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Author Topic: Stupid / Funny things they say  (Read 2061 times)

Offline Melb

Thought we could have a collection of the daft and amusing utterances of prossies. Either written in blogs / fora or spoken.

Here's a start:
1. "Do you want me to take my clothes off"
No, I thought I would penetrate you through your jeans!

2. "Have you come yet" repeated a few times - while I am still shagging away.

3. From Saafe. In answer to "Should we put our rates down?"
One of the answers was:

"Don't put your rates down, they will come, just got to be patient,
I sometimes do specials, but even now I won't, if they really want to see you, they will pay your rate!
A client actually told me to put mine up! "

And another:
"it has been sooooooooo quiet,I thought about lowering my prices too but I won't after reading this"


Offline Ali Katt

A regular one to get asked is " do you have a girlfriend?" I usually say if I did I wouldn't be here, or maybe she's the reason I'm here.

I also got asked "have you been working today?" not a stupid question and one most escorts ask but, considering I was seeing the escort at 11am - it would have been a short shift or a nightshift, and if it was I would be too tired to punt.

Another regular question "what girls have you seen?" asked in a parlour, I told her, some names. She says "I don't like her".


Offline softlad

"I'll suck you off, you can fuck me, go down on me, but I don't kiss !"  :wackogirl:

Offline softlad

"Sorry I can't change a £20, I'll knock it off next time"  :scare:

(Like fuck you will, I ain't comming back you skank !  :cool:)

Offline softlad

"Do you like oral ?"  :wackogirl:

"Erm just let me think about that for a second " :sarcastic:

Offline softlad

"Oh yes I'm legit, I pay tax and stuff, innit"  :angelgirl:

Offline AnthG

"I'm 33 (although I knock 2 years off my age for my escort persona ;D) "


Offline Melb

On an AW profile "£20 off today" and she had looged in that day.

ME: Just to confirm, it's £20 off today isn't it.
PROSSIE: That was yesterday, good try.
ME: I'm not trying it on. How was I to know it was yesterday and not today?
PROSSIE: Fuck off and annoy someone else you wanker

Offline softlad

"Is my donation behind the kettle"... :dancegirl:

Offline AnthG

On an AW profile "£20 off today" and she had looged in that day.

ME: Just to confirm, it's £20 off today isn't it.
PROSSIE: That was yesterday, good try.
ME: I'm not trying it on. How was I to know it was yesterday and not today?
PROSSIE: Fuck off and annoy someone else you wanker
That one is appalling that one.

A client actually told me to put mine up!

Sounds like a fluffy, they usually say stupid shit like this to get brownie points. When will they learn they mean as much to the escort as a used tesco value baby wipe.

Actually, telling an escort to put her prices up is not doing her any favours because the reality of it is she will get less work.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2012, 07:33:02 PM by sucky2dollar »

Offline Melb

"Is my donation behind the kettle"... :dancegirl:

No, it's in the condom  :)

Offline Melb

All inclusive price...

blah blah
blah

Anal £50 extra

Or "I don't charge any extras except OWO, CIM etc etc"

Offline Ali Katt

All inclusive price...

blah blah
blah

Anal £50 extra

Or "I don't charge any extras except OWO, CIM etc etc"
Another classic is: "do you do everything on your enjoys list?"
"Yes, but OWO, CIM etc is at my discretion"

Online James999

I Don't do that on first meets, when you become regular I do that.

For example when CIM clearly stated on profile. WHat she really means is either

A Someone else wrote her profile and she has no idea what it says
B She is a lying conning Skank

My Usual reply is that I prefer not to pay on first meets, and save it up and pay in a lump sum when I'm a regular, that tends to focus their little brain as you exit the door  :D

Offline softlad

Ho: "I love my regular clients, they tell me all about themselves all their problems, what they do for a living I just love to chat, sometimes I feel like a counsellor"  :angelgirl:

Punter: "That's great now get this in your mouth, we can chat when I'm done, in your time if you love fucking talking so much......"  :cool:
« Last Edit: May 15, 2012, 05:08:26 PM by softlad »

Offline softlad

"Many of my loyal clients ask can they bring me expensive gifts, to this I say of course you can"... :rolleyes:

Offline softlad

Ho: "Do you think I look my age ?"  :dancegirl:
Punter: "What your real age or the blatant lie you advertise !"  :yahoo:

Online James999

I love this job thats why I choose to do it

(Translates to, I can't earn money any other way)

Online Jimmyredcab

My earnings are below the tax threshold.

(When her hourly rate is £200).  :rolleyes:

Online James999

I Only see one or Two clients a day

(Means business is slow, as will see as many as possible in a day)

I Like to be fresh and ready for each client

(I wipe my fanny with a wet wipe after every 4th client)

My Family supports what I do

(My family don't know)

Offline softlad

"I have a Mossad agent as a client..."  :wackogirl:

Offline softlad

Quote from: Xenia Sisterhood Skank
When this board was established, I said that by May-June contributions will decrease to 6-7 posts a day. Looks like its going that way. :-). Give it another month or two, and even most active knobs there will fed up to animate it.

:hi:

Online Jimmyredcab

I Only see one or Two clients a day

Yes we all know that is total cobblers, can you imagine a girl seeing her quota of two clients and then a regular wants a two hour booking.  :rolleyes:
They really are full of shit, and some punters believe them.

Offline AnthG

When this board was established, I said that by May-June contributions will decrease to 6-7 posts a day. Looks like its going that way. :-). Give it another month or two, and even most active knobs there will fed up to animate it.

There should be a topic collating all the 'it wont last' posts that sisterhood escorts did on the opening of the forum. As these will be the most interesting to read.

Could put a link to this in the thread too :)

http://youtu.be/lzWpaUDpjY8


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