I've had a chance to read through this ridiculous thread now so thought I would summarise the issues mentioned for a bit of lighthearted fun before I head back into the real world..
1st issue - 1 misled box of condoms in 1.5 years of escorting meaning I didn't have any in the run up to a meeting.
Real reason - Box of condoms had fallen down the side of the bed.
My solution - Politely asked the punter if he could kindly bring another box at my expense and offered to go and buy some if not.
The reaction I get - "Clearly a sign of Bareback on offer" "Inexcusable" "Indefensible" "Useless"
Message this sends out to other escorts - Don't even think about going independent. Get a pimp to help with your "shite organisation". Consider using less condoms in bookings by implementing a 1 pop only policy.
2nd issue? - Shared 2 innocent pictures with my Twitter friends/followers at 10.03pm on Tuesday evening whilst taking a little time-out from work responsibilities and other grievances.
Real reason - This was my private time. Whether I choose to spend it painting my nails, chatting on Facebook, smoking a cigarette, posting pictures or anything else I fancy, I am entitled to do so as this is MY own time.
My solution - None as there was no problem. Just 1 overly sensitive punter.
The reaction I get - Because I cancelled a booking with him that morning due to family issues in the day, he felt this somehow entitled him to dictate how I spent my entire evening.. Perhaps even the whole week.. Who knows..
Message this sends out to other escorts - Don't make a Twitter account to interact and share free pictures with punters as anything you do post will inevitably be twisted to look like a disrespectful act of malice personally aimed at them. Set up a private gallery and premium rate phone line instead and make them pay.
3rd issue - A few cancellations with various clients in 1.5 years of escorting.
Real reason - Periods, Illnesses, Personal problems, Inadequate notice given due to being booked up weeks in advance.
My solution - Apologise. Rearrange for another time. Offer discount when deemed appropriate.
The reaction I get - 'How dare you cancel on me when I'm prepared to pay you! Is my money not good enough for you! I've been waiting weeks to fuck you! Why me? Why me? I booked you and therefore you are to attend NO MATTER WHAT!'
Message this sends out to other escorts - See as many people as possible on the days you ARE well.. This will help prevent you from getting booked up in advance and not leave you with narcissists to deal with when you are unable to work.
4th issue - Stilted comms.
Real reason - Too many punters trying to contact and communicate with me due to a reputation they themselves created for me. I never wanted to be popular and was perfectly happy with business before any mention on here.
My solution - Get back to only those I am interested in seeing and those I have previously enjoyed as there are genuinely not enough hours in the day to reply to everyone especially as I am part-time, have a separate life and another job.
The reaction I get - 'What's wrong with me? Why did you get back to X and not me? You selfish arrogant whore!'
Message this sends out to other escorts - Don't bother getting into escorting unless you are prepared to do it full time and fuck every punter in your region on a regular basis. Certainly don't take any pride in trying to please them as its pointless.. They will only write positive reviews about you until nobody can get a booking and hold you solely responsible for this then attempt to shoot you back down by nit picking at every minor blunder you make.
...Talk about pissing on your own chips.
Yes, yes, this is a punters forum.. I swear some of you repeat that line like a broken record which is ironic considering how much you claim to despise sycophancy. From where I'm standing you sure as hell do a good job licking admins arse.. Never tried it personally but can't say I'd mind!
To my regulars and the decent punters that are reading this screaming "Oh god Katie, what are you doing! You're going to get banned!"... Well, yes that is my intention. I love what I do and the people I meet. This week has reminded me what's really important in life. There is plenty of fun to be had beyond UKP. xxx
To everyone else.. Don't take yourselves so bloody seriously. Nobody else does.