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Author