Why your Username?

[serialpunter65]

I was born in '65, I love cereals and I love punting, but spelling is not my strong point (my cock is my strong point).

[Iloveoral]

I am not a county fan
there said it

Of course i am......
Please say you are not a red b*stard

Raddy

No matey I certainly am not though I do have a few connections with both clubs 

[Punting Valley]

My name is Brian, I am 21 and I am a bit of a dog

Oh hi Brian, nice to meet you. 
Just saw we have the same profile picture character.

[bash_eer]

Mine is on the meaning of bash is to smash and eer is her

So when I punt I like to think of it as smashing her pussy.

[RedKettle]

No imagination - when signing to UKP I looked up and saw a kettle.  I then glanced around and saw something that was red!!!

Good job I did not look down otherwise I would have been limp dick!

[extraa]

No imagination - when signing to UKP I looked up and saw a kettle.  I then glanced around and saw something that was red!!!

Good job I did not look down otherwise I would have been limp dick!

Ha mine's the same. Saw a packet of Extra chewing gums on my desk. Imaginative. I know.

[One Eyed Snake]

Mine was given to me by Chantelle x bluebells girl & Gfe. Wish she was still about

[Razor Boy]

Cos I'm an Orgasm Addict ! Like we all are I suspect 

[TeaAndCrumpets]

Because I like both of these things

[Stew]

Stew is a random name that's not my own

My AW name is something different although I only ever phone up and send the odd email. Never left feedback on there.

My real name is something different to those 2

[Marmalade]

Stew is a random name that's not my own

My AW name is something different although I only ever phone up and send the odd email. Never left feedback on there.

My real name is something different to those 2

Sensible. Idiots do please take note (unless you are truly bulletproof).

[Captain Fuzzyduck]

From the once popular drinking game...Fuzzyduck, duckyfuzz, fuzzyduck, duckyfuzz, ..........., duzzyfuck? ......fuckyduzz!  etc. etc.
And my puffin avatar reminded me of Captain Beaky, whose nemesis Hissing Sid the snake was innocent.
Hence, Captain Fuzzyduck.

[Owwhatanight]

Named after the well known Frankie Vallie song.." Oh What A Night" as I could not get it out of my head.
I spelt it wrong but left it.

[nike]

Used to be my nickname when I was growing up, not been called that by anyone for over 35 years, so thought it safe to resurrect it. 

[stayer]

Without sounding immodest, I last a long time, quite the opposite of some guys who come quickly. So I thought of "Stayer" as in staying the course until the (lengthy) end. Well, you did ask...

[richie]

I have no idea why nor can I think of a good potential reason either.... Lack of imagination maybe??

[howrude]

I like the cheeky, teasing, carry-on vibe to it.

[leglover123]

I like legs. Women's legs mainly.

[azrael]

My picture should tell the story any way,  i've had 3 serious car wrecks flipped rolled. Walked away whilst others didnt. Google my name name its biblical

[socks]

When I signed up for UKP I'd just "enjoyed" a bit of selfie porn. The amateur performer that I am had on that occasion, forgotten to take his socks off for a good portion of the action. Didn't spoil my enjoyment at the time but it was aesthetically less pleasing. As penance I chose to remind myself of the indiscretion via my moniker. That and I wanted a short name so that it was quick to type when logging on. Didn't think of that at the time did you my old mate madeinwales56, or sore fingers as I now like to call you

Great thread by the way! Well done OP.

[cockneybstrd]

Like Ronseal my user name does what it says on the tin

[webpunter]

Like Ronseal my user name does what it says on the tin

What about your avatar 

[cockneybstrd]

What about your avatar 

i couldnt find a decent cockney bastard one i guess i should  just have a picture of danny dyer

but i used to enjoy viz and the amusing stereotypical comic escapades of cockney wanker

[webpunter]

i couldnt find a decent cockney bastard one i guess i should  just have a picture of danny dyer

but i used to enjoy viz and the amusing stereotypical comic escapades of cockney wanker

The CW pic looks ace.  Pre-punt you can be Buster Gonad 

[Iloveoral]

i couldnt find a decent cockney bastard one i guess i should  just have a picture of danny dyer

but i used to enjoy viz and the amusing stereotypical comic escapades of cockney wanker

Hidden Image/Members Only

Would that help matey?
Made of cocks I thought ideal for punting 

[Sheer Tights]

I love wearing them and love WGs who wear them

[Iloveoral]

I love wearing them and love WGs who wear them

Well the OP did ask hehe

Are they comfy?

