Naturist Massage St.Albans

[Badvicar]

External Link/Members Only

First a quick confession. Badvicar gets hornier than a badger when he's hungover. This leads to ill advised punts with lovely ladies when not in tip top form. Usually an all too quick pop, followed by 45 mins that drag like a Sealion's ringpiece.

After being treated by a client to a Thai body to body massage a few Saturdays ago down in Acton,  I finally found an answer to my post-booze need to ooze. Lie back, get pampered and then get milked like a Friesian cow.

So, after a rather indulgent bank holiday weekend, the BV needed sating, if a bit seedy all the better. There were some references to a naturist massage on UKP but nothing concrete. Managed to find some archived reviews on an old massage site and it sounded like I'd found the right place to spread the good word.

Rang and made an apointment and confirmed I was a first time visitor. Lady said it was £60 for a massage as that was all they offered. She said to ring when I was parked for the house number. Fears of just getting a massage were alleviated.

Location was a nice house in one of the better roads in the Camp area of St.Albans.

Rocked up and door was immediately answered by the lady of the house. Showed me upto massage room, nice, clean and nice walk in shower. I requested a shower, as I had hangover balls, though still sparkly from previous punt.

Onto table and kept the towel over my arse to keep up the facade. Table doesn't have the face doughnut, which is a bonus if you are spectacle wearer. The website and previous reviews spoke about various hotties that have worked there but after 2 mins of relaxing, the lady of the house came back in starkers. 40's and not a gym body, but funnily enough it added the filth spice as she wasn't like the size 8 tattoed sluts that I seem to have a penchant for.

Chit chat and back massage ensued. Naturist beaver firmly in face. Better view than the chiropractor's whites, for sure. Been a while since I've seen pubes. Flipped over and frontal massage commenced. Air bags dangling over face and mouth.Little Vicar was rearing up a little  and she didn't hide her looking.

After a few minutes ( and some appreciative groans when she oily side swiped the sack) she was probably well assured of why I was there. Milky milky time. Popperty pop.

Shower again and downstairs to the nice middle class old man. Head down and back to the motor.

Pros
Best hangover cure
Nice clean, safe location
Did exactly what was needed
Pretty decent massage

Cons
May have been nice to have a young dirty hottie
Baby oil rather than true massage oil

As good as a Bloody Mary with tobasco as a nice pick-me-up. Would return.

[robbybox]

Hi BV. Thanks for your review. Like you I sometimes prefer just a pampering massage ... but I'm still a bit unsure of what to expect if I turned up at this venue. You mentioned 'the lady of the house' and the implication was that she's busty and curvy which is what I like ... but the web link you gave mentions several girls who seem to change daily ... and most of them a bit younger than what I'd like. So is it one lady or several? Which one is the lady of the house please? Thanks.

[Badvicar]

Hey mate, glad to be of help to someone. The lady of the house is indeed curvy and busty. I didn't get the choice , nor saw any other girls in the house when I visted. It was the lady that answered the phone that then gave the massage. I didn't ask for any girl in particular, it was the lady of house that appeared buck naked.

I got the feeling that the other girls had moved on or were only available at weekends. That was purely my hunch or supposition ,though, and reading between the lines on the somewhat lacking website. Sorry I can't be of more help.

Word of advice, there has been some new houses built on the right handside of the road as you enter. One of them shares the same door number as the massage place. So goto the one which is very quaint, halfway up not ultra modern one when they give you the door number!

[robbybox]

Thank you BV that's been really helpful. From your description and further details I'm actually rather interested to give the place a try. I'm thinking of popping along one weekday next week as an early shift at work will give me  a window of opportunity. I'll listen out for the lady of the houe ... I can usually  detect a mature lady from her dulcet tones 

[webpunter]

Best hangover cure

+1   Although going to sleep pretty much straight away afterwards isn't an option unfortunately.  Had one massage & HE experience when i popped my load after about 40 mins in an hour booking.  I couldn't be bothered to hang on any more - too tired.  She then gave me a bit of a massage & then laid her great tits on me & snuggled up.  After about half hour then i woke up & she had dozed off.  I moved a bit and she stirred.  We looked at each other and i said something along the lines of "what f*****g time is it ?  She was more concerned about when her next client was arriving.  Got the look which was - get a move on !  Happy days

[Badvicar]

Rather than start another review thread, I thought I'd update here. Visited again today for a pick me up and saw a different lady, calling herself Zoe. She was attractive,brunette, size 12 I guess, stunning natural breasts. Age I don't know, anywhere between 35-45. Much more my type, than my previous visit. She mentioned she works Mondays only, as they sound like they have a full rota again, shame they don't do more work on the website to reflect this. £60 for the massage plus a tenner for body to body. Body to body was good and she makes all the right noises. Ended with lovely oily tit wank. Bit pricey for half hour but on balance not too shabby.

