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Author Topic: Confessions of a newbie  (Read 2304 times)

Offline Rich42

Good man, i think it has to be done. I've read a duo report on Kendall and Angel and it's something to consider.

Offline drnookie1

My first time, for all the rambling monologue fans here. At least there's some sex in it.


Good read that, Agent W.

it flashed through my head to do a comedy fall as I took my shoes and socks off. Thankfully, I refrained.


My first punt was with a prossie in the Amsterdam RLD on my 18th birthday. She begged me for me 'Sperma'

Get back there and give her the D  :cool:

Offline bangstick

my first punt was at 22 - a long time ago now.  I hadn't got laid in over five years and it was the days of the back of a news paper and praying the description they gave you was accurate.

she was a sixty quid milf in walton on thames and was just interested in sucking big boobs, eating pussy and fucking somebody's brains out. I think by the time I emptied my balls had tightened up like a small wallnut.  I think my body temperature went down about 10 degrees as well!

I couldn't afford anything other than 60 quid punts for a very long time. so got to know the parlours round my way very well.  thems were the days.

Offline Demistify

Hello all.

Stumbled on this site by accident but glad I did. Really enjoy the honesty and it seems there's a lot of good folk on here.

My background: Split from wife a couple of years ago and have just come out of 7-month relationship with a girlfriend in which the sex was magnificent but little else was. However, I can't stop thinking about the sex we had so, in a bid to overpower those flashbacks, I thought I'd raise the stakes and give this a whirl.

Problem is, I'm a thinker. Great for lots of things but a drawback in other situations when I overthink it rather than just let it flow. Still, that's the hand I was dealt and I actually like being a bit of a doofus and enjoy my own and others foibles.

So..... after lots of reading of threads on here, I gave it a go....

Hopefully, some other newbies might relate to some of it. Or maybe it'll just get you already established studs thinking or perhaps just laughing a bit at my incompetence!

Got in touch with X on Adultwork. Sent a couple of messages on there, got her number and rang her to book an appointment. Came off the phone actually shaking whilst also patting myself on the back. Fuck, who would have thought I'd be doing this?!

This was my morning checklist:
Switch wallets. Fill new one with cash
Take spare phone. Leave iPhone at home
Empty everything else from pockets
Take Cialis tablet at 9am
E-mail X to say I’ll still be arriving at 1pm
Think up excuse why I’m in that area in case some colleagues I know work there see me

The punt
Wasn’t as nervous as I thought I'd be this morning. I was probably more nervous about having a ridiculous side-effect from those tablets. Had a vague feeling my face was slightly flushed a couple of hours later but I think I was just imagining it.

Popped into work for 1hr and then debated whether to eat. In hindsight 1pm meeting time was daft. Didn’t want to get low blood sugar and pass out mid-hump but didn’t want bits of sandwich stuck in my teeth so opted for a sausage roll and a packet of mints

Caught cab to destination and was glad to see very few people about. Rang X and she gave me her flat number. Shit that's high up. I'm scared of heights. As if my arse wasn't falling out already.

Got lift up and no-one milling about. Good. Found her apartment which was right on the end of the corridor - good for privacy she said later. She must have been looking through the peephole as she started unlocking the door as I knocked. Again, I wasn’t bricking it as much as I expected. Very first thought…. facially, you’re not actually that pretty. Much less so than former wife and last girlfriend. She was also slightly younger than expected (28-30?). Looked slightly more sophisticated in her pictures (face pixelated out). That said, she clearly had a very hot body and was in a vest, stockings and suspenders.

She had a nice, friendly manner and laughed when I said I was shitting myself.  She led me through to her lounge (where I noticed she had ‘Only Fools And Horses’ on in the background but with the sound turned down). She offered me a drink. I was expecting her to say something from a film like whisky/bourbon on the rocks but it was Robinson’s Fruit and Barley Summer Fruits. I said yes.

I then gave her a hug, told her she was really nice and we had a bit of a passionate kiss. Sort of surprised myself with that as I envisaged myself just sitting there like an idiot and umming and aaahing.

I did feel very tense though so kept trying to tell myself to relax but couldn’t.

I said I’d have to go at my own pace which she was very understanding about and she suggested we go to the bedroom where she’d give me a back massage. She said “keep your trousers on if you like” but I thought I’d get down to my Calvin Kleins although it flashed through my head to do a comedy fall as I took my shoes and socks off. Thankfully, I refrained.

As we walked through to the bedroom, she took her top and bra off and I had a bit of a go on her boobs which were very impressive. More kissing but my brain was still advising caution and telling me it was wrong so the stirrings below were fairly minimal. So much for those bloody tablets. My brain clearly overpowered them.