[webpunter]

Well the OP did ask hehe
Are they comfy?

About tights.  The only respectable ones to wear are when you're robbing a bank

[Iloveoral]

Each to their own matey we can't knock ST if that's his thing, just interested how they feel hehe

[Dicky]

I got mine from punting mates in India when they heard I paid three times more as a tourist for a girl to visit me in my hotel on my first visit to the country.

Chutiya literally means 'living in a vagina' but its used as a very common slang in their language for dumbfucks. 

[Joel]

Joel... as Joel Goodsen the main character in Risky Business.

I think in a way it sums up my approach to this world.

[nike]

I got mine from punting mates in India when they heard I paid three times more as a tourist for a girl to visit me in my hotel on my first visit to the country.

Chutiya literally means 'living in a vagina' but its used as a very common slang in their language for dumbfucks. 

I've had a lot of contact with Indians in my cricketing days and I believe it is a derogatory reference to someone who has just been shaffted up his arse, or likes to take it up the arse.

[drwho]

I don't watch (and never really have watched) Doctor Who.

I was called Dr Who by a working girl at a Manchester Parlour.
It was winter and I had a long scarf, tweed jacket and hat. I guess she was thinking of the Tom Baker generation, she was probably old enough to remember him

[PeachyAssFan]

I like women's peachy asses (not big though!) and the sound of me slapping against them :-)

[Topgun]

I have a few usernames. This is the username I used just for this forum.

If you guys knew what I say on other forums I would be instantly dismissed from this forum, lol

Being 2-faced, the only way to be these days especially since politically correct came along.

[Blackpool Rock]

I have a few usernames. This is the username I used just for this forum.

If you guys knew what I say on other forums I would be instantly dismissed from this forum, lol

Being 2-faced, the only way to be these days especially since politically correct came along.

Strange and may I say stupid confession to make given the number of people banned for exactly this 

[webpunter]

Strange and may I say stupid confession to make given the number of people banned for exactly this 

NIK has made a point of not giving a monkeys about political correctness.  But two-faced.  Red card !

[Topgun]

Strange and may I say stupid confession to make given the number of people banned for exactly this 

Nope. As I contribute general, decent or thorough context responses on this forum.

At the end of the day I could be bullshitting. But that could be considered a bit like trolling, but also then just check all my previous posts which are not in any way troll style material. So...

Innocent until proven guilty, even in the slightest.

[Blackpool Rock]

Nope. As I contribute general, decent or thorough context responses on this forum.

At the end of the day I could be bullshitting. But that could be considered a bit like trolling, but also then just check all my previous posts which are not in any way troll style material. So...

Innocent until proven guilty, even in the slightest.

It's not my call but people have been banned for less, some of these banned members had 1000's of posts and multiple reviews but it never saved them

[Topgun]

It's not my call but people have been banned for less, some of these banned members had 1000's of posts and multiple reviews but it never saved them

/face bothered
literally

[Blackpool Rock]

/face bothered
literally

Night night then or goodbye 

[Topgun]

Night night then or goodbye 

Been awake 21 hours, the night is young and good old vodka gives you wings, trust me!

[PickleTwiddler]

I was with a short Indian WG at Cosmopolitan in Bradford, who said I was good at twiddling her pickle.  The punt, and the one before it at the same place, were quite memorable for being absolutely shite.  The first couldn't get far enough away from me while trying badly to wank me off as quickly as possible, and whipped the condom off at the first opportunity then used the old "only one condom per booking" crap when she said "what next?" and I asked for more sex; and the second wouldn't stop talking - normally I'm quite polite, but on this occasion when she started sucking my dick I found myself saying "well at least it's shut you up".  Can't remember their names unfortunately, and it was a couple of years ago, hence no reviews cos it wouldn't be fair to guess at names.

[Marmalade]

Most sensible punters join UKP cos other boards are shite. Ones that just spam all forums to see what floats piss me off a bit. That's not engaging. It lacks any sincerity. If they don't give a fuck about people here, why should we give a fuck about them? Ditto the 'high end wg' thread imo.

[Marmalade]

Nope. As I contribute general, decent or thorough context responses on this forum.

