Becoming "friends" with a girl

[peter_bungee]

Hi guys

Something weird has been happening recently and i haven't really given it much thought until this weekend.  I havent seen many new girls recently (a couple of 30min punts) but there is this girl i first saw in july and had a great time, then i kept seeing her every 1/2 weeks for 1hr/30min, she is genuinely the most kind hearted person iv met (yes there will be some scepticism from this forum e.g shes putting it on) but i am a good judge of character

Each appointment has involved more and more chatting and getting to know each other to the point where the last 3 meetings i havent even taken my clothes off    she has hinted at some action every time looking back but it felt natural at the time and i enjoyed chatting to her, she really opened up and told me personal shit

I have also been buying small (non pricey) gifts as i see something and think of her.  She also hinted she wants to come away with me soon (non paid) , we are a similar age and common interests. 

Im not sure how to proceed, it almost feels wrong now to initiate any intimacy as shes like a friend so i dont know what to do....do i ask her to meet outside? I don't want to make it awkward if she says no...or do i wait still for her to trust me as its been a relatively short time frame?

[claretandblue]

Are you still paying her for these non sex sessions? Are you single?

[AnthG]

Quite literally read this topic and the replies. Same issue as someone else tonight too

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=67722.0

[Sylvester]

Talk to her about it - see if she has any real interest in meeting socially.  She will either say yes or no, and you will know where you stand.

[Cuntminion]

Are you still paying her for these non sex sessions? Are you single?

I assume as it is was mentioned as appointment it was paid for?

Clarify please rrrriiiiccccckkkkyyyyyy

[peter_bungee]

I assume as it is was mentioned as appointment it was paid for?

Clarify please rrrriiiiccccckkkkyyyyyy

Yes i am paying of course, shes working in a parlour

[tonysoprano]

Did she give you the money back after you spent your 30 minute appointments talking to her?

[claretandblue]

Yes i am paying of course, shes working in a parlour

Sounds like a weird set up,are you single? If you did meet up with her off the clock how would you feel about her shagging all and sundry while at work?

[peter_bungee]

Quite literally read this topic and the replies. Same issue as someone else tonight too

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=67722.0

Yep this is pretty much me!  Though not sure if iv fallen in love totally or just want her as a mate...

But feelings of seeing/thinking of seeing someone else have me thinking "i could have had a session with her"

I guess i will have to see how it goes, if she gives me her number/comes away with me

[AnthG]

Invite her to go and see the new James Bond movie in a weeks time.

See if she then comes back with "that will be £120 for that"

[peter_bungee]

Did she give you the money back after you spent your 30 minute appointments talking to her?

No

[Cuntminion]

Yes i am paying of course, shes working in a parlour

Your paying for just a chat on multiple occasions

I'm not gonna be mean or cynical but surely on a logical level if she wanted to holiday unpaid she would of proactively moved the chats already to unpaid and out of the parlour to gauge your company in a normal situation

[yorkshire123]

Yes i am paying of course, shes working in a parlour

Fuck me are you still seeing the same parlour girl from last December? or is it the girl from last November?

Have you got EAS on direct debit or do you pay it off in one go 

[peter_bungee]

Sounds like a weird set up,are you single? If you did meet up with her off the clock how would you feel about her shagging all and sundry while at work?

Yep single, we both are

Im not sure i would mind, as shes a loyal kind person so would realise its a job and has been treated badly in the past

[Cuntminion]

Did she give you the money back after you spent your 30 minute appointments talking to her?

Probably couldn't if parlour based but it's a fucking convenient setup

[peter_bungee]

Fuck me are you still seeing the same parlour girl from last December? or is it the girl from last November?

Have you got EAS on direct debit or do you pay it off in one go 

No not from last december, i did actually fall for a girl briefly last yr but nipped it in the bud very quick as she was really a bitch and stopped seeing her.  Then i didnt punt for 4/5 months

[claretandblue]

Yep single, we both are

Im not sure i would mind, as shes a loyal kind person so would realise its a job and has been treated badly in the past

I could never do it but if you are single and ok with if just ask her directly I reckon 

[tonysoprano]

No

She's a cunt.

