Becoming "friends" with a girl

[claretandblue]

Yup, even with a girl you can consider a friend (by these standards anyway - social time with no fee) they will still lie to you and mess you around.  It costs you time, money and sleepless nights.

I can't get my head round this,how can he really consider a friend when he is stuffing her a load of cash just to have a chat?surely she can only be a friend once he asks her to meet off the clock and she agrees and start meeting up?

[Distraction]

To the OP: I was about to jump in with an echo of the line "don't pay her just to chat", as I certainly wouldn't, that said, who I am to judge with what you do with your "private time"?

I think a lot of the advice here is well meant, if often bluntly expressed. This sort of thing can easily end in tears.

If you want to know if there is genuinely something there, then ask her out for a drink or meal or whatever with no money involved, even if it is just as friends. You certainly won't know what's going on if you just turn up and keep paying her for a chat. Be warned though, you might have more to worry about if she says yes, than if she says no.

[Dani]

Of course she is being your friend as you are paying her to be. She has cottoned on she can spend the time just talking so is taking advantage of that. As for hinting about going away with you. You would be paying for everything so it wouldn't be free and there would still be no sex so she gets a free holiday for nothing

There may be a minuscule chance I am wrong but I doubt it very much. By now any decent girl would have stopped seeing you as they would feel too guilty taking advantage.  If this girl was interested in being a friend or anything else she would have slipped you her personal number and asked to meet up unpaid. She hasn't so she isn't.  You must be feeling a little lonely to feel the need to pay a prossie to pretend to be friends with you.  She is not a friend as a friend would never charge you to meet up. If she thought of you as a friend she would have stopped you paying her and arranged to meet away from work.   Make new friends you don't have to pay to chat too. Genuine friends who actually care about you rather than get paid to be nice to you.

I guarantee that if you ask her to meet up for free it won't happen. Even if she says yes there will be many excuses as to why she can't make it

[Big Cat]

Mate, it is absolutely bonkers that you are paying her just to sit there and talk. Pure insanity.

It could be worth asking her out/asking how she feels and getting your definitive answer that way. But for the love of god don't blow any more cash just to speak to her.

[peter_bungee]

This place, sometimes! 
Ricky, you seem like a level-headed guy. You've been punting a while and have written lots of reviews. Just goes to show that we're all vulnerable to EAS. I think you know that you can't go on paying her just to talk to her. That's not a relationship. You're telling us about it because, deep down you want us to point out to you the ridiculousness of the whole thing.

It's make or break time. Tell her how you feel. Say you want to see her outside of work, without payment. Don't go back to see her at the parlour again - ever. If you don't hear from her again then move on as that proves she just took you for a ride.

True i have punted for a few years (but not excessively) and this is the first time i have connected with a girl, the others i have generally kept it business like.  I am certainly not lonely lol, its more that i have fallen for her and part of me thinks she will think better of me if i don't shag her and we just chat and time goes super quick .  Shes had a really heart breaking upbringing and has confided it all to me, i think she just likes having someone to talk about it all to

Thanks for other comments, it has made me rethink it, iv not yet directly asked for her number partly as its only been a few months and have thought these things take time and to build that trust.  If we go away i certainly wont pay her flights/accomm and dont think she would expect it as shes not that kind of person.  Yes there probably then wont be any sex but thats fine

I think i will cut back to every 2 weeks and maybe suggest swapping numbers/email

[LL]

I think i will cut back to every 2 weeks and maybe suggest swapping numbers/email

Your choice of course. I have actually been in this situation myself. Well I didn't continue to pay her for our meets but I got the number of a WG I "connected" with. I spent a lot of time texting her and met her for free "dates". It was good whilst it lasted. Her GFE was better than anybody else's as she actually managed to fool me for several weeks. She was manipulative and used me to help her find other employment in this country (foreign to her). As I would get to know her she admitted that other clients had helped her out. One guy let her rent a flat from him without any references. Of course she didn't have any, she'd only arrived from Poland a few weeks earlier. So then I wondered how many guys she had in tow, just like me. There was another guy who had booked her for 3 hours every day for a month - just to chat - no sex! Sound familiar? That bloke disappeared (probably went bankrupt). I would have done anything for her - just like the other guys. Like you, I was told of trips away together, a longer-term affair, not just a couple of dates. Like you, I felt like I'd fallen for her. Later, after things had ended I would re-assess that and decide that it was an infatuation with her that I had and nothing more. I had fallen for "the idea" of finding a girl much younger than me, much prettier than I thought I could get. One who made me feel good about myself. Appreciated. Young again!

