DODGY FORUM NAME BY WHORE PRETENDING TO BE A PUNTER AND INVENTED FOR ONE PURPOSE?
Lets fix some holes in the story before she adds it her online extras as 'erotic fiction'...
"I arrived well after dark, She looked so cute under the broken street light, I have had a word with the council since.
NICE OF YOU. LET THE COUNCIL KNOW WHERE YOU PICK UP STREET HOOKERS WHY DONT YOU
She took me to her flat, it was dark and somewhat damp, especially the bed.
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT IN A SQUAT
She was very flattered when I asked for the main light to be turned on and then it hit me.
USING HIS MIND READING SKILLS I SEE -- BADLY
I was in the presence of the very goddess of love,
AND FOR SOMEONE TOO BLIND TO READ, MILLS & BOONE MAY LOOK LIKE A PULITZER PRIZE FOR FICTION
who had evidently in times of austerity, fallen upon harder times than from those to which she was previous accustomed to.
MAYBE THE LAST SPUNKER HAD PROVIDED HER WITH ENOUGH MOOLAH FOR A FIX
I removed my chewing gum and flung it near the bin
SHOULD HAVE JUST SPAT IT OUT UNDER THE BROKEN STREET-LIGHT
in the corner of the room, I missed, but being a gentleman
OR JUST A PATHETIC LOUSY SHOT
I went over and tried my hardest to get it unstuck from the carpet.
AND PRACTICE GROVELLING ON THE FLOOR NO DOUBT
Darling? she said, why don't you jump on the bed.
SHE HAS TO FIND ANOTHER PUNTER IN TWENTY MINUTES
Not wanting to be too shocking to this graceful creature, I didn't say anything crude, I just gestured that she start with a bit of hand relief.
NOT BEING THE SLIGHTEST BIT ARTICULATE, MOVED HIS HAND IN A MOTION ALL TOO FAMILIAR TO HIM
The delicacy of her touch and style was very arousing,
HOPING YOU'D COME WITHOUT HAVING SEX
her eye contact and smile assured me that she also thought me as being somewhat more winsome than most.
WRITING HIS REVIEW IN HIS HEAD EVEN BEFORE HE COMES? -- OR WAS IT BEFORE HE WENT...
Now I'm not one to kiss and tell,
OBVIOUSLY. BUT WE GET THE PICTURE
but the artistry which she displayed in her speech really got my blood up.
YOU MEAN SHE COULD CALL YOUR COCK A COCK EVEN IF YOU COULDN'T
She had only been in the country 11 days having fled her nation of birth.
SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER THAN EVONOMIC IMMIGRANT I MUST ADMIT
Her hair raven black, her eyes a lovely blue.
NO. HER HAIR WAS BLACK, HER EYES WERE BLUE. THE FIRST MIGHT HAVE BEEN MANKY, THE SECOND WIDE FROM DRUGS. THE ADJECTIVES ARE WHAT IMAGINATION DOES. WHEN DID YOU SEE A RAVEN EXCEPT IN 'BOY'S OWN' COMICS??
After several tugs and my foreskin being pulled back, she most respectfully requested I shower.
EITHER HE KNOWS AS MUCH ABOUT CLEANLINESS AS HE DOES ABOUT PUNTING OR SHE NEEDED HIM TO FUCK OFF FOR A FEE MINUTES SO SHE COULD TEXT HER PIMP/GIRLFRIEND ABOUT HOW THE BOOKING WAS DRAGGING
I of course submitted to her request.
SEEING AS YOU ARE NOT A GENTLEMAN BUT A LITTLE SHIT ON THE FLOOR
We stumbled past her yachting gear
MAYBE A POSH SQUAT THOUGH SHE COULDN'T AFFORD A LIGHT BULB
and into the bathroom,two of the three bulbs had blown and I offered to replace them for her.
WOULDNT NEED TO SAY CRUDE WORDS FOR THAT, EH?
Love does strange things to the human condition
ESPECIALLY A LOVE OF WANKING
and there I found myself unboxing two GU10 Xenon Halogen 35W bulbs and fitting them correctly for her.