At the end of the day I could be bullshitting. But that could be considered a bit like trolling, but also then just check all my previous posts which are not in any way troll style material. So...

Innocent until proven guilty, even in the slightest.

So you may be a smart cunt instead of a troll. But not an endearing one.

I mean look at this...

From your 'review' : "rarely do reviews on any punting site, but I've just seen this truly amazing escort I thought I'll do a review on here to try help send more business her way as she really does deserve it."

How fucking generous of you. I hope she appreciates it. 

[Topgun]

So you may be a smart cunt instead of a troll. But not an endearing one.

I mean look at this...

From your 'review' : "rarely do reviews on any punting site, but I've just seen this truly amazing escort I thought I'll do a review on here to try help send more business her way as she really does deserve it."

How fucking generous of you. I hope she appreciates it. 

As they say, every little helps! *pats bum* ASDA style.

[Marmalade]

As they say, every little helps! *pats bum* ASDA style.

Are you so thick as to miss the irony?

You say you reviewed her to help her. On here, we review prostitutes to help punters. There are plenty of other sites for "helping prossies." 

[Marmalade]

As they say, every little helps! *pats bum* ASDA style.

Since Nik hasn't banned you for your piss-taking, let's have a look at some of your other "little helpers"...



Here's £160 p.h. "Jenna"
with her stunningly (heavily) airbrushed photo.
(quite hard to find her on your website link, maybe they lost your fanboy offering?
Hidden Image/Members Only

And your other 'review'... the one where you said:
"I rarely do reviews on any punting site,
but I've just seen this truly amazing escort
I thought I'll do a review on here
to try help send more business her way"
This is "Miss Artemis", who sends a polite thank you for your help
Hidden Image/Members Only
an EE with a slightly more realistic price of £120 an hour...

Let's swoon and lose a few fucking marbles over some of your prime offerings:

£120 for first hour. Seriously she is an absolute bargain, she should be charging £200 she is that good. I'd be very surprised if anyone else thinks otherwise.

I think you'll find most people on here would be unimpressed at your recommendation and certainly would not think a prostitute is worth £200 an hour. I am sure she will be pleased that you suggest she pushes her prices up for us

One of the nicest girls I've ever met in my life

Is this a case of someone who doesn't meet many girls thinks anything with tits is a princess? 

I'm not sure if the pictures on her profile are her

but being a gentleman you'll doubtless give her the benefit of the doubt...

they do not do her any justice

  No problem eh? Whiteknight to the rescue

seriously she could be a playboy model.

Seriously, she could not. The Heffner's won't want your sloppy seconds, even if she was 'playboy material' 

one of the best kissers I've known

well at least you got a kiss for new year. Sad.

can tell she's sucked a lot of cocks for her age.

Bet you'd suck hers if she had one 

she could EASILY be a glamour model her body is spot on perfection

Here we go again. But I doubt if you've met any glamour models -- but hey, every (stupid) prostitute likes flattery ...  (the more intelligent ones realise it does them no favours)

This girl is beautiful, she is stunning.

 
Have you thought of writing her profile for her? Some prostitutes are better looking than others. Very few are stunning in a line up.
Of course, you've found the gems that everyone else misses  but your serious lack of discrimination does maybe undermine such a conclusion. 

Her photos are her but some of them do not do her any justice

oh ffs. again? You'll be asking us to treat her well in a minute...

She is utter high class material.

Of course she is. Sorry, she's just phoned to say your discount's not in the post.

Personality 10/10
Sex 10/10
Looks 11/10

Wow. Why not maybe just give her a random 5 figure number out of ten. Equally meaningless.
Your rating system is as fucked as reviews on Adultwork. "Every girl is wonderful, supermodel, can't say enough how beautiful she is." blah.
... what a poor pussy-whipped fucker you are son 

I can't fault her in anything.

you really did bust a gut trying?  c'mon 

Seriously though:
You clearly have no idea of the ethos of UKPunting. On here, the punter comes first. Fanboys should get a grip or lurk or just go to sites that appreciate your shit, as you say you do already.

[Marmalade]

Thank you Nik 

[Horizontal pleasures]

I thought it was appropriate for punting - that's what it is all about, Horizontal Pleasures, and I like that it boils down to 2 letters.

On a previous (unmentionable) site I was AH in case anyone remembers it. There was a guy on here Rochdull Lad - RL - who was there also.

HP