Anyway when it ended (badly) I found out that she'd had a boyfriend all along and I felt like a mug. If this girl cared about you she wouldn't be taking your money. If she really liked you for who you are she'd already have given you her number (Dani is right). When you get to know a WG - if she opens up like this one had to you - they all have a sad story to tell I'm afraid. She's no different to the norm. The dark side of punting. Most of us don't want the boner-kill of finding out how the beautiful young lady we've booked found herself in such a desperate situation. Be careful.

[Access]

The perfect answer. I can't believe you're spending money to speak to a WG, she must be laughing her tits off at you.

totally agree. Let's face it, these women do this for the money. I bet she'd rather not be fucking fat old men for money, and she's found someone who'll still pay the rate just for talking. Ask her to meet you for a drink, if she says yes, ask if it'll be chargeable or will it be a drink as friends. You'll know either way then

[YorkshirePunt16]

Ok I get this, I really do !

My head tells me everything negative that people have responded to the OP.  But there is part of me (and yeah I really like the girl) that thinks, why not !

[LoneWolf2020]

mate, seriously you are making a dick of yourself. how embarrassing paying someone to talk to you.

[vw]

mate, seriously you are making a dick of yourself. how embarrassing paying someone to talk to you.

Make up your mind !

i must admitt i'm a member of the 'i dont get why guys take them out' brigade. I dont understand it and i dont think i ever will however that doesnt mean i would berate the guys that do that sort of thing. my attitude is if you enjoy doing it then thats all that matters, i, personally see it as a waste of money and time, Also it all seems very artificial....i mean if you tell a joke how would you know if shes laughing with you or at you? but i'm not going to sit and preach to the guys that are into that sort of thing because its up to them.

[JIMI1234]

i am a good judge of character

Every time I read or here this from someone, i laugh....
Most people think they are good or great judges of character.... But you know what, it's better to be honest and admit nearly everyone is a shite judge of character. We see in others what we want to see, not what's really there

[Cuntminion]

Every time I read or here this from someone, i laugh....
Most people think they are good or great judges of character.... But you know what, it's better to be honest and admit nearly everyone is a shite judge of character. We see in others what we want to see, not what's really there

I'm an awful judge of character, vw is my forum buddy 

[JIMI1234]

I'm an awful judge of character, vw is my forum buddy 

   

[vw]

I'm an awful judge of character, vw is my forum buddy 

Who  ?

[DogFace36]

Of course she is being your friend as you are paying her to be. She has cottoned on she can spend the time just talking so is taking advantage of that. As for hinting about going away with you. You would be paying for everything so it wouldn't be free and there would still be no sex so she gets a free holiday for nothing

There may be a minuscule chance I am wrong but I doubt it very much. By now any decent girl would have stopped seeing you as they would feel too guilty taking advantage.  If this girl was interested in being a friend or anything else she would have slipped you her personal number and asked to meet up unpaid. She hasn't so she isn't.  You must be feeling a little lonely to feel the need to pay a prossie to pretend to be friends with you.  She is not a friend as a friend would never charge you to meet up. If she thought of you as a friend she would have stopped you paying her and arranged to meet away from work.   Make new friends you don't have to pay to chat too. Genuine friends who actually care about you rather than get paid to be nice to you.

I guarantee that if you ask her to meet up for free it won't happen. Even if she says yes there will be many excuses as to why she can't make it

  LISTEN TO THIS WOMAN

[LoneWolf2020]

its hard to have smpathy with the OP. A grown man should be well aware when he is not just being taken advantage of but being taken the piss out of.

[Cuntminion]

its hard to have smpathy with the OP. A grown man should be well aware when he is not just being taken advantage of but being taken the piss out of.

