Popular media on UKEscorting.com (free site!)

UKPunting is a free, independent and not-for-profit paid sex buyer site.


Author Topic: Sickly or is it just me?!  (Read 3797 times)

Offline Marmalade

Some people feel superior throwing money down the drain. They eat in a posh restaurant that serves crap food at greatly inflated prices and then say how wonderful the decor was and how attentive the waiter was. Makes them feel better for blowing a wad.

A fluffbag that writes such crap and in love with a whore cringes at the thought of any other man touching her with more than fingertips much less spunking all over her. He sends out such messages in the hope that they will only want a tender closed-gob kiss and perhaps a hand-shank, for such a princess is not fit to be touched by mortal punter (him and his wallet excepted).

Offline J_H

Well put, as ever Dani. Always interesting to hear it from the WG's point of view.

Offline Dani

  • Service Provider
  • Posts: 2,593
Well put, as ever Dani. Always interesting to hear it from the WG's point of view.

believe me if prossies were to speak honestly they would all say they really dislike this type of punter.  he is the one who wants to 'save' you.  Who keeps asking why you do this as you could do so much more.  Who makes you feel sick as soon as you see his number come up on your phone so you end up hitting the block button.  These are the guys that you know are going to be a problem further down the line, the ones whowont take no for an answer when you tell them you don't feel the same way the ones who think you are only pretending not to love them so you don't get hurt the ones who turn into freaky arse stalkers.
However as most wont speak openly on forums they will tell you these guys are sweethearts who don't mean anything by it.  That they are lovely to spend time with blah blah blah just look at UKE and you will see what I mean.  Everyone loves this job as they are so horny but in another thread none of them want to do this for long as they want better for themselves.   
These guys don't even realise they make themselves look like idiots


What does UKE mean? UKE is short for www.UKEscorting.com

Offline willbred

I remain convinced that the exponents of (e.g)
"treat her well" "what happened stays between the girl and I" "...our date".....
are deluding themselves that they have not just paid for sex and that the girl concerned has fell madly in love with them, and / or vice versa.
Sad cunts
Banning reason: Multiple accounts (willbred, Diplomat65)

Offline willbred

believe me if prossies were to speak honestly they would all say they really dislike this type of punter.  he is the one who wants to 'save' you.  Who keeps asking why you do this as you could do so much more.  Who makes you feel sick as soon as you see his number come up on your phone so you end up hitting the block button.  These are the guys that you know are going to be a problem further down the line, the ones whowont take no for an answer when you tell them you don't feel the same way the ones who think you are only pretending not to love them so you don't get hurt the ones who turn into freaky arse stalkers.
However as most wont speak openly on forums they will tell you these guys are sweethearts who don't mean anything by it.  That they are lovely to spend time with blah blah blah just look at UKE and you will see what I mean.  Everyone loves this job as they are so horny but in another thread none of them want to do this for long as they want better for themselves.   
These guys don't even realise they make themselves look like idiots

I know it's early doors, but I have a funny feeling about this site. I shall watch from the stands for now....................
Banning reason: Multiple accounts (willbred, Diplomat65)


What does UKE mean? UKE is short for www.UKEscorting.com

Offline willmo1

Treat her well comments says she fucks like a church organist. Auto avoid for me.
Banning reason: Leaver

Offline Rampant Devil

Treat her well comments says she fucks like a church organist. Auto avoid for me.

haha.... got me wondering what a church organist fucks like....   which then reminded me of this line from a Prince song...

I told the joke about the woman
Who asked her lover "Why is your organ so small?"
He replied "I didn't know I was playin' in a cathedral."

 :D
Banning reason: No proxies allowed

Here is a cracker I`ve just read on AW, be warned you may need a sick bag  :vomit: I`ve highlighted the real doozies, which to be honest is most of it.

"I will not go into full personal details of our time together. However a few points to be made.

Arrived locally, was given precise details, area safe in day, good access and very discreet entrance. Nice clean apartment.

