30 Mins incall @ £60https://www.adultwork.com/2799928
TL;DR - Mediocre
(often derogatory) average or ordinary in quality ⇒ a mediocre book
= second-rate, average, ordinary, indifferent, middling, pedestrian, inferior, commonplace, vanilla,insignificant, so-so, banal, tolerable, run-of-the-mill, passable, undistinguished, uninspired, bog-standard, no great shakes, half-pie, fair to middling, meh,
-Collins English Dictionary
This review would have been a straight negative but for the fact that this place is a parlour with various girl’s working different shifts.
Location - Safe, directly opposite Liverpool St station. Nondescript door, may feel conspicuous but unlikely you’d get rumbled unless by another punter who knew the place. Very clean flat with proper massage table next to the bed.
Comms - efficient and straightforward, initial contact made by text, final details (flat number, etc.) arranged by phone when I arrived in the area. No waiting around. Up the stairs to be met by a mid 20’s slim attractive thai girl, nicely presented in a tight top, short skirt, high heels and a big smile.
WG - Slim, a few tattoo’s, about 5’ 4”, nice handful natural breasts
To best convey the following sequence of events I shall recount them in the first person:
Kefcseries: Hi there!
WG: Hi! How long you want?
Kefcseries: Well, what’s available?
WG: Can you cum by handjob? You have big dick and it might hurt with sex..
Kefcseries: (Eyes popping out of head) Big dick? What big dick?!
To clarify, I had just stepped into the flat and had not yet taken a single item of clothing off. Incredible. Words failed me. I got the impression she would have backed down had I pressed the issue but I didn’t relish the idea of mediocre
, unwilling “starfish” sex, so opted for 30 mins massage and HJ.
Small talk during the mediocre
oily back massage revealed her name to be something beginning with L (Lucy? Linda? Can’t remember) and which days she works (days to avoid). Finally flipped onto my back and the last glimmer of hope that all would end well. Started off okay but eventually deteriorated into a race to make me cum. Final nail in the coffin was when she sensed she wasn’t hitting the spot and invited me to wank myself off to finish.
Get to fuck.
I didn’t just pay £60 to lay on your bed and wank myself off, I could have done that at home for free (I didn’t actually say that but it was on the tip of my tongue). Concentrated hard and eventually managed to pop from the mediocre
HJ. She jumped off the bed and unceremoniously dumped a tissue and a box of wet wipes next to me to clean myself up as she got dressed. Despite the smiley face and pleasant happy chatter I got the impression that this was a girl at the end of her shift who just could not be arsed. I may return to find out what else this place has to offer but I know which girl I'll be avoiding if I do.