She gave me a nice back massage with oil but I sort of wanted to see her as she did it so I turned over and she straddled me. Had another go on the boobs but by this stage I realised there would be no sex as I just wasn’t mentally or physically ready.

After another five minutes or so, we had a lie down and cuddle/spoon and, to be honest, that was almost the best bit as we had a good chat for about 10 minutes.

She came across as just a nice and normal lass trying to earn a living but in an unconventional way. Apparently the girl on the floor above was also an escort and they sort of looked out for each other.

Our 30 minutes seemed to last longer than it sounded on paper and she was in no rush to boot me out. Bit more kissing and at no point did she ask for the money which seemed a nice way of doing it. She just waited for me to confirm the price (£70) and pay at the end. She also asked if I wanted a shower before I left.

I asked if I could see her again and she said “of course you can sweetheart, that would be nice.” But, again, not in a cold, robotic way. 

So, how did I feel as I walked out?

Well, it wasn’t the greatest thing I’ve ever done but in no way the worst thing I’ve ever done either. I’m glad I didn’t have sex with her although bit miffed that the tablets didn’t really give me the option as it were. Overall, it was a fun and intriguing experience.

Some of the questions I asked?

Q: Do you ever see a client out and about on the street and what do you do? X: I take my lead from them. If they smile, I will smile back.

Q: How did you know I wasn’t going to be a complete mentalist? X: I could tell on the phone when I talked to you. It’s like a sixth sense. If I’m unsure, I just say ‘no’. You sounded nice.

Q: Did you think I’d turn up today? X: Yes. I know you sounded nervous but you sounded as if you had your mind set on it though. I didn’t think you were a timewaster or anything like that.

She also asked me a question: “So, what made you take the plunge?” Me: Good question! Thought it would be an interesting experience and I’m single so carrying no guilt or anything.”

Would I see her, or someone different, again? On balance, yes but only sort of 60/40 yes.

The fact that I enjoyed the lying in bed bit the best suggests I’m actually really wanting a girlfriend in my life. So that was an interesting discovery.

Could she sort of be a modified version of that girlfriend figure if I saw her every week or two weeks? Possibly. I reckon it would be 50/50 that I’d sleep with her next time but it would be nearly certain on meeting 3. If it didn’t happen then, I’d realise I wasn’t cut out for this lark.

Other little psychological bits….. rather than just be pampered/pleasured by her, I was keen to pamper/pleasure her (rubbing her back, kissing her neck softly, erm, licking her boobs etc) so, again, that feeds into the idea of me wanting a girlfriend.

Was she in fact too ‘normal’? I reckon I could have pulled her had I seen her out and about and then it would just have been a mega-bonus what she looked like in underwear.

Perhaps she wasn’t ‘fantasy’ enough. Perhaps I should try and find someone completely out of my league to turn this experience from a 7 out of 10 to a 9 out of 10? Then again, if I hooked up with a complete bitch that might turn to a 1 out of 10.

Obviously, I’m also aware that I’m just a client but at no point did it concern me that another bloke had been there before and another would be there after me. I guess I’m just aware of the situation. Perhaps that would change if I saw her regularly and I started to form an attachment. That’s a realistic danger I guess.

Overall, though, I’m really glad I did it. Loved the planning, loved the ‘undercover spy’ element, the feeling of naughtiness and she did have a cracking arse and knockers. But very glad too that she is basically a nice human being and I was very keen to treat her with lots of respect and be kind.

Left the apartment, got the lift down and enjoyed my post-escort walk along the canal, gathering my thoughts and taking in the sights.

A fascinating experience.

I also get a face flush from Viagra.

I would take it about one hour/90 mins before your next punt. After 4 hours, I think about half of it is out your bloodstream.

Offline Demistify

So, for punt 2.......

A) Back to same lady
B) Try someone new

Obviously, likely to feel more relaxed with A but what if I fail again? I'll end up back in my flat, rocking in a corner and emitting a helpless wail.

Do I increase the dose of Cialis?

No, don't do that.

Offline Agent W

I also get a face flush from Viagra.

I would take it about one hour/90 mins before your next punt. After 4 hours, I think about half of it is out your bloodstream.

Also bear in mind there are alternative pills such as Levitra and Spedra which may affect individuals differently as regards side effects.

Offline Agent W

Good read that, Agent W.

Cheers. Here's another, about the handjob I got at my first massage parlour experience:

I tried to repeat this at 70a Berwick Street a couple of Fridays ago, and a polite but perhaps slightly jaded girl called I think Clara did the medical exam thing where she told me to undress myself and lie on the bed so she could attempt to put a condom over my unresponsive cock. For me that's never going to work, unfortunately.

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