Near misses

[threechilliman]

Just remembered another tip, if you have a separate email or ever copy & paste anything, always copy something random from a regular website before putting down whatever toy you're using. I have my real email address in my notes so often just copy that or the address bar from a website you go to often.

Good advice for those that prepare reviews and then copy and paste them into UKP. I wouldn't like my Mrs to unexpectedly paste one of my reviews. There would be no explanations that would cover me......

tcm

[RedKettle]

Good advice for those that prepare reviews and then copy and paste them into UKP. I wouldn't like my Mrs to unexpectedly paste one of my reviews. There would be no explanations that would cover me......

tcm

Once or twice I have thought about doing that but always decided to type straight into UKP as I would be bound to forget to wipe it.

[np500]

This is why I only use my phone for everything on here and aw, there are plenty of drawbacks and things I can't do but I can easily check out , communicate, punt, and text a thank you massage should I feel the desire. I stay away from the computer at all costs, too many near missis I read about by people that have a far better understanding of computers than I ever will. The whole family uses mine as its a big fucker thay tell me ?

[ClimaxMan]

If any of you STILL use a Sat Nav, ensure you erase the recent journey. I accidentally 'discovered' ALL my travels, luckily, the missus knows I lend it out to mates who need to borrow it.

[Boundless]

A few years ago I occasionally gave an Indie WG a lift home after her shift. She did not drive and we lived fairly close to each other. We were Mates as well as me being a client. The lift took 30 minutes and saved her a 90 minute trip on public transport.
So I would take the last appointment at about 7pm then drive home via her place. She always took a plastic bag of rubbish out of the flat and put it in a rubbish bin on the way to the car. The rubbish consisted of used condoms, tissues and wet wipes. On this occasion I had borrowed the wife's car and unfortunately we didn't pass any rubbish bins on our way to the car. So she put the bag on the floor behind the passenger seat and off we went. It was dark and I parked the car and went in top our house. Next day something told me to look in my wife's car and there was the spunky rubbish bag behind the passenger seat. I disposed of it and went to work in my car. I don't think I would have had a chance of explaining that one.

FFS!!!!

[Boundless]

I delete all history after each time I go on the Internet when I'm with the OH, I tell her it clears cookies & makes it quicker, this is even on iPhone etc. I always log out of whatever forum I'm on, that way it's habit. I delete any calls to parlours etc after I've made them.
The closest to trouble I had was when I was at a parlour at a little get together with some people, when OH calls & aye she needs picking up as she's finished work early. I'm miles out of the way, but manage to spin it that I was shopping at an electronic store because I was looking for something that was only in that store. I had been close to going in the room with one of the girls too, so a lucky escape!

If I'm off piste I never answer the phone from Mrs or kids for that very reason. I explain later that it must have been on silent or I was driving or I didn't hear it etc etc. Far better than that embarrassing question "Where are you?"

[ClimaxMan]

And Im sure you probably do it anyway, but ALWAYS delete your browsing history, NO exceptions!

[mikeyboy1984]

FFS!!!!

+1 I would have went mental if a,wg had left a bag full of spunky condoms and tissue in my car 

[myothernameis]

There a review about a Scottish escort, on here ukp and something similar on AW, not identical, but some of the wording is the same, and I would believe both reviews are from the same person, but with different user names

[sticko]

Here's one from the other day.  I have some pics of a food play session buried deep in my profile on a shared home laptop.  I don't use it often but when I do I log out - and the password is a bastard.  My day to day laptop is the one I use at work (no IT risk; I bought it and set it up).  I have 2 gmail accounts, one work and one personal, and this week, with a colleague next to me I opened the google drive from my work account to check a document.  Yep, you guessed it, one of the files was a thumbnail of me licking maple syrup, strawberries and cream from a very shapely tit.  I moved bloody fast, the picture was quite small and I don't think they noticed. I hope not anyway...

Lots of car-related near misses too - tickets, congestion charge, coming home in the car when I was supposed to be coming home by tube, and, again recently, missing some Chanel face powder that had slid under the passenger seat before the obligatory car clean-up (luckily found before I got home), and then missing some sunglasses in the passenger door storage thing, which I found 2 days later.  Luckily the OH drives only very rarely.