[uutarn]

I really like the way you write your reviews BV  .
A different tangent from other reviews (including my own) sorta cross between mills & boon and carry on .

[Badvicar]

Thanks, I think, uutarn!

[uutarn]

Thanks, I think, uutarn!

Haha, yea sorry. It was definitely a compliment mate  .

[robbybox]

Hi BadVicar, great review, thanks again matey. Like most gentlemen of the clergy it seems behind those holy robes you lead a clandestine and exciting life, a dark horse indeed!

I still haven’t got round to making the trip to this place yet, although I did promise myself to do so. I really must deliver on my promise and visit soon.
From what you’ve described it seems possible to me that, since only massage and HE is available, the parlour tries to make up for this by having on offer a range of more mature, busty ladies with great racks over which to aim that powerful orgasm.
Although I’ve not yet been, it reminds me of a great parlour in Bushey (sadly no longer going) that was called Curves Unlimited, which catered for guys who liked to unload over a huge rack, although I believe FS was available there as well.
Two memorable ladies that used to work at Curves Unlimited were SammiCurves and Nicole40kk.
I met Sammi once there and once in MK, she was great.
SammiCurves:
External Link/Members Only

I never could manage to get a booking with Nicole at Curves Unlimited, she was always far, far too busy and fully booked, but I did manage to get to see her at her working flat in Barnet, she had the most amazing breasts, the kind that really do stop traffic and cause accidents. Would love to see her again, don’t know if she’s still working, last login to AW was September.
Nicole40kk:
External Link/Members Only

So BadVicar mate, I’m hoping you’ll build my hopes up, and say that big busty ladies and heaving breasts are available any day of the week at Naturist Massage in St. Albans, and it’s like a “Curves Unlimited” reborn.

[Badvicar]

Again, rather than re-review, I will quickly update here. I was hoping to see Zoe again on Monday but she was either prior booked or was not on rota. Had a nice massage instead from "Sue", who apparently was working there for the first time. She was a pleasant lady, mid to late 40's, blonde, size 12-14 (but who knows these days), smooth skin etc. Apparently, some kind of freelance super-sub as she there within 20 minutes of me calling. She doesn't work there on a formal basis. As she put it, she could be there all day and have no work, so remains more of a free agent.

Sue seemed to enjoy her work and was very conscious of setting mood with lighting, candles and music. Unfortunately the music in the treatment room seems to be a very quiet radio feed.

Shower before the massage, then face down on the massage table, awaiting her arrival. Sue was very friendly, in a mature, self confident  manner, rather than chatty for chatty's sake. She said she was there purely to relax me and give me pleasure. Fair enough, I responded. Naturist, as with all massage here.

Massage itself was one of the better ones I have had in terms of sensuality rather than hard or therapeutic. Nice body to body, but not climbing all over you. She's not going to work out the kinks, just relax and arouse, I think. Arousing enough that by flip over time, I was thinking this is not going to take too long. I remarked on this as she went to work on the main event, at which point she eased of and concentrated on more thigh, chest and ball stroking. She said that she wanted me to have the best time ever, so there was no rush to pop. 10 minutes more of attention ( especially balls and perineum) had me on the edge. She shifted back and finished off the job, and a pretty knee jerking ending it was. Kiss goodbye, shower again, and off home. £60 well spent for the half hour.

[Badvicar]

Again not to re-review but to update. Fridays is Maria ,a very tidy blonde, size   10 I'm thinking. Friendly and "italian", good English. Massage good but not enough credit card swiping. Best looking of the rota probably but felt slightly soulless after. 70 quid for 45mins b2b. £10 extra though for b2b, which others hadn't charged. Meh.

Then after a boozy midweek football evening, got Sophia thursday. Size 8-10, late 20's early 30's. Half Swedish half Spanish apparently. Tidy, friendly a a nice sensual massage. B2B was ok. Again 70 spondoolies +10 for 45 mins. Probably best of the bunch. Zoe, Maria and Sophia all work also at the Royston massage/sauna sister joint.

