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Author Topic: I'm going to puke  (Read 4711 times)

Inspired by this, whose next review will be full of phrases like "Her beef curtains glistened and opened like a flower to receive his engorged, veiny broadsword, she gasped as he entered, flushed with immediate orgasm as he thrust deeper. They sweated profusely in myriad positions until she gushed like a fountain from her now gaping lady hole and he emptied his sack of man gloop in thick spurts over her pendulous breasts, open mouth and swollen tongue, depositing the final squirt into her left eye, like a champion." Anyone?

Got comatose after the first 3 paragraphs and gave up!

What a dull cunt!

 :unknown:

:vomit: :vomit: :vomit:

This is a new level of fluffy. Doubt if he'd last a day on UKP :D

 https://www.adultwork.com/FR?118757

I hope it wasn't the 'hot chilli sauce' that nearly made you puke. Stopped reading it fairly quickly - can anyone provide a brief summary?

tcm


What does UKE mean? UKE is short for www.UKEscorting.com

Offline Clarkey

Take it back, he did write it, didn't see and thankfully haven't read his other twaddle. I hope dudes like him never have our national security in their hands. Can you imagine the pillow talk whilst watching Love actually in his PJ's... " we swapped intimate details" like only old friends could.

Wake up man she's just screwed you for several hundred pounds, a nando, some olives and a bar of Galaxy, whilst she talked shoite and watched TV, and you're ecstatic over a BJ you sad muppet. :dash:

In summary the daft cunt had an overnight, only got an [unexpected] blowjob and was delighted


Offline Steely Dan

It is like reality TV, boys.  It is pure fiction. This didn't happen.  Nothing to see here move along.

Offline jenner

All of this wanker's field reports are the same bollocks !
Banning reason: Multiple accounts (JasonP, jenner)

Offline MintRoyale

Didn't read through the review completely, went to check out her profile after I got bored. Looks like her pics are from British soft porn site, girlfolio.

Maybe she's one of the models, or maybe they're nicked?

tl;dr

  Belongs in the 'Fiction' section.

In summary the daft cunt had an overnight, only got an [unexpected] blowjob and was delighted

Cheers for that - you've saved me some time.

tcm

Offline Nagilum

I had to champion through that review, it was painful. 

Bravo WSB/Samantha you truly played your role well.  The rules of engagement, allowed only oral... Some would say a master "stroke"  :D



Interesting satire of fluffyness.


Offline Grumbleguts

Inspired by this, whose next review will be full of phrases like "Her beef curtains glistened and opened like a flower to receive his engorged, veiny broadsword, she gasped as he entered, flushed with immediate orgasm as he thrust deeper. They sweated profusely in myriad positions until she gushed like a fountain from her now gaping lady hole and he emptied his sack of man gloop in thick spurts over her pendulous breasts, open mouth and swollen tongue, depositing the final squirt into her left eye, like a champion." Anyone?

Jackie Collins isnt dead :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :hi:

Offline G.man

Couldn't be arsed to read most of it, seems he didn't get what I enjoy from a punt and that's dumping my load and leaving.

Hope he got paid for that amount of words though.

Offline Boy

Quote
causing me to catch my breath as we continued to kiss ardently

I can see the FAQ section on the profile now :

Q : Pray tell, do you kiss ardently my dearest?
A : NO, NO, NO and don't offend me by asking as you WILL be blocked. I value my health, and YOU SHOULD TOO!

Field reports like that have me in hysterics more often than not, the 'ardent' attempt by the writer to portray themselves as some kind of predatory but ever so sophisticated Gentleman, sugar coating payed sex encounter into some kind of sophisticated elegant novel when really it is about Spunk and Pussy.

Offline cat1144

 :scare: the bloke has written a soppy novel on this punt !  :sarcastic:

Has anyone actually read that review? It's far to long and I got bored.

You have to question the authenticity of such a review when the WG herself seems to write essays for the most inane sections of her profile.
I managed to get to halfway but quit before I lost the will to live.

I'm a pretty sad git but he make me looks like Captain Charisma.

Offline Nagilum

Yep, this is what happens when punting becomes dating.

Given that the hoor has an absolutely massive "erotica" library for sale and that a huge portion of her AW feedback is field reports written in the same overblown style, I call bullshit to the whole fucking lot.

Offline Jerboa

Well that's a half hour of my life I'm not getting back! What a fluffy cunt! So he'd booked her, knowing he wouldn't get any sexual services, that's like hiring a plumber with him laying on your bed eating snacks and watching tv, why would you do it? If she was really his good friend she'd of stayed with him for nothing.

Offline hendrix

Well that's a half hour of my life I'm not getting back! What a fluffy cunt! So he'd booked her, knowing he wouldn't get any sexual services, that's like hiring a plumber with him laying on your bed eating snacks and watching tv, why would you do it? If she was really his good friend she'd of stayed with him for nothing.

That's the key point these major fluffs always seem to conveniently overlook.  :crazy: :crazy:

Yep, this is what happens when punting becomes dating.
...and if she is unreasonable enough to still expect to be paid for the 'date', he becomes a stalker: every WG's worst nightmare 
:scare:

Offline Sonny Crockett

Couldn't be bothered to read it.
Banning reason: Troll


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