True i have punted for a few years (but not excessively) and this is the first time i have connected with a girl, the others i have generally kept it business like.  I am certainly not lonely lol, its more that i have fallen for her and part of me thinks she will think better of me if i don't shag her and we just chat and time goes super quick .  Shes had a really heart breaking upbringing and has confided it all to me, i think she just likes having someone to talk about it all to

Thanks for other comments, it has made me rethink it, iv not yet directly asked for her number partly as its only been a few months and have thought these things take time and to build that trust.  If we go away i certainly wont pay her flights/accomm and dont think she would expect it as shes not that kind of person.  Yes there probably then wont be any sex but thats fine

I think i will cut back to every 2 weeks and maybe suggest swapping numbers/email

This post specifically the bold, was you Ricky, for me, gone fucked up and committed all your feels and sense to landing the prize Christmas turkey


This won't end well


I'm here if you need me



To say I told you so

[BeesKnees]

Your choice of course. I have actually been in this situation myself. Well I didn't continue to pay her for our meets but I got the number of a WG I "connected" with. I spent a lot of time texting her and met her for free "dates". It was good whilst it lasted. Her GFE was better than anybody else's as she actually managed to fool me for several weeks. She was manipulative and used me to help her find other employment in this country (foreign to her). As I would get to know her she admitted that other clients had helped her out. One guy let her rent a flat from him without any references. Of course she didn't have any, she'd only arrived from Poland a few weeks earlier. So then I wondered how many guys she had in tow, just like me. There was another guy who had booked her for 3 hours every day for a month - just to chat - no sex! Sound familiar? That bloke disappeared (probably went bankrupt). I would have done anything for her - just like the other guys. Like you, I was told of trips away together, a longer-term affair, not just a couple of dates. Like you, I felt like I'd fallen for her. Later, after things had ended I would re-assess that and decide that it was an infatuation with her that I had and nothing more. I had fallen for "the idea" of finding a girl much younger than me, much prettier than I thought I could get. One who made me feel good about myself. Appreciated. Young again!

Anyway when it ended (badly) I found out that she'd had a boyfriend all along and I felt like a mug. If this girl cared about you she wouldn't be taking your money. If she really liked you for who you are she'd already have given you her number (Dani is right). When you get to know a WG - if she opens up like this one had to you - they all have a sad story to tell I'm afraid. She's no different to the norm. The dark side of punting. Most of us don't want the boner-kill of finding out how the beautiful young lady we've booked found herself in such a desperate situation. Be careful.

Damn that truly is the dark side of punting. I got a reality check with a wg I was infatuated with when I was told by another wg, that said wg had an overnight every week for several weeks. That's £800. The reality check is you can't beat a guy with a bigger wallet than you.

Ricky, you might eventually get shrugged off for some guy who can pay more than what you're offering (as friends or paid sex). It's part of her business. She's the one to decide whether or not it's worth "losing money" by taking time off work to chill and have jokes with you.

If paying for her time is the only time you see her then do the right thing and listen to Dani

[vw]

This post specifically the bold, was you Ricky, for me, gone fucked up and committed all your feels and sense to landing the prize Christmas turkey


This won't end well


I'm here if you need me



To say I told you so

Glad your my friend not my enemy !

[tonysoprano]

There's nothing wrong with becoming friends or fuck buddies with a WG. As long as no money is changing hands. Paying a WG just to talk to you is absolutely fucking retarded.

[LoneWolf2020]

just as retarded as all this flirting with them non-sense

[Dingo1]

When in my 20's and speaking with cam girls i used to think like this and I would feel bad for them that they had to resort getting paid to perform... The girls used to talk about flying over and meeting them or coming over here, in reality it was to hook me into keep coming back.

When I started punting years later, I'm now well into my 30's, I kept this in mind but to begin with I found it quite difficult especially if the wg was very chatty during the meet but in reality it's an act that your paying her to perform, I find GFE a bit too much so try and stay away from it, I'm not a porn stud by any means and probably quite vanilla but it helps to keep it real.  As others have said, it's a business transaction and that's it.  I see one girl quite often, maybe 2/3 month and we have talked about all sorts of things and I feel we now know each other quite well but that's where it stays.  Every time I leave I text to say thank you and never get a reply, I do it to be curtious but it show that even conversation we have no matter how genuine that appear or personal they seem they are always on the clock even if that clock does run over.

