Ok I'm going to throw in a couple of ideas, and try maybe to expand on rockharders points by looking at some actual psychology.
Consider normal civvie relationships, since they are a clue. Think how after a breakup, some people will more qiuickly get over it than others. Think how the stereotypical youngster recommends to 'get over it', usually with a bottle of wine (or getting drunk) and maybe a 'good shag' with someone else. What he or she is basically doing or trying to do, is realign the bonding-feelings sensation by stimulating oxytocin (the feelgood love-n-trust -- fluffy if you like -- bonding hormone) and re-associating those feelings more realistically with a new environment now that the old lover has gone. If a person fails to do this in some way, then the oxytocin fuels memories of the ex-lover and possibly makes the break-up harder. It is about autonomy, switching the body hormones on and off, and it may come easier to some people than others.
A punt is like a very short-term relationship, for one hour or however long the booking lasted. A person may have a great need to feel attached and fail to recognise that the session is 'over' even if that is factually what has happened. I think this is irrespective of whether the prossie becomes a 'regular or not': the real nature of the business transaction means that the actual relationship is temporary, limited to the booking time. Failure to recognise this makes the punter feel more attached, more anxious about his supposed 'partner' (the prossie he has just fucked), and more protective towards her, as if she were a real-life partner. It also maybe suggests why he is less able to think clearly, less in control of himself, or less able to relate to his (fellow) punters: people he has a natural bond of friendship with, even if it is simply one of sharing information. The bonding with fellow punters also is to an extent oxytocin based, whereas the fluffywhiteknight's hormone circuits have prioritised oxytocin release and the feeelings it induces to a realtionship that he cannot truly accept has ended.
Here's a maybe not irrelevant academic study, for those who are interested, just published, which suggests:
"...having a more anxiously attached partner predicted higher relatedness but lower autonomy, whereas having a more avoidantly attached partner predicted lower relatedness but higher autonomy need fulfillment. "
(you can find the abstract if you want at External Link/Members Only, ("An Actor–Partner Interdependence Model of Attachment and Need Fulfillment in Romantic Dyads").Two things suggest themselves to me from all this:
1) Fluffywhiteknights are not always in control of their feelings: this is so almost by definition. So to an extent, it's not their fault.
1a) This doesn't mean that they can't learn to
manage their feelings better or more appropriately.
2) If this is true, simply blaming or hurling abuse at them may seem inappropriate in some ways and it can make them more isolated: but the first priority, especially as the fluffywhiteknight typically refuses to listen, is protecting the integrity of the forum. The 'psychology' of the fluffywhiteknight comes second. Perhaps he will learn (either by encouragement to think about what he's doing or by treating him in a 'mean' fashion -- "carrot or stick"). Being a bit 'abusive' about the prossie, for instance, saying what a fat arse she has, can also help him to get some perspective. Until he learns, he should, if possible, be prevented from posting reviews. Admin does this by banning him (and in exceptional cases, unbanning.)
I'm sure Jim an many others fell asleep halfway through that ... but you did ask!