As for the meeting. I was tired after a long day / early start and needed to relax, and relax we did, layer chatting for a while, no rush, cuddled a while, lets just say all day every day would never be enough of Adelina, you will never get bored as she is an angel sent from heaven.
She is very clean with an amazing petite body very responsive and she is calmly willing with an honest and lovely personality.
All in all. I would marry her tomorrow and cherish her forever

PLEASE Guys…..Make sure you all treat her with respect as angels like this are hard to find.

Until our next meet. I will dream the dream
."


Offline uutarn

However as most wont speak openly on forums they will tell you these guys are sweethearts who don't mean anything by it.  That they are lovely to spend time with blah blah blah just look at UKE and you will see what I mean.  Everyone loves this job as they are so horny but in another thread none of them want to do this for long as they want better for themselves.   
These guys don't even realise they make themselves look like idiots
This is awesome to read from the other side of the coin.
After the last few days browsing UKE this is exactly how i'm seeing it, so much so i verbally sigh when reading; not anger, but pity.
I used to think dignity was a natural thing, i suppose the influx of reality TV shows this is not the case.

UKE definitely has its place, just too much bullshit for my liking. There's enough of that in everyday life.

Apologies for the mild rant.


What does UKE mean? UKE is short for www.UKEscorting.com

https://www.adultwork.com/ViewProfile.asp?UserID=2671901

This prossie charges £2 a minute then has the fucking audacity to put a link on her profile labelled "General living fund". Now unless that's the name of the new NATO Chief of Staff she can go and fuck herself. Stupid cunt.

Offline uutarn

This prossie charges £2 a minute then has the fucking audacity to put a link on her profile labelled "General living fund". Now unless that's the name of the new NATO Chief of Staff she can go and fuck herself. Stupid cunt.
:lol:

"I arrived well after dark,  She looked so cute under the broken street light, I have had a word with the council since.

She took me to her flat, it was dark and somewhat damp, especially the bed.  She was very flattered when I asked for the main light to be turned on and then it hit me.
I was in the presence of the very goddess of love, who had evidently in times of austerity, fallen upon harder times than from those to which she was previous accustomed to.

I removed my chewing gum and flung it near the bin in the corner of the room, I missed, but being a gentleman I went over and tried my hardest to get it unstuck from the carpet.

Darling? she said, why don't you jump on the bed. 

Not wanting to be too shocking to this graceful creature, I didn't say anything crude, I just gestured that she start with a bit of hand relief.

The delicacy of her touch and style was very arousing, her eye contact and smile assured me that she also thought me as being somewhat more winsome than most.

Now I'm not one to kiss and tell, but the artistry which she displayed in her speech really got my blood up.

She had only been in the country 11 days having fled her nation of birth.  Her hair raven black, her eyes a lovely blue.

After several tugs and my foreskin being pulled back, she most respectfully requested I shower.  I of course submitted to her request.

We stumbled past her yachting gear and into the bathroom,two of the three bulbs had blown and I offered to replace them for her.
Love does strange things to the human condition and there I found myself unboxing two GU10 Xenon Halogen 35W bulbs and fitting them correctly for her.

I had prepared for my visit by eating half a jar of instant coffee at home and by this time my caffeine hit was taking effect.

During the shower I took the opportunity, whist she wasn't I might add, looking, to also have a wee.

She opened up the cracked glass shower screen and lovingly started to tease a bar of Wrights Tar Soap around my genital area.

We had yet to even engage in penetration, yet her adorableness was already starting to show, what skills she lacked in washing me, she more than made up for in pulchritude and for that I am eternally grateful.

Back to the bedroom we went, I more than ever wanting that contact that only comes when you "click", with that certain someone.

Of course, most of which I cannot divulge at this time, that would be very low and base of me to annunciate.

For a large girl, she didn't sweat much, albeit for a few lovely beads of sweat that formed around the rim of her anus, these all steamed from a trail that ran down her side which for me would suggest the originated in her armpits.
They greatly aided me in the arse play which then ensued.  I had no need to spit on my finger this time as she was already quite wet.  I circled my index finger around the anus being careful not to snag any of the hairs in my well maintained fingernails.