With most things in life the fantasy of things being different is normally far from the reality.

[Tiger63]

Hi guys

Something weird has been happening recently and i haven't really given it much thought until this weekend.  I havent seen many new girls recently (a couple of 30min punts) but there is this girl i first saw in july and had a great time, then i kept seeing her every 1/2 weeks for 1hr/30min, she is genuinely the most kind hearted person iv met (yes there will be some scepticism from this forum e.g shes putting it on) but i am a good judge of character

Each appointment has involved more and more chatting and getting to know each other to the point where the last 3 meetings i havent even taken my clothes off    she has hinted at some action every time looking back but it felt natural at the time and i enjoyed chatting to her, she really opened up and told me personal shit

I have also been buying small (non pricey) gifts as i see something and think of her.  She also hinted she wants to come away with me soon (non paid) , we are a similar age and common interests. 

Im not sure how to proceed, it almost feels wrong now to initiate any intimacy as shes like a friend so i dont know what to do....do i ask her to meet outside? I don't want to make it awkward if she says no...or do i wait still for her to trust me as its been a relatively short time frame?

Well I`ll tell you shall I.......she is taking the piss mate...and probably not just out of you.
Too bloody right she will fancy coming away with you,and if you think you wont be paying....think again....there will be an excuse why she cant pay at the moment and can you lend her the money.

The way you "proceed" is to walk away, no matter how hard it wiil be, because she is going to drain you dry and then move on to the next mug that falls for it..

Do yourself a favour and read Danis post a few times.

Good luck mate

[Deviant]

So nobody ever married a "girl". That True Romance thing never happens in real life.

Damm I have spent more than 20 years looking for a real life Alabama Worley

[Deviant]

Actually you guys need to know how to play these women!

I found dangling expensive gifts/carrots in front of them works wonders.

Once you figure you are being spun lines by a golddigger milk it!

The trick is never to hand over the gift or money but play along with them for as long as you can. I took my ex wife's engagement ring on a punt once and showed it to a girl I saw on a regular basis and was giving me all the "I love you lines". I saw it as a test. A genuine woman would have been embarassed and refused something that serious, but the gold digger's eyes lit up. She had finally found the kind of thing she had been digging for with multiple guys.

Out of that came offers of free sex and meet ups in her own time. The ring went home with me but she would keep on questioning me as to where "her ring was". It was kind of like Lord of the rings for a while.

Play them at their own game! Act out the part but without spending any money. Tempt them with a big big carrot and then have them dance to your tune!

Deviant's guide to messing with the heads of gold diggers!

[Cuntminion]

Actually you guys need to know how to play these women!

I found dangling expensive gifts/carrots in front of them works wonders.

Once you figure you are being spun lines by a golddigger milk it!

The trick is never to hand over the gift or money but play along with them for as long as you can. I took my ex wife's engagement ring on a punt once and showed it to a girl I saw on a regular basis and was giving me all the "I love you lines". I saw it as a test. A genuine woman would have been embarassed and refused something that serious, but the gold digger's eyes lit up. She had finally found the kind of thing she had been digging for with multiple guys.

Out of that came offers of free sex and meet ups in her own time. The ring went home with me but she would keep on questioning me as to where "her ring was". It was kind of like Lord of the rings for a while.

Play them at their own game! Act out the part but without spending any money. Tempt them with a big big carrot and then have them dance to your tune!

Deviant's guide to messing with the heads of gold diggers!

Why play anyone?

Just treat it for what it is an enjoyable hour and keep it at that

I'm not trying to find genuine nor gold digger because it's irrelevant to this hobby if you take it for what it is, which op has not


Edit

Another note after rereading your post

For me personally greed and selfishness are two of the worst traits for me, the fucking about you mentioned what benefit does that give either person in drawing that quality out?

