First a quick confession. Badvicar gets hornier than a badger when he's hungover. This leads to ill advised punts with lovely ladies when not in tip top form. Usually an all too quick pop, followed by 45 mins that drag like a Sealion's ringpiece.
After being treated by a client to a Thai body to body massage a few Saturdays ago down in Acton, I finally found an answer to my post-booze need to ooze. Lie back, get pampered and then get milked like a Friesian cow.
So, after a rather indulgent bank holiday weekend, the BV needed sating, if a bit seedy all the better. There were some references to a naturist massage on UKP but nothing concrete. Managed to find some archived reviews on an old massage site and it sounded like I'd found the right place to spread the good word.
Rang and made an apointment and confirmed I was a first time visitor. Lady said it was £60 for a massage as that was all they offered. She said to ring when I was parked for the house number. Fears of just getting a massage were alleviated.Location
was a nice house in one of the better roads in the Camp area of St.Albans.
Rocked up and door was immediately answered by the lady of the house. Showed me upto massage room, nice, clean and nice walk in shower. I requested a shower, as I had hangover balls, though still sparkly from previous punt.
Onto table and kept the towel over my arse to keep up the facade. Table doesn't have the face doughnut, which is a bonus if you are spectacle wearer. The website and previous reviews spoke about various hotties that have worked there but after 2 mins of relaxing, the lady of the house came back in starkers. 40's and not a gym body, but funnily enough it added the filth spice as she wasn't like the size 8 tattoed sluts that I seem to have a penchant for.
Chit chat and back massage ensued. Naturist beaver firmly in face. Better view than the chiropractor's whites, for sure. Been a while since I've seen pubes. Flipped over and frontal massage commenced. Air bags dangling over face and mouth.Little Vicar was rearing up a little and she didn't hide her looking.
After a few minutes ( and some appreciative groans when she oily side swiped the sack) she was probably well assured of why I was there. Milky milky time. Popperty pop.
Shower again and downstairs to the nice middle class old man. Head down and back to the motor.Pros
Best hangover cure
Nice clean, safe location
Did exactly what was needed
Pretty decent massageCons
May have been nice to have a young dirty hottie
Baby oil rather than true massage oil
As good as a Bloody Mary with tobasco as a nice pick-me-up. Would return.