This then turned into a 69 after she had applied a second condom over the top of the first.
Previously I wasn't one for facesitting, but this paragon of pleasure suggested it, who was I to refuse. 

For the next 20 minutes the only air I took in had been passed first by her shapely mound and bottom.  My whole face smelt like her nether regions for about the space of a week to my thankful surprise.

Having popped a few fingers in and gotten myself a taste, I popped my suit back on and gave her some extra money for some wallpaper and a new bed.
She let me out the front door whilst remaining totally nude, and, whom I can only assume to be her brother entered as I was leaving.

This one I have to visit again, a truly amazing rose who is very much a lady that needs to be seen to be believed.

DO NOT ARRIVE UNLESS YOU ARE A GENTLEMAN - STAY AWAY IF YOU CANT HANDLE REAL WOMEN"

Offline Marmalade

That defies belief.

Especially the last bit, handling real women, as he's probably never met one.

It's the prossie's job to invent the fairytale of GFE for the punter, not punter's job to make one gor the prossie, and certainly not to make one for other punters.


Offline Marmalade

iloverachelv
DODGY FORUM NAME BY WHORE PRETENDING TO BE A PUNTER AND INVENTED FOR ONE PURPOSE?

Lets fix some holes in the story before she adds it her online extras as 'erotic fiction'...


"I arrived well after dark,  She looked so cute under the broken street light, I have had a word with the council since.
NICE OF YOU. LET THE COUNCIL KNOW WHERE YOU PICK UP STREET HOOKERS WHY DONT YOU

She took me to her flat, it was dark and somewhat damp, especially the bed.
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT IN A SQUAT

She was very flattered when I asked for the main light to be turned on and then it hit me.
USING HIS MIND READING SKILLS I SEE -- BADLY

I was in the presence of the very goddess of love,
AND FOR SOMEONE TOO BLIND TO READ, MILLS & BOONE MAY LOOK LIKE A PULITZER PRIZE FOR FICTION

who had evidently in times of austerity, fallen upon harder times than from those to which she was previous accustomed to.
MAYBE THE LAST SPUNKER HAD PROVIDED HER WITH ENOUGH MOOLAH FOR A FIX

I removed my chewing gum and flung it near the bin
SHOULD HAVE JUST SPAT IT OUT UNDER THE BROKEN STREET-LIGHT

in the corner of the room, I missed, but being a gentleman
OR JUST A PATHETIC LOUSY SHOT

I went over and tried my hardest to get it unstuck from the carpet.
AND PRACTICE GROVELLING ON THE FLOOR NO DOUBT

Darling? she said, why don't you jump on the bed. 
SHE HAS TO FIND ANOTHER PUNTER IN TWENTY MINUTES

Not wanting to be too shocking to this graceful creature, I didn't say anything crude, I just gestured that she start with a bit of hand relief.
NOT BEING THE SLIGHTEST BIT ARTICULATE, MOVED HIS HAND IN A MOTION ALL TOO FAMILIAR TO HIM

The delicacy of her touch and style was very arousing,
HOPING YOU'D COME WITHOUT HAVING SEX

her eye contact and smile assured me that she also thought me as being somewhat more winsome than most.
WRITING HIS REVIEW IN HIS HEAD EVEN BEFORE HE COMES? -- OR WAS IT BEFORE HE WENT...

Now I'm not one to kiss and tell,
OBVIOUSLY. BUT WE GET THE PICTURE  :rolleyes:

but the artistry which she displayed in her speech really got my blood up.
YOU MEAN SHE COULD CALL YOUR COCK A COCK EVEN IF YOU COULDN'T

She had only been in the country 11 days having fled her nation of birth.
SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER THAN EVONOMIC IMMIGRANT I MUST ADMIT

Her hair raven black, her eyes a lovely blue.
NO. HER HAIR WAS BLACK, HER EYES WERE BLUE. THE FIRST MIGHT HAVE BEEN MANKY, THE SECOND WIDE FROM DRUGS. THE ADJECTIVES ARE WHAT IMAGINATION DOES. WHEN DID YOU SEE A RAVEN EXCEPT IN 'BOY'S OWN' COMICS??

