Had a day of it on the weekend watching the rugby, especially Wales v Austrlia. Drank too much and ate way too much. Crashed out and woke up around 2am feeling very odd then quickly thought I'm going to be sick. Sat up in bed and had pretty bad chest pain and pain down my arm. Staggered to the bathroom and sat on the bog thinking fuck me I'm having a heart attack. With that I let out 3 huge burps and a fart that not only went on forever but smelt so bad it made me feel really sick and suddenly I felt much better.
Dosed up on rennie, propped myself up on 3 pillows and drifted off to sleep. However, as I was laying there I thought fuck me what would happen if I did have a heart attack mid punt. Ah fuck that would take some smoothing over - if I survived of course. I've reached the autumn years now so a heart attack is possible. I hope if it happened the unlucky lady would dress me, drag me outside onto the street and call ambulance. I might even start signing off my AW bookings with such a request - listen I don't think it will happen but if I have a heart attack leave me on the street somewhere and fuck off before the ambulance rocks up