Intro + joke

[iWanker]

Hi all,
I am new here. I was checking this website before joining. I see there is lot of help and support for newbies. You can say that I'm virgin in puting. I did it once in soho walk up back in March after long time (five years) of frustration to get some. 

I'm shy, ugly plus overweight and a loner, that's the reason I don't approach to girls and chat with them. Always in fear of rejections. At night, I beat my meat to porn.  Tried dating sites but no luck at all. Liked few girls and told them about my feelings but got Friendzoned.  So now I assume that, the best way is to get love is paid one. 

The joke
Penis said to condom, "cover me I'm going in"

[Jay-Jay]

Jeez! Your jokes need to improve 
Don't despair mate. I'm a great believer in there's somebody for everybody so keep trying. Just use punting as a pressure release like a lot of us on here do I'm sure but don't become addicted to it. Good luck.

Jay

[Happyjose]

No love to be found here, just hassle free, great sex - if you take heed of sound advice.


Supermarket security guard finds little girl crying in the aisle

"What's wrong" says the security guard

"I've lost my mummy"

"Don't worry", says the security guard. "What's your mummy like?"

"Big cocks and vodka, but how will that help?" says the little girl

[yorkshire123]

Hi all,
I am new here. I was checking this website before joining. I see there is lot of help and support for newbies. You can say that I'm virgin in puting. I did it once in soho walk up back in March after long time (five years) of frustration to get some. 

I'm shy, ugly plus overweight and a loner, that's the reason I don't approach to girls and chat with them. Always in fear of rejections. At night, I beat my meat to porn.  Tried dating sites but no luck at all. Liked few girls and told them about my feelings but got Friendzoned.  So now I assume that, the best way is to get love is paid one. 

The joke
Penis said to condom, "cover me I'm going in"

Welcome wanker

Get your ugly fat arse on here External Link/Members Only  get some flirting/paid shagging done & stop feeling sorry for yourself.

A man staying at a hotel removed a card offering sexual services from a nearby phone box. Back in his hotel room he rang the number and a woman with a silky soft voice asked if she could be of assistance.
"Yes" he said. "I'd like a prostitute in bondage gear, leather, PVC, whips, the lot. And then some hardcore spanking, rounded off with a blow job. What do you think?"
The woman said, "That sounds really good and I'd like to oblige, but if you press 9 first you'll get an outside line."

[James999]

I'm shy, ugly plus overweight and a loner,

So you're another bored pro$$ie pretending to be a punter 

[OakTree]

Hi all,
I am new here. I was checking this website before joining. I see there is lot of help and support for newbies. You can say that I'm virgin in puting. I did it once in soho walk up back in March after long time (five years) of frustration to get some. 

I'm shy, ugly plus overweight and a loner, that's the reason I don't approach to girls and chat with them. Always in fear of rejections. At night, I beat my meat to porn.  Tried dating sites but no luck at all. Liked few girls and told them about my feelings but got Friendzoned.  So now I assume that, the best way is to get love is paid one. 

The joke
Penis said to condom, "cover me I'm going in"

Well I'd  turn that self deprecation around for a start. How about, Im a reserved, characteristically looking big unit who enjoys his own company?

I'm sorry to tell you paying for prostitutes is no way to get love.

[Urban_G]

To me, the tone of the OP's post didn't seem like he was feeling sorry for himself, I felt he was being realistic and honest.

Welcome iWanker, I'm sure you'll have some good punts by interacting with UKP.

[Nagilum]

Collectively, we are all a bunch of wankers on here.  Except soon you will have the girl do it instead 

[stevedave]

Welcome wanker

Get your ugly fat arse on here External Link/Members Only  get some flirting/paid shagging done & stop feeling sorry for yourself.

 

Nail on head.

[iWanker]

Ohh you guys are best here weloming newbies.

So you're another bored pro$$ie pretending to be a punter 

 

Collectively, we are all a bunch of wankers on here.  Except soon you will have the girl do it instead 

 

I know my joke was bad, I oppologiese for that. 

[NIK]

Ohh you guys are best here weloming newbies.
 

 

I know my joke was bad, I oppologiese for that. 

Perhaps you should apologise for two twattish trolling posts.