After several tugs and my foreskin being pulled back, she most respectfully requested I shower.
EITHER HE KNOWS AS MUCH ABOUT CLEANLINESS AS HE DOES ABOUT PUNTING OR SHE NEEDED HIM TO FUCK OFF FOR A FEE MINUTES SO SHE COULD TEXT HER PIMP/GIRLFRIEND ABOUT HOW THE BOOKING WAS DRAGGING

I of course submitted to her request.
SEEING AS YOU ARE NOT A GENTLEMAN BUT A LITTLE SHIT ON THE FLOOR

We stumbled past her yachting gear
MAYBE A POSH SQUAT THOUGH SHE COULDN'T AFFORD A LIGHT BULB

and into the bathroom,two of the three bulbs had blown and I offered to replace them for her.
WOULDNT NEED TO SAY CRUDE WORDS FOR THAT, EH?

Love does strange things to the human condition
ESPECIALLY A LOVE OF WANKING

and there I found myself unboxing two GU10 Xenon Halogen 35W bulbs and fitting them correctly for her.
DIDNT YOU OFFER TO WASH HER TOWELS AND BRING A DE-HUMIDIFIER FOR THE BED??

I had prepared for my visit by eating half a jar of instant coffee at home
PROOF THAT HE IS SERIOUSLY WEIRD

and by this time my caffeine hit was taking effect.
MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL 999? OR BUY YOU A KETTLE SO YOU CAN DRINK IT NEXT TIME?

During the shower I took the opportunity, whist she wasn't I might add, looking, to also have a wee.
BOYS WILL BE BOYS. ESPECIALLY VERY LITTLE ONES

She opened up the cracked glass shower screen
OBVIOUSLY NOT SO POSH AFTER SHE'S BEEN TRASHING THE PLACE. OR MAYBE THE YATCHING GEAR BELONGS TO HER PIMP WHO NEEDS SOMEWHERE TO STASH HUS STOLEN GEAR

and lovingly started to tease a bar of Wrights Tar Soap around my genital area.
STILL TRYING TO GET HIM TO COME EARLY?

We had yet to even engage in penetration, yet her adorableness was already starting to show, what skills she lacked in washing me, she more than made up for in pulchritude and for that I am eternally grateful.
SHE WAS CRAP EVEN AT THAT

Back to the bedroom we went, I more than ever wanting that contact that only comes when you "click", with that certain someone.
A NICE ILLUSION WHEN SHE DESTROYS ANY WILL OF YOUR OWN: PUSSYSLAVE

Of course, most of which I cannot divulge at this time, that would be very low and base of me to annunciate.
WANKER

For a large girl,
FAT. FOR ALL HER 'PULCHRITUDE'

she didn't sweat much,
HAPPY THAT HER STUPID JOHN WAS MAKING ALL THE EFFORT

albeit for a few lovely beads of sweat that formed around the rim of her anus, these all steamed from a trail that ran down her side which for me would suggest the originated in her armpits.
DONT FORGET TO BUY HER SOME MORE WRIGHTS COAL TAR

They greatly aided me in the arse play which then ensued.  I had no need to spit on my finger this time as she was already quite wet.
SOME IF THESE DETAILS DONT CONNECT LOGICALLY...

I circled my index finger around the anus being careful not to snag any of the hairs in my well maintained fingernails.
SOUNDING LIKE HER PIMP GIVING TIPS NOW, ALTHOUGH IM STARTING TO THINK SHE WROTE IT HERSELF...

This then turned into a 69 after she had applied a second condom over the top of the first.
I CANT IMAGINE ANYTHING LESS PLEASURABLE. SHE WANTED 2 CONDOMS JUST TO SHAG YOUR SMELLY COCK?? IT WOULD READ BETTER IF YOU INSERTED AN ARSE-FUCK IN THIS FANTASY FICTION

Previously I wasn't one for facesitting, but this paragon of pleasure suggested it, who was I to refuse. 
AN IDIOT.