3 fucking times and she can't find a way to return your cash. The bitch needs to be fucked off sharpish.

[Type_O_Negative]

Hi guys

Something weird has been happening recently and i haven't really given it much thought until this weekend.  I havent seen many new girls recently (a couple of 30min punts) but there is this girl i first saw in july and had a great time, then i kept seeing her every 1/2 weeks for 1hr/30min, she is genuinely the most kind hearted person iv met (yes there will be some scepticism from this forum e.g shes putting it on) but i am a good judge of character

Each appointment has involved more and more chatting and getting to know each other to the point where the last 3 meetings i havent even taken my clothes off    she has hinted at some action every time looking back but it felt natural at the time and i enjoyed chatting to her, she really opened up and told me personal shit

I have also been buying small (non pricey) gifts as i see something and think of her.  She also hinted she wants to come away with me soon (non paid) , we are a similar age and common interests. 

Im not sure how to proceed, it almost feels wrong now to initiate any intimacy as shes like a friend so i dont know what to do....do i ask her to meet outside? I don't want to make it awkward if she says no...or do i wait still for her to trust me as its been a relatively short time frame?

It happened to me as well. One very popular Polish prossie from Colindale was very friendly with me and i have to say things went a bit personal between us. After our meetings we used to have nice chats, we are from the same part of Poland. Years ago i lived in her family town for 5 years, i was in shock, we live on small world. I told her about my favourite pub in that town and it still exist. She goes there too. So it's quite possible i met her there and we crossed our looks...but many years ago so i didn't know her. It's very nice town, some Polish people call it "small Krakow".
However - in my case - i'm not interested in more than beeing proffesional with her, beeing just another client.

If you are single - go ahead and try 

Actually it's nearly two months i saw her last time. Maybe it's a time for another visit?

[Placebo88]

What ideally are you looking to come out of this?Do you want her as a platonic friend, as your post seems to suggest , or do you see her as a potential girlfriend ?

Everything you say may well be true , escorts do have feelings and can be fond of clients , but unless you take it out of a situation in which you are paying her for her time it will be impossible to determine her true motivations and desires.

So , like other have said , next time ask her if she wants to meet socially outside of work and you will know where you stand.The worst case outcome is nothing to worry about , and the present scenario of full service rates just to talk sounds like she may be taking advantage of you.

[peter_bungee]

What ideally are you looking to come out of this?Do you want her as a platonic friend, as your post seems to suggest , or do you see her as a potential girlfriend ?

Everything you say may well be true , escorts do have feelings and can be fond of clients , but unless you take it out of a situation in which you are paying her for her time it will be impossible to determine her true motivations and desires.

So , like other have said , next time ask her if she wants to meet socially outside of work and you will know where you stand.The worst case outcome is nothing to worry about , and the present scenario of full service rates just to talk sounds like she may be taking advantage of you.

I have thought about this, even imagined introducing her to my parents  but realistically hand on heart she probably isnt right for me, so would maybe like to have her as a friend, which is why fcuking her makes it weird as u dont shag or dfk friends... She hasnt directly asked me "why dont u want sex anymore" so i guess i will have to find a way to raise the point...guess its fear of rejection.

[claretandblue]

I have thought about this, even imagined introducing her to my parents  but realistically hand on heart she probably isnt right for me, so would maybe like to have her as a friend, which is why fcuking her makes it weird as u dont shag or dfk friends... She hasnt directly asked me "why dont u want sex anymore" so i guess i will have to find a way to raise the point...guess its fear of rejection.

If she is working in a parlour she is probably just glad of the rest 

[Type_O_Negative]

I have thought about this, even imagined introducing her to my parents  but realistically hand on heart she probably isnt right for me, so would maybe like to have her as a friend, which is why fcuking her makes it weird as u dont shag or dfk friends... She hasnt directly asked me "why dont u want sex anymore" so i guess i will have to find a way to raise the point...guess its fear of rejection.