If you stuck to the rules in the first place you wouldn't be in that position and all that ring shit is very childish on your part

[MancSean]

Of course she is being your friend as you are paying her to be. She has cottoned on she can spend the time just talking so is taking advantage of that. As for hinting about going away with you. You would be paying for everything so it wouldn't be free and there would still be no sex so she gets a free holiday for nothing

There may be a minuscule chance I am wrong but I doubt it very much. By now any decent girl would have stopped seeing you as they would feel too guilty taking advantage.  If this girl was interested in being a friend or anything else she would have slipped you her personal number and asked to meet up unpaid. She hasn't so she isn't.  You must be feeling a little lonely to feel the need to pay a prossie to pretend to be friends with you.  She is not a friend as a friend would never charge you to meet up. If she thought of you as a friend she would have stopped you paying her and arranged to meet away from work.   Make new friends you don't have to pay to chat too. Genuine friends who actually care about you rather than get paid to be nice to you.

I guarantee that if you ask her to meet up for free it won't happen. Even if she says yes there will be many excuses as to why she can't make it

Whether she's taking advantage or not the OP is allowing it to happen  and in her position who wouldn't take the cash to chat I know I bloody would. People get rich on other people's kindness/stupidity. At end of day if he didn't make the bookings she wouldn't need to chat instead of tuck.

[Deviant]

what benefit does that give either person in drawing that quality out?

It is called "scam baiting". It is an art form. Take a look at the following site where they bait Nigerian scammers.

External Link/Members Only

[yorkshire123]

Actually you guys need to know how to play these women!

I found dangling expensive gifts/carrots in front of them works wonders.

Once you figure you are being spun lines by a golddigger milk it!

The trick is never to hand over the gift or money but play along with them for as long as you can. I took my ex wife's engagement ring on a punt once and showed it to a girl I saw on a regular basis and was giving me all the "I love you lines". I saw it as a test. A genuine woman would have been embarassed and refused something that serious, but the gold digger's eyes lit up. She had finally found the kind of thing she had been digging for with multiple guys.

Out of that came offers of free sex and meet ups in her own time. The ring went home with me but she would keep on questioning me as to where "her ring was". It was kind of like Lord of the rings for a while.

Play them at their own game! Act out the part but without spending any money. Tempt them with a big big carrot and then have them dance to your tune!

Deviant's guide to messing with the heads of gold diggers!

For some unknown reason Bell-end springs to mind.

So the saviour of the soho prossie's turns out to be a devious cunt, I seriously hope they read this and know who you are   

[Cuntminion]

It is called "scam baiting". It is an art form. Take a look at the following site where they bait Nigerian scammers.

External Link/Members Only

Your missing the multiple points

Who was wants to go toe to toe scam baiting?

That's no fun

If it goes tits up walk away

If you over involve yourself and get eas it's your own fault

The average punter should never have to get into the baiting bollocks as they play by rules and realize what this is

If your naive enough to get eas then baiting just adds another level of fuckerry to it

Op should just walk away and if he dont like that answer shouldn't have asked the question

[JIMI1234]

For some unknown reason Bell-end springs to mind.

So the saviour of the soho prossie's turns out to be a devious cunt, I seriously hope they read this and know who you are 

+1

[vw]

For some unknown reason Bell-end springs to mind.

So the saviour of the soho prossie's turns out to be a devious cunt, I seriously hope they read this and know who you are 

That Deviant not someone I would want to be associated with, bet he has a few mentions on saafe

[Deviant]

No mentions on safe VW. I behave for the most part. But the ring test is a real good indicator. Dangle a big prize in front of a woman you suspect of trying to scam you. If she refuses and says you are going too far then you know she is genuinely a friend. If you feel she would gladly pocket it though then you know she sees you as scam material.

Check out the girls for gifts etc. Often the ones who want to show off jewellry and expensive gifts they have been bought by other clients are the ones who have caught the scamming bug and are looking for more guys to donate expensive presents to them.

[AgedCases]

I hate the WGs who ask you to call them a week or so later and text you if you don't to remind you of their existence. It's begging for more money in my eyes.

[vw]

I hate the WGs who ask you to call them a week or so later and text you if you don't to remind you of their existence. It's begging for more money in my eyes.

Advertising, shouldn't do it unless requested.  Have asked a few touring girls to text me when they know they are coming my way again.  Shouldn't happen without permission.

[JIMI1234]

I hate the WGs who ask you to call them a week or so later and text you if you don't to remind you of their existence. It's begging for more money in my eyes.