For the next 20 minutes the only air I took in had been passed first by her shapely mound and bottom.
PHYSIOLOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SURVIVE ON SO LITTLE AIR EVEN IF SHE WAS FARTING THE TUNE OF BEANS MEANS HEINZ

My whole face smelt like her nether regions for about the space of a week to my thankful surprise.
SO YOU ARE INDEED A SMELLY FUCKER

Having popped a few fingers in and gotten myself a taste, I popped my suit back on and gave her some extra money for some wallpaper and a new bed.
NOT EVEN A SHAG THEN. WILLY STILL FLOPSY AFTER ALL THAT BAD HAM SHANKING AND POKING HER ARSE

She let me out the front door whilst remaining totally nude, and, whom I can only assume to be her brother entered as I was leaving.
ROFL!!!!!!

This one I have to visit again, a truly amazing rose who is very much a lady that needs to be seen to be believed.
JOIN THE QUEUE ON THE STAIRS MATE. OR IF SHES BUSY YOU CAN JUST POP YOUR DONATION THRU THE LETTERBOX

(insulting final text to other punters deleted)
« Last Edit: November 23, 2015, 02:35:55 PM by Marmalade »

Offline Rich42

"My well maintained fingernails" ..... what a fucking ponce!! And... "I gave her some extra money for wallpaper and a new bed" Unbelievable!

Offline Marmalade

"My well maintained fingernails" ..... what a fucking ponce!! And... "I gave her some extra money for wallpaper and a new bed" Unbelievable!

Maybe it's her fantasy made up on the boat over here...

Can we have a link?

Offline Rich42

Marmalade..... that was fantastic, i haven't laugh so much in a long time, excellent work my friend!  :lol: :lol:

Offline Marmalade

This prossie charges £2 a minute then has the fucking audacity to put a link on her profile labelled "General living fund". Now unless that's the name of the new NATO Chief of Staff she can go and fuck herself. Stupid cunt.

Perhaps "dusty phone fund" would be better?

AW: a modern equivalent when a lazy cunt can't even be arsed even to sign on. The Big Issue will maybe run an ad. "Prostitutes required: genuine or chancers accepted."

Sorry Marmalade.

There's no link, I made that up, its a kind of spoof review if you will, it was just for shits and giggles.  I'm a bloke.

I thought it would be spottted as such, I wrote it with my favourite comedian in mind.

You might notice I used some of his lines from this recording. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhRCE4hWtSA

Hope you like it.


I too despise the "treat her with respect" shite that is trotted out by some. My other pet hate is the FR where they say to the effect.." what happened in private is between me and her.." blah blah blah..total BS. A hooker is a hooker. Treat them how you would hope to be treated but if writing a FR then dish it or dont write at all..

They in their own minds are special hence the need to talk down to other punters.

Thank you Dani for your insight.

I have always suspected this. It includes an element of narcissism to compensate for their loneliness and insecurity. These fluffy cunts would probably be serial killers and stalkers if they didn't keep their self control switch in check.

When you read their lovely dovey reviews and vomit inducing fluff, on the surface it all looks harmless but underneath you have one right vicious insecure bastard who takes incredible offence if anyone badmouths their darling WG.

Sure, take offence if someone insults your wife or GF. But on a WG?

Look through any long winded fluffy cunt review here on UKP and take note of their fellow fluffy cunters giving each other congratulatory virtual handjobs. They write these mini novellas to prove a point. To show they are better people and had a better time than anyone else. And their favourite WG loves them better than anyone else.

All stemming from that insecurity.

I'm convinced these fluffy cunts have never had proper girlfriends or wives who can show them what real love is. Their only outlet is the WG where they can live out their fantasist romances an hour at a time.

Sad lonely fuckers.

Treat her well is a phrase used often by delusional fluffy cunts
Often preceded by "I won't go into detail"  :dash:

"I arrived well after dark,  She looked so cute under the broken street light, I have had a word with the council since.


Cheers, Absolute classic, LMAO. Your are a talented script writer in the making.  :yahoo:


Latest media on UKEscorting.com (free site!)