[charlie-mott]

Someone once asked to borrow my phone at work. luckily it had locked itself, they passed it back to me to unlock and AW was open in the browser.

[threechilliman]

Very recently I met up with another punter for a coffee and a chat and bumped into someone I know Slightly awkward, but I had reason for being where I was, so all good.

tcm

[TheNewSeeker]

And Im sure you probably do it anyway, but ALWAYS delete your browsing history, NO exceptions!

Why even create browsing history? Always always use a private (firefox), inprivate (IE) or incognito (Chrome) browser window. When you close this, pages addresses, cookies, images etc are not saved on your drive. It is not safe for forensic investigation but should be enough for peace of mind if you share with the OH. See External Link/Members Only.

[wheeliebinwanking]

+1
I can't find how to delete previous addresses...doooh
Raddy

Had a good chuckle at all of these replies. Never had a near miss luckily, I did receive a miss call when having a tantric massage session but that's about it.

re:Car Sat Nav. My German car has this rather annoying feature. I find it's best to just add random locations aftewards to cleanse the history. I think it keeps upto 5 locations.

I have a punting phone but luckily I collect phones and have at least 3/4 at anyone time. I have 2 genuine phones and 1 punting phone. Punting was is off 98% of the month. I also erase all history / reset phone and buy a new PAYG sim every few months. I don't see the point of saving a providers details...

Also pin enable that screen

I actually passed up on an opportunity to see a massage provider last week as I failed my self test "Why I am here" if one cannot comfortably answer the question it's not worth it for me. As I'd be worried about it during the session. This was even when I was away with work

Also, I know most will do...but I try to find times when I won't "usually" but going to play sports / gym is  a good one

Stay safe

[Agent W]

Why even create browsing history? Always always use a private (firefox), inprivate (IE) or incognito (Chrome) browser window. When you close this, pages addresses, cookies, images etc are not saved on your drive. It is not safe for forensic investigation but should be enough for peace of mind if you share with the OH. See External Link/Members Only.

I use the HistoryBlock plug-in for Firefox. Domains you specify don't make it into browsing history etc, so you don't need to remember to open a private browsing window or clear anything.

My iPhone is always locked and so's my OH's, luckily she doesn't think anything of it - it's pretty standard these days. Only worry is when she want to use mine to change channels or something because hers is playing up or not near the sofa (the Virgin Tivo supplied remote is such a POC) and I haven't had time to check open windows. I use a separate email account (NOT Google) with its own phone app, and it's buried in a folder on page 2 and doesn't look much like an email app. Likewise I use an obscure alternative browser app for private stuff to keep Safari clean, and I try to always leave it on a new tab and minimised when I put the phone down.

[GBush]

I use the HistoryBlock plug-in for Firefox. Domains you specify don't make it into browsing history etc, so you don't need to remember to open a private browsing window or clear anything.

My iPhone is always locked and so's my OH's, luckily she doesn't think anything of it - it's pretty standard these days. Only worry is when she want to use mine to change channels or something because hers is playing up or not near the sofa (the Virgin Tivo supplied remote is such a POC) and I haven't had time to check open windows. I use a separate email account (NOT Google) with its own phone app, and it's buried in a folder on page 2 and doesn't look much like an email app. Likewise I use an obscure alternative browser app for private stuff to keep Safari clean, and I try to always leave it on a new tab and minimised when I put the phone down.

that's why you're "Agent W"

[jimbm55]

Once booked an outcall to our house in London when wife was abroad on a business trip. I know, insane, but Mr WIlly was doing the thinking.

Girl turned up, we chatted downstairs for a bit and then up to bed.

Day before wife returned I was doing a very thorough sweep of the house and for some reason checked down the back of the cushions on the 3 piece suite. Found a BOX of condoms, a big box with a couple of dozen in there at least. WG must have hidden them there (why???) and either forgotten them or deliberately left them to incriminate me.

