When she opened the bedroom door the first disappointment was that she wasn't dressed as requested. Instead of lingerie and stockings she was in an especially ugly onesie.
I should probably have given up then.
She unzipped her onesie revealing an acceptable pair of breasts but down below was a tangled mess resembling a mangrove swamp, damp looking, seriously overgrown and generally uninviting.
I should probably have given up then, especially as I had forgotten my machete.
But I ventured forth and tried to work my way through the knotted mass with my tongue, but to no avail.
I should probably have given up then, especially as I had forgotten to sharpen my penis for the ordeal ahead.
I asked her to position herself for doggy style and, if anything, the sight was even worse. Hair sprouting from her crack and hanging down towards the bed like a pubic goatee beard.
I gave up.
Why on earth won't she just tidy herself up a little, unless it is to deliberately put me off!