I always try to remember to give the money first, to show I'm a "gentleman". At my first 3some with Adele and LilyHart I was so blown away (pun intended) by the opening minutes that I completely forgot, and had to be gently reminded by Lily that we hadn't er sorted out the "
paperwork" yet.
That said, the best ever punts are where it's forgotten about, until either after the first orgams or, better yet, at the very end.
But the default position, rightly, is obviously pay before play.