I could never have explained them away and remain baffled to this day as to why the WG would stuff them down the back of the chair

[Agent W]

that's why you're "Agent W"

You never forget your training

Someone mentioned the paste buffer earlier. The other day I opened the Facebook app and my blood ran cold when it helpfully offered to post a recently copied Adultwork profile to everyone I knew. That could have been seriously life-changing. These guys never think of people with complicated lives when they come up with this stuff.

[wheeliebinwanking]

Once booked an outcall to our house in London when wife was abroad on a business trip. I know, insane, but Mr WIlly was doing the thinking.

Girl turned up, we chatted downstairs for a bit and then up to bed.

Day before wife returned I was doing a very thorough sweep of the house and for some reason checked down the back of the cushions on the 3 piece suite. Found a BOX of condoms, a big box with a couple of dozen in there at least. WG must have hidden them there (why???) and either forgotten them or deliberately left them to incriminate me.

I could never have explained them away and remain baffled to this day as to why the WG would stuff them down the back of the chair

That's just wrong. Where you sitting away chatting on said sofa? Did you leave her out of your sight? Maybe then genuinely fell out ...but

Well done for checking, you couldn't live that one down

[jimbm55]

They were actually stuffed down that crack in the chair where all the old coins, biros and fluff end up. SHe would have had to push them down there pretty fiercely!!

[wheeliebinwanking]

You never forget your training

Someone mentioned the paste buffer earlier. The other day I opened the Facebook app and my blood ran cold when it helpfully offered to post a recently copied Adultwork profile to everyone I knew. That could have been seriously life-changing. These guys never think of people with complicated lives when they come up with this stuff.

WTF....Thank goodness I binned the Facebook app 3 years ago. Only check it every few days on the laptop. Just imagine

Do you guys care that your ISP is tracking your sites? I normally try not to use home wifi for checking websites. I'll use a VPN connection on the phone or use 3G data (though I am sure EE and the like are also tracking, though I tether a lot (doubt it makes any difference))

[Pete_uk]

I'm so paranoid I alway switch my location services off on my iPhone whilst on a punt just in case my missus does a "find friend" on me.

[rogercock00]

Once returned home from a punt with a huge red lipstick kiss on my cheek that I didn't know was there from my goodbyes with the WG 

[Agent W]

I'm so paranoid I alway switch my location services off on my iPhone whilst on a punt just in case my missus does a "find friend" on me.

She knows your Apple ID password? Mine can't even remember her own.

[davxx]

Listening to the radio in the car, I hear Seat advertising and I think Ford do it where your phone blue tooth is linked and when a text message arrives it 'reads' the message to you.

Could be interesting if you are in the car with your OH and you had arranged a punt for another time and text arrives from the WG with a change of details for the meeting etc. Another reason to have a simple punting phone. What will they think of next..    

[Boundless]

Once booked an outcall to our house in London when wife was abroad on a business trip. I know, insane, but Mr WIlly was doing the thinking.

Girl turned up, we chatted downstairs for a bit and then up to bed.

Day before wife returned I was doing a very thorough sweep of the house and for some reason checked down the back of the cushions on the 3 piece suite. Found a BOX of condoms, a big box with a couple of dozen in there at least. WG must have hidden them there (why???) and either forgotten them or deliberately left them to incriminate me.

I could never have explained them away and remain baffled to this day as to why the WG would stuff them down the back of the chair

Maybe it wasn't the WG who put them down there, as you said yourself, you don't have any evidence that it was her or any reason as to why she would.
Perhaps it was the Mrs before she went away and now you've removed them and not said anything to her she knows you're up to no good! 
Watch your back my friend!

[Agent W]

Perhaps it was the Mrs before she went away and now you've removed them and not said anything to her she knows you're up to no good! 
Watch your back my friend!

Brilliant

[jimbm55]

Maybe it wasn't the WG who put them down there, as you said yourself, you don't have any evidence that it was her or any reason as to why she would.
Perhaps it was the Mrs before she went away and now you've removed them and not said anything to her she knows you're up to no good! 
Watch your back my friend!

Admirably perverse!! So glad to be divorced!!

[wheeliebinwanking]

Brilliant

+1

Excellent mind...

[threechilliman]

+1

Excellent mind...

Thinking further, perhaps they belonged to your Mrs? Maybe, just maybe, she's on the game?

tcm

[jimbm55]

So many possibilities!!