DIDNT YOU OFFER TO WASH HER TOWELS AND BRING A DE-HUMIDIFIER FOR THE BED??
I had prepared for my visit by eating half a jar of instant coffee at home
PROOF THAT HE IS SERIOUSLY WEIRD
and by this time my caffeine hit was taking effect.
MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL 999? OR BUY YOU A KETTLE SO YOU CAN DRINK IT NEXT TIME?
During the shower I took the opportunity, whist she wasn't I might add, looking, to also have a wee.
BOYS WILL BE BOYS. ESPECIALLY VERY LITTLE ONES
She opened up the cracked glass shower screen
OBVIOUSLY NOT SO POSH AFTER SHE'S BEEN TRASHING THE PLACE. OR MAYBE THE YATCHING GEAR BELONGS TO HER PIMP WHO NEEDS SOMEWHERE TO STASH HUS STOLEN GEAR
and lovingly started to tease a bar of Wrights Tar Soap around my genital area.
STILL TRYING TO GET HIM TO COME EARLY?
We had yet to even engage in penetration, yet her adorableness was already starting to show, what skills she lacked in washing me, she more than made up for in pulchritude and for that I am eternally grateful.
SHE WAS CRAP EVEN AT THAT
Back to the bedroom we went, I more than ever wanting that contact that only comes when you "click", with that certain someone.
A NICE ILLUSION WHEN SHE DESTROYS ANY WILL OF YOUR OWN: PUSSYSLAVE
Of course, most of which I cannot divulge at this time, that would be very low and base of me to annunciate.
For a large girl,
FAT. FOR ALL HER 'PULCHRITUDE'
she didn't sweat much,
HAPPY THAT HER STUPID JOHN WAS MAKING ALL THE EFFORT
albeit for a few lovely beads of sweat that formed around the rim of her anus, these all steamed from a trail that ran down her side which for me would suggest the originated in her armpits.
DONT FORGET TO BUY HER SOME MORE WRIGHTS COAL TAR
They greatly aided me in the arse play which then ensued. I had no need to spit on my finger this time as she was already quite wet.
SOME IF THESE DETAILS DONT CONNECT LOGICALLY...
I circled my index finger around the anus being careful not to snag any of the hairs in my well maintained fingernails.
SOUNDING LIKE HER PIMP GIVING TIPS NOW, ALTHOUGH IM STARTING TO THINK SHE WROTE IT HERSELF...
This then turned into a 69 after she had applied a second condom over the top of the first.
I CANT IMAGINE ANYTHING LESS PLEASURABLE. SHE WANTED 2 CONDOMS JUST TO SHAG YOUR SMELLY COCK?? IT WOULD READ BETTER IF YOU INSERTED AN ARSE-FUCK IN THIS FANTASY FICTION
Previously I wasn't one for facesitting, but this paragon of pleasure suggested it, who was I to refuse.
For the next 20 minutes the only air I took in had been passed first by her shapely mound and bottom.
PHYSIOLOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SURVIVE ON SO LITTLE AIR EVEN IF SHE WAS FARTING THE TUNE OF BEANS MEANS HEINZ
My whole face smelt like her nether regions for about the space of a week to my thankful surprise.
SO YOU ARE INDEED A SMELLY FUCKER
Having popped a few fingers in and gotten myself a taste, I popped my suit back on and gave her some extra money for some wallpaper and a new bed.
NOT EVEN A SHAG THEN. WILLY STILL FLOPSY AFTER ALL THAT BAD HAM SHANKING AND POKING HER ARSE
She let me out the front door whilst remaining totally nude, and, whom I can only assume to be her brother entered as I was leaving.
This one I have to visit again, a truly amazing rose who is very much a lady that needs to be seen to be believed.
JOIN THE QUEUE ON THE STAIRS MATE. OR IF SHES BUSY YOU CAN JUST POP YOUR DONATION THRU THE LETTERBOX
(insulting final text to other punters deleted)