Sue the older bird (though not my type for a punt) gave th best arse and pro edging.

Overall would return to most, when hungover and just want to lay back and enjoy.

[faggins]

"Royston massage"? Such a thing exists? Grateful for link to review/details

[Badvicar]

 Well, External Link/Members Only would be it.

[robbybox]

Hi BV. Thanks for your review/update.   
For me I think Sue the 'older bird' would most likely be my cup of tea but it seems very hit & miss whether or not I would get her. She's not mentioned at all on the Royston Massage site.

[dennn]

Thanks for the review BV and very well written.

Both websites are so implicit (for obvious reasons); this reveiw helps shed some much needed light.

[Badvicar]

Further update. Visited this afternoon for first time in a couple of months, for post weekend pick me up. Monday regular Zoe , apparently has moved on, replaced by a nice black lady, Patrice I think.

Little shy at first but soon warmed and gave me nice naked twerk show. Lovely bubble butt. She's probably 30's and a 12-14. Not my full punting first choice but delivered the best b2b I've had in ages. Stick thin girls don't seem to give anywhere the same, guess they just don't get enough paint on the brush.


No half arsed b2b, full on back then front. I could only get half hour slot, as she was pretty fully booked. £60 for 30 mins and £10 for the b2b. Tenner more than I pay in London but far better experience. Back next Monday.

BV

[SaneOnes]

Thanks for all of the reviews. I have been in two minds about seeing one of these ladies when I'm in London. It's always either Ellie_12 or Soho walk-ups but I feel the need to refresh and also the location in St Albans seems to be closer to where I am, a lot closer than the other two places I go to when I'm in London! Hopefully the massage itself would be good enough. Cheers.

[Yabasseh]

Does anyone have any insight on whether the girls at the Royston massage place are similar to the ones at the Maltings in Codicote?  Eg, is it the same Jessica, Vivienne, etc?

[Badvicar]

St.albans and Royston owned by same people, codicot Is someone else I believe. But I know at least one of the st.albans rota does some work at codicot as well as Royston.

[life_wasted]

Do you know if they offer FS?

thx

[Badvicar]

Do you know if they offer FS?

thx

Yes, I know.

[Benjboy87]

In royston I normally see Vivian. A size 10 swede who is I would guess is late twenties. She gives a great body to body. I normally end up blowing my load while kissing and sacking on her Tits.

Never had full service before so not sure it's on offer...

[Big Bad R]

Anyone visited the place in Codicote ? Is it discreet ? Any Intel on the girls and service. 

[Benjboy87]

Yes I have. Most of the girls there also work in royston and St Albans.  It's in an industrial area so not discrete on the weekday.

Same price structure. 60 for half hour and 10 extra for body to body.

[life_wasted]

Yes, I know.

Hehe. I see my question was not very clear! So do they offer FS?

[life_wasted]

Yes I have. Most of the girls there also work in royston and St Albans.  It's in an industrial area so not discrete on the weekday.

Same price structure. 60 for half hour and 10 extra for body to body.

External Link/Members Only


Is that the right website? Are the pictures accurate? Thx

[Yabasseh]

Have seen Jessica, and photos are accurate. I note that her Royston pictures are on the Maltings website.

I would not expect or look for FS.

[Badvicar]

Hehe. I see my question was not very clear! So do they offer FS?

I would say zero chance of FS. As with all massage places YMMV, and discretion is always key.

[Yabasseh]

I would say zero chance of FS.

Very fair from BV

[Badvicar]

To update again, rather than re-review. Caprice, the lovely black Monday Honey has moved on. Gutted. Went for the Monday massage and whilst booking told she was gone. Replaced with one of the other regulars. Time to look elsewhere.

[Badvicar]

Royston girls seen to be covering.

[Benjboy87]

If you get to see Vivian she is great at what she does.

Had the pleasure of seeing her a couple of times. She will let you kiss her body etc. As the vicar rightly pointed out, there is no chance of sex or oral but the body to body and kissing the body etc usually leads to an explosive finish anyhow.

[Badvicar]

Royston girls seen to be covering.

Again, to continue rather than re-review. Returned today and there were two new ladies providing massage. Seemed busy enough as could only get 30 mins, on short notice, that's life. Saw Stella. Eastern European. Didn't ask where. Mediocre English, better than mediocre sensual massage. Had a lot better massage from here. But B2B was good. Size 10-12. Blonde, pleasant looking and friendly. Usual 60 + 10 for B2B. Happy enough to return. Bumped into other girl who was naked, as it's naturist. She was a bit thicker set but didn't really catch the face.

[Chorley]

Anyone visited the place in Codicote ? Is it discreet ? Any Intel on the girls and service. 

I did a recce on the way home this evening. Due to having to stay behind a bit later and traffic I arrived about 18:30. Still loads of people about and was immediately eyeballed by two blokes in nearby units.

The venue looks pretty shit TBH ( outside at least, didn't venture inside) and is overlooked by pretty much the rest of the industrial park.

It's squeezed down the back of another unit so it'd be pretty obvious what you were doing.

Obviously it may be different at weekends, but there is a car dealer there who probably works  Sat/Sun possibly. 

I may check it out again on Saturday, but to me it's not discreet at all. 

[Badvicar]

Industrial park? Are you at the other place? The thread is St.Albans.

[Chorley]

I was replying to Big Bad R's message about the level of discretion at the Codicote site.

He asked and I gave my observations. 

[Badvicar]

Well, never been to Codicote site. Start a new thread, there will be interest.

[Billy no mates]

There is a thread I started ages ago for the Codicote site, it truly is an awful place

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=140804.msg1558096#msg1558096

[Badvicar]

Again to not start a new thread. Had 45 mins with Gemma today. £85 in total. Nice massage and nice HE. Size 12 i'd guess, late 40's i'd say being generous. Great front bumpers and nice lady. Talks dirty, has obviously been in and out for last few years. Working today with Maria, who was hot as hot. Would have to maybe give her a try next visit. But if an EE looks hot, no warrenty or guarantee.





Sorted the hangover.

[RAJEC]

Anyone been recently and seen English holly or the Brazilian bird?

If there’s any positives on these 2, may swing by today!

[Badvicar]

Anyone been recently and seen English holly or the Brazilian bird?

If there’s any positives on these 2, may swing by today!

No idea who they are. But to update, rather than re review, new lady on Monday. Alysia. Bulgarian, apparently. Limited English, but very lovely. Size 6-8 i'd guess, not an ounce of fat and the peacheist peach ever. No touching the undercarriage and no body to body, but actually the £75 for 45 minutes didn't need the extra tenner for b2b. 20 mins of superb edging after the flip.

Thoroughly good relax and company. Very pretty. Obvious boundaries but in top 10 of all massages. Sort of if you had insanely fit girlfriend that gave you a sensual massage with HE. She said she wasn't strong enough to give a deep massage to a big fella, but gave it a go. Will return.

[Badvicar]

As to not re-review, the ususl update.

Friday last month had a massage from  nice Brazilian lady. Very pleasent   attractive and nice massage. Body to body 45 mins .Left happy. Would see sgain. Works well with Maria, for a four hand  90 for 30 mins,she says . Always concerned if they don't gel, it will be less relaxing. Will see.

Holly and Veronica (?) are Tuesdays now. Had massage from Holly. Huge plus point of being able to chat shit in English and not the EE or Thai small talk. Good massage, both medicinal and relaxing. £75 for 45 mins. If cash jobs pick up  will return. Found her very pretty on the turn over  and great front bumpers. Asked if four hand was available, with veronica. Again 90 for 30 mins.

Will update as and when.

[Metalgear2018]

Good reviews. I'm from st Albans so I will pay a visit this weekend. I have never had a massage and I'm 30 years old

[magstew]

This operation has trained a few other ladies- Katie in Luton (separate thread) originally started here, so properly trained, and I think gives better vfm. Does mean going to Luton rather than St Albans.

[Badvicar]

This operation has trained a few other ladies- Katie in Luton (separate thread) originally started here, so properly trained, and I think gives better vfm. Does mean going to Luton rather than St Albans.

Fuck off tout.

[bobby1973]

mr bv
have they stopped working at weekends
they never answer their phones any more

[Badvicar]

mr bv
have they stopped working at weekends
they never answer their phones any more

I have no idea if the lady's at st.albans naturist massage work at weekends.  It's one phone number,  no mobiles, guessing your thinking of somewhere else or just stupid?

[Hertsguy91]

Wondered if anyone knows if this place is still going?

[Billy no mates]

Wondered if anyone knows if this place is still going?

Would it not have been simpler to call and ask them yourself rather than resurrect a three year old thread ?