[GBush]

Thinking further, perhaps they belonged to your Mrs? Maybe, just maybe, she's on the game?

tcm

 

[CoolTiger]

Watch out in case you catch any glitter/make-up on your face.

Even if you've had a shower at the girl's flat, when leaving you may end up kissing her on the cheeks, and inadvertely picking up the glitter/make-up.

Happened to a punting friend I know, but he easily explained it, by saying he bumped into an old (female) schoolfriend at the motorway service station. 

[GBush]

Watch out in case you catch any glitter/make-up on your face.

Even if you've had a shower at the girl's flat, when leaving you may end up kissing her on the cheeks, and inadvertely picking up the glitter/make-up.

Happened to a punting friend I know, but he easily explained it, by saying he bumped into an old (female) schoolfriend at the motorway service station.

Just tell the OH that you've been to Spearmint Rhino again

[wheeliebinwanking]

So after all of this and reading this thread...I left my punting mobile on the kitchen table! Normally it's tucked away in a draw with 2/3 other aged phones but it looked a bit suspicious on the kitchen table

Luckily I remembered and got back before my OH. If she was back before me, she may have queried it and I could have blagged it but it would have got her thinking.....It was fully locked with a pin code but just goes to show. Don't get sloppy folks

WBW

[19jammy]

Watch out in case you catch any glitter/make-up on your face.

Even if you've had a shower at the girl's flat, when leaving you may end up kissing her on the cheeks, and inadvertely picking up the glitter/make-up.

Happened to a punting friend I know, but he easily explained it, by saying he bumped into an old (female) schoolfriend at the motorway service station.

You can also say you were in a card shop!

[richie]

First near miss was when I got an iPhone, I'd been on AW looking at the locals then closed all the windows etc only I didn't realise safari also stored them so when the wife had a play with it they opened up! Managed to feign ignorance blaming it on spam emails and popups.

Second near miss I had copy and paste the adult work web address into a message for a friend but didn't clear the copy function. Sent a message to the missus later and copy and pasted something but it repaired the AW address instead, I was at full speed typing so I actually sent it too. Can't quite remember how I blagged that one but survived unscathed.

Final one was with a lass from AW I'd started seeing as a fuck buddy, the wife went shopping for the day so I nipped out for a "quick" fuck which rolled into about six hours with her cooking me lunch. Got a load of missed calls from the wife who arrived home early wanting to know why the neighbour said I'd been gone all day. My answer? "None of your fucking business! It's my day off and I'll do whatever I fucking like you nosy cow" worked rather well!

[PotatoPanda]

This thread has made me LOL quite a lot.

Valuable life lessons here.

[SUMO61]

Travelling to a trip abroad recently, on way to airport, with a mate.  My car gets totalled, as a daft twat drives into the back of my motor. Car now undriveable, towed off to car pound...

We carry on to airport in a taxi, a bit stunned and bruised and get on with trip. Sat in hotel abroad, I realise my viagra is stashed in the wheel well, albeit hidden in a little toggle pouch containing walking overtrousers..I was too stunned and shocked from crash to think clearly and get bits out of car...

Insurers now say its a write off and want to get car to salvage and send my contents of car in post to me...I asked for the car to be sent to a pound near to my home, so I can get my possessions out of it, but they are saying, no point, its totalled..

Not yet resolved, but I think i'll get away with it and i'll ask for signed for delivery. No reason for OH to open the parcel, I hope..

Any suggestions gratefully received, just goes to show no plan is foolproof!

[Huawei]

Fucking hell - you can't plan for that, just shows that you can't leave anything to chance. Could you get the package sent to your work address perhaps? I do that for various reasons - usually just so that there's someone available to sign for it.

[SUMO61]

Thanks for the suggestion, good shout..

I rang the insurers this morning and they have agreed to get the car moved nearer to me, so i'm going to pick up the contents later this week, thank fook..

Phew, bit of a narrow escape. As you say, can't plan for that, but i'm not stashing my V in the new car anymore. 

By the way, went for a punt today, it was shit, think it was all on my mind....It's a right risky game, this punting, it's always something leftfield that's can trip you up.