

This is a new level of fluffy. Doubt if he'd last a day on UKP :D

 External Link/Members Only

OMFG  :vomit: What a waste of time ( posting and reading)

cockneybstrd

  • Guest
geezer took her to nando's as well as it was

'it was all part of our purposely planned low key approach to our evening together'

pops into the supermarket

'On the way, we passed a Sainsbury Local, so I decided on an impromptu detour inside, dragging a surprised Samantha along with me.'
watch a bit of high brow tele

'She picked up the remote control and flicked the channel across to ITV2 .'

gets a takeaway in

It was soon after that I received a text on my phone ..... picking it up, I read it, it was the pizza delivery I had ordered while Samantha was in the shower'

this geezer sounds a right fat cunt lots of eating no podging


Offline Ramone78

I lost the will to live midway through

Offline hendrix

geezer took her to nando's as well as it was

'it was all part of our purposely planned low key approach to our evening together'

pops into the supermarket

'On the way, we passed a Sainsbury Local, so I decided on an impromptu detour inside, dragging a surprised Samantha along with me.'
watch a bit of high brow tele

'She picked up the remote control and flicked the channel across to ITV2 .'

gets a takeaway in

It was soon after that I received a text on my phone ..... picking it up, I read it, it was the pizza delivery I had ordered while Samantha was in the shower'

this geezer sounds a right fat cunt lots of eating no podging

How long before he's crying outside Nando's (still the best story on UKP for me) waiting for Samantha to get him some extra sauce :D

MrXYZ987

  • Guest
Fuck me, if I'd wanted War & Peace i'd have gone to Waterstones. What a boring barstard

Clarkey

  • Guest
I'd wager a punts money that is written by her profile/blog writer. Same grammatical style etc. How sad.  :thumbsdown:

willbred

  • Guest
Guys, I just had to ROFTT. This twat waxes lyrical over every fuckin bird he sees. Same style, same shit. I couldn't help myself, I just HAD to look. I'm going down the cellar for some beers, I fuckin need one, now

Offline hendrix

Guys, I just had to ROFTT. This twat waxes lyrical over every fuckin bird he sees. Same style, same shit. I couldn't help myself, I just HAD to look. I'm going down the cellar for some beers, I fuckin need one, now


I think that it is his usual uber-fluffy writing style based on his previous FR's   :wacko:

I just read one of his other ones as I was feeling like punching my own dick and thought this would be less painful.

Not the case.

Offline punk

Didn't read his shite but the prossie has a nice bod with great tits.

Rip off though.

yumyum3

  • Guest
What a dull cunt. "She doesn't suffer fools gladly" Oh the irony   :wacko:

rumbler

  • Guest
What a dull cunt. "She doesn't suffer fools gladly" Oh the irony   :wacko:

Nope, she parts them easily from their money!

Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
Inspired by this, whose next review will be full of phrases like "Her beef curtains glistened and opened like a flower to receive his engorged, veiny broadsword, she gasped as he entered, flushed with immediate orgasm as he thrust deeper. They sweated profusely in myriad positions until she gushed like a fountain from her now gaping lady hole and he emptied his sack of man gloop in thick spurts over her pendulous breasts, open mouth and swollen tongue, depositing the final squirt into her left eye, like a champion." Anyone?

Offline Bigus Dickus

Got comatose after the first 3 paragraphs and gave up!

What a dull cunt!

 :unknown:

Offline threechilliman

:vomit: :vomit: :vomit:

This is a new level of fluffy. Doubt if he'd last a day on UKP :D

 External Link/Members Only

I hope it wasn't the 'hot chilli sauce' that nearly made you puke. Stopped reading it fairly quickly - can anyone provide a brief summary?

tcm

Clarkey

  • Guest
Take it back, he did write it, didn't see and thankfully haven't read his other twaddle. I hope dudes like him never have our national security in their hands. Can you imagine the pillow talk whilst watching Love actually in his PJ's... " we swapped intimate details" like only old friends could.

