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So. Forget plan C.... Or D. This is scraping the bottom of the barrel stuff. No one else was available currently or answering phone, idiot girl (granny?) here did.
I asked if available... Yes. Cool, how much is the hour, with "A" included? And she started laughing at me.
"are you crazy" she asked.... Why? "you want anal?? You want I do it to you??"
I replied "no, thank you, for me on you?"
More laughter as a reply... "you are idiot", she said... I simply replied, have a nice day and a good weekend, and hung up.
I suspect that I should change this to positive, as she probably saved me from a lot of self loathing and crying myself to sleep tonight for ever having touched her.
Actually, scratch that, I think I'll go cry into a pint for actually calling her in the first place...
Giving up for today.