Must admit, I have never had this problem.
Unless I'm making another booking, there is no on-going contact between me and any WG. I don't want reminding of who they are, where they are working or what area etc etc.... I can find this out for myself if I'm so inclined to need this info

I never get begging texts, or requests for money to help with their grans health/urgent bills/etc etc

I'm very polite and respectful to WG's... not too keen on getting any public feedback from them even (though Candii has just been so kind as to politely comment) and the one's i find very attractive I take little gifts when i see them (perfume, wine etc etc - cos money isn't really a problem) but i think I do come across as 'no mug'..... Maybe's the OP on this thread needs to wise up and learn some 'street smarts' or he will continue to be one of life's victims.

[claretandblue]

+1

+2 I predict a Andrew style meltdown from this poster at some point

[Deviant]

Claret you predicted I would last a week when I first came over. How accurate have your predictions been so far?

[Placebo88]

Whether she's taking advantage or not the OP is allowing it to happen  and in her position who wouldn't take the cash to chat I know I bloody would. People get rich on other people's kindness/stupidity. At end of day if he didn't make the bookings she wouldn't need to chat instead of tuck.

I agree with this totally.From reading the OP's posts it is he who is the maker of the current situation rather than her.When she has tried to initiate her usual service her has stopped her as seeing her as a friend he feels it inappropriate , although the paying seems acceptable to him.Most escorts and agencies do have a line about ' charging for their time and company ' and if this is how the OP is choosing to use his time with her then the girl cannot be blamed for taking the money ; especially if she is a parlour worker who's bosses would not look to kindly on her telling customers it is best not to visit.

If you are treated badly or given poor service you have a right to be annoyed with and have a low opinion of the provider and should not see them again.But as the saying goes , ' Fool me once , shame on you .Fool me twice , shame on me .' The OP keeps returning of his own free will and is responsible for his own actions.

To the OP ; I think you know it is not an ideal situation at the moment otherwise you would not have posted and I repeat the original advice that the only way to find out if she genuinely wants to see you socially as a friend is to ask her and you should do it asap for your own self respect and peace of mind as the longer you leave it the worse it will get.You may prove most of the posters on here wrong and get what you wish for from it , but whatever the outcome it is better than the way things stand at the moment and will allow you to move on.

[Cuntminion]

+2 I predict a Andrew style meltdown from this poster at some point

Probably

Not even a hundred posts in and a great display of idiocy and malice , that bullshit was the first post in my time here I genuinely thought tosser

[vw]

Probably

Not even a hundred posts in and a great display of idiocy and malice , that bullshit was the first post in my time here I genuinely thought tosser

8 of them were reviews !

[claretandblue]

Claret you predicted I would last a week when I first came over. How accurate have your predictions been so far?

Let's see, you were here for a week or so them seemingly disappeared for some time only to return today,are things quiet over on prossienet?

[Cuntminion]

Let's see, you were here for a week or so them seemingly disappeared for some time only to return today,are things quiet over on prossienet?

Registered 2011, first post 2015

Took deviant four years to come up with this shit

[Deviant]

So much jealousy coming out on this thread. Must be the new avatar 

[yorkshire123]

Claret you predicted I would last a week when I first came over. How accurate have your predictions been so far?

Where you & your plonkernet mates go wrong is thinking that all you have to do is keep on the right side of admin & you will be OK to troll this forum willy-nilly.

Yes admin has the final say & the ability to end your membership but its the genuine members that will scrutinise every post you make & chip away with gentle ribbing until finally you fuck up.

You may think you are a smart fucker but please remember these guys have spotted & reported much smarter troll's than you could ever dream of becoming.

Remember little brother is watching you     

[vw]

Claret you predicted I would last a week when I first came over. How accurate have your predictions been so far?

Wishful thinking maybe !

[claretandblue]

Registered 2011, first post 2015

Took deviant four years to come up with this shit

He only started posting during the soho walk up meltdown over on prossienet which was then bought over to this site

[vw]

So much jealousy coming out on this thread. Must be the new avatar 

I believe your UKP tombstone will read unpleasant entity at the foot of all of your posts !

[claretandblue]

Not long now chaps, I'm off for my tea now,who knows he might even be gone by the time I return 

[Deviant]

Poor Admin. I thought I read elsewhere that he was tired of all this bickering.

Try to play nicely with the new kids!