Wake up man she's just screwed you for several hundred pounds, a nando, some olives and a bar of Galaxy, whilst she talked shoite and watched TV, and you're ecstatic over a BJ you sad muppet. :dash:

Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
In summary the daft cunt had an overnight, only got an [unexpected] blowjob and was delighted

Type_O_Negative

  • Guest

Offline Steely Dan

It is like reality TV, boys.  It is pure fiction. This didn't happen.  Nothing to see here move along.

jenner

  • Guest
All of this wanker's field reports are the same bollocks !

Online MintRoyale

Didn't read through the review completely, went to check out her profile after I got bored. Looks like her pics are from British soft porn site, girlfolio.

Maybe she's one of the models, or maybe they're nicked?

DogFace36

  • Guest
tl;dr

  Belongs in the 'Fiction' section.

Offline threechilliman

In summary the daft cunt had an overnight, only got an [unexpected] blowjob and was delighted

Cheers for that - you've saved me some time.

tcm

Offline Nagilum

I had to champion through that review, it was painful. 

Bravo WSB/Samantha you truly played your role well.  The rules of engagement, allowed only oral... Some would say a master "stroke"  :D



Offline Badvicar

Interesting satire of fluffyness.


Grumbleguts

  • Guest
Inspired by this, whose next review will be full of phrases like "Her beef curtains glistened and opened like a flower to receive his engorged, veiny broadsword, she gasped as he entered, flushed with immediate orgasm as he thrust deeper. They sweated profusely in myriad positions until she gushed like a fountain from her now gaping lady hole and he emptied his sack of man gloop in thick spurts over her pendulous breasts, open mouth and swollen tongue, depositing the final squirt into her left eye, like a champion." Anyone?

Jackie Collins isnt dead :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :hi:

Offline G.man

Couldn't be arsed to read most of it, seems he didn't get what I enjoy from a punt and that's dumping my load and leaving.

Hope he got paid for that amount of words though.

Boy

  • Guest
Quote
causing me to catch my breath as we continued to kiss ardently

I can see the FAQ section on the profile now :

Q : Pray tell, do you kiss ardently my dearest?
A : NO, NO, NO and don't offend me by asking as you WILL be blocked. I value my health, and YOU SHOULD TOO!

Field reports like that have me in hysterics more often than not, the 'ardent' attempt by the writer to portray themselves as some kind of predatory but ever so sophisticated Gentleman, sugar coating payed sex encounter into some kind of sophisticated elegant novel when really it is about Spunk and Pussy.

Offline cat1144

 :scare: the bloke has written a soppy novel on this punt !  :sarcastic:

milfwklover

  • Guest
Has anyone actually read that review? It's far to long and I got bored.

You have to question the authenticity of such a review when the WG herself seems to write essays for the most inane sections of her profile.
I managed to get to halfway but quit before I lost the will to live.

I'm a pretty sad git but he make me looks like Captain Charisma.

Offline Nagilum

Yep, this is what happens when punting becomes dating.

Offline Poopster

Given that the hoor has an absolutely massive "erotica" library for sale and that a huge portion of her AW feedback is field reports written in the same overblown style, I call bullshit to the whole fucking lot.

Offline Jerboa

Well that's a half hour of my life I'm not getting back! What a fluffy cunt! So he'd booked her, knowing he wouldn't get any sexual services, that's like hiring a plumber with him laying on your bed eating snacks and watching tv, why would you do it? If she was really his good friend she'd of stayed with him for nothing.

Offline hendrix

Well that's a half hour of my life I'm not getting back! What a fluffy cunt! So he'd booked her, knowing he wouldn't get any sexual services, that's like hiring a plumber with him laying on your bed eating snacks and watching tv, why would you do it? If she was really his good friend she'd of stayed with him for nothing.

That's the key point these major fluffs always seem to conveniently overlook.  :crazy: :crazy:

Randolph69

  • Guest
Yep, this is what happens when punting becomes dating.
...and if she is unreasonable enough to still expect to be paid for the 'date', he becomes a stalker: every WG's worst nightmare 
:scare:

Offline Sonny Crockett

Couldn't be bothered to read it.