So don't shag her and make this situation clear. The earlier the better. And if she would quit for you - it would be a positive thing and a hint from her.

[Grumbleguts]

Geez, looks like we need a virtual psychiatrist couch, or maybee Sir Frank as our resident agony uncle If you want a girlfriend, there are plenty of dating sites, if you want a shag, there are plenty of prossies It's like oil and water, it aint a good mix

[SirFrank]

Stop being a cunt. If you want someone to talk to get married.

[tonysoprano]

Do you have her phone number? Why don't you just ring her when she's not at work and talk like mates would?

And please don't pay her anymore money to just talk. That is just taking advantage of you.

[TomR]

I agree with Placebo88.

A similar thing happened to me in the late 90s. I had a regular escort that I met and that 'developed' into friendship
chatting sessions which I still payed for. After a while, after advice from a close mate, I suggested that we meet up socially
which we did and she still expected payment. Needless to say she got the chop after that and was a bit annoyed until I told
her that I wasn't going to be taken for a fool and then backed off.

A few years later I got to know a lady who escorted (who never charged me for chats over a coffee) and she told me that lots
of escorts dreamed of having a regular to meet for chats with payment rather than sex (easier work).

Your lady may be genuine but do take action to find out soon if she is - it will save you both money and heartache. Yes, there are many WGs out there who do want a love life and I have met one who did actually marry an ex client, but there are others who will take advantage at any opportunity.

For your own peace of mind clarify this with her asap and good luck.

[Sylvester]

+1. Agree with that.  At the moment, despite what you may think about her true intentions, what is actually happening is that she is getting very well paid to do nothing.

I'm sure she will be as nice to you as she can be to keep this going.

The test comes when you stop paying.

[DG]

Quite literally read this topic and the replies. Same issue as someone else tonight too

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=67722.0

+1

This thread covers what you're feeling about your girl. All I can add is that history is against successful escort/client relationships working. I think there will always be an element of mistrust on both sides. I have personal knowledge of such a situation and I'm afraid I thought it was doomed to failure from the start. There are always exceptions and I wish the OP all the best.

[wristjob]

Each appointment has involved more and more chatting and getting to know each other to the point where the last 3 meetings i havent even taken my clothes off 

If you are paying for it and don't get sex I daren't imagine what a relationship would be like. Ek enough of the flip, if she does see you as a friend then it is very definitely a friend and nothing more. I do think it's a strange kind of friend you have to pay to have a chat with though. Once is pushing it - 3 times, jeez you really got this all wrong.

The best thing would be to wipe her number and never see her again, but I doubt you would do that.

[squeezebox]

@OP  What you spend your dosh on is up to you during the appointment..some meets can involve no sex at all, if that's your preference. I think smiths has said this before too. However, I would throw a note of caution if you're looking for something beyond this. There are many posts on the forum where things have crashed and burned, bringing a dose of reality to the punter(s) concerned.

Yes, things could develop, however I find in any form of relationship it's best to be upfront about what you want. If it's not good news it will save time and heartache in the long run.

[Placebo88]

I have thought about this, even imagined introducing her to my parents  but realistically hand on heart she probably isnt right for me, so would maybe like to have her as a friend, which is why fcuking her makes it weird as u dont shag or dfk friends... She hasnt directly asked me "why dont u want sex anymore" so i guess i will have to find a way to raise the point...guess its fear of rejection.

You have got to be brave and just ask as you cannot be happy with the situation as it stands ; you are in a wallet draining limbo that could end up leaving you feeling very bitter.

I seriously doubt that the girl would raise the topic herself as they do say they charge for their time and her reasons for becoming an escort were obviously financial so she will not look a gift horse in the mouth , even if she is a nice person who genuinely likes you and feels a little guilty about the situation.

If you want the friendship with her to progress and know it is for real you must not be in the paying customer role.If she does say no you do not have to look at it as a complete rejection , it would not mean that she did not like you ; there are plenty of people I like and get on with in a work environment but would not be sufficiently motivated to see socially.

Finally have you ever heard of friends with benefits , this could work for you and is not as awkward as you think.If you do book her again go for it ; you can talk to her and shag her at the same time if you like!

[spkmstr48]

Stop being a cunt. If you want someone to talk to get married.

Fuck that, I hardly speak to my wife

[NickFury]

@OP your situation at least sounds more promising than mine, in that there are hints she fancies you and would leave with you? If I were in your shoes, think I would find out if I think there is a chance and go from there, but sounds like you need to decide what kind of relationship you actually want first. In my case, as much as I love to chat, I get rock hard looking at the girl and couldn't resist diving in ASAP! 

Good luck!

[vw]

Please both of you stop, it will fuck with your head.  Dating an escort will drive you insane, you will be problem gamblers or off your head on drugs with in months to block out what she is doing at work.

[Roth]

Please both of you stop, it will fuck with your head.  Dating an escort will drive you insane, you will be problem gamblers or off your head on drugs with in months to block out what she is doing at work.

+1. It can only end in tears.

[harry_aw]

I think he needs to listen to some rap music....

J-Zone - Only two places I ain't been befo' / Inside of a UFO and in love with a hoe!

[Ben4454]

He will be the very first punter in the history of punting to be friend zoned on the clock and by the wallet. 

On a serious note why on earth are you paying a prossie for premium time for just chatting? What you been smoking? 

[LL]

This place, sometimes! 
Ricky, you seem like a level-headed guy. You've been punting a while and have written lots of reviews. Just goes to show that we're all vulnerable to EAS. I think you know that you can't go on paying her just to talk to her. That's not a relationship. You're telling us about it because, deep down you want us to point out to you the ridiculousness of the whole thing.

It's make or break time. Tell her how you feel. Say you want to see her outside of work, without payment. Don't go back to see her at the parlour again - ever. If you don't hear from her again then move on as that proves she just took you for a ride.

[spkmstr48]

Pay for sex, don't pay for chat, simples

 

[SirFrank]

Fuck that, I hardly speak to my wife

You probably don't fuck her either!

[itk]

Stop being a cunt. If you want someone to talk to get married.

The perfect answer. I can't believe you're spending money to speak to a WG, she must be laughing her tits off at you.

[itk]

Stop being a cunt. If you want someone to talk to get married.

The perfect answer. I can't believe you're spending money to speak to a WG, she must be laughing her tits off at you.

[spkmstr48]

You probably don't fuck her either!

Occasionally she uses my cock to masturbate with 

 

[G.Raff]

TBH it's not that complicated.
If SHE also initiates/requests meetings AND refuses to charge you then I could consider this as a possible relationship (as mates or whatever), but even then, be aware that WGs almost by definition are fickle and can change mood at very short notice.

If on the other hand it is YOU who books/initiates/suggests meetings and she continues to expect payment, then IMO you are a fool.

[poi]

keep it professional because whatever she doing with u she may does with other guys. 

Ask her to come with u for night out and stay over for free . U will find all your answers without post anything in UKP

  good luck

[Deviant]

Poi has summed it up. Ask her to do things for free. You soon find out from their response whether the whole friendship thing is faked or not.

Whilst you are still handing money over though make sure you get naked and get your moneys worth (if she is a friend she will still respect you as this is a separate business transaction for her).

[theGOAT]

Please both of you stop, it will fuck with your head.  Dating an escort will drive you insane, you will be problem gamblers or off your head on drugs with in months to block out what she is doing at work.

+1.  Give up any hope of dating her as you would hate her working.  I cant believe people pay girls just to talk.  Try dating sites or nightclubs maybe?

Cheers! 

[daveev]

we have gone over this so many times, i'm seeing one now,and she's not even working,  you get fuck all and it cost a packet, they will never change, it's in there blood, i'm ready to knock it on the head just crap, don't get involved stay as you are, wish i had and would have had more fun and spent less grrrrr old fool and easy parted that's me

[Tony Montana]

Yup, even with a girl you can consider a friend (by these standards anyway - social time with no fee) they will still lie to you and mess you around.  It costs you time, money and sleepless nights.