The problem is that the original review is very brief and contains many subjective statements without giving enough objective detail as to what went on to back up these statements. I'm not doubting that the OP feels how he did, but he knew he would be rattling the cages of Michelle's many fans, so the brevity of the review almost seems deliberately provocative.
With regards to Michelle's service being "vanilla", some members who may not have seen her seem to think that this is a criticism. It simply refers to the fact that her services are quite limited when compared with some of the other UKP Darlings. It doesn't mean that they are delivered in a cold and detached manner, in fact it is the feeling that Michelle is giving as much as she can of herself to you during the punt that makes her so popular. Yes services anal and CIM are not on offer, but for me that's no problem as I don't usually take those services with those who provide them anyway.
OP, had a shit time, fair enough, as has been said I don't suppose it is going to make a dent in Michelle's popularity. But equally you can understand members who have had quite a different experience making their point.
If you are a Pink Floyd fan and someone came on to a forum pointing out how shit and pretentious their music was I think you might well feel the need to respond and argue the opposite because you feel strongly that their opinion is wrong. If it happens on here there are mutterings of Fluffy or White Knight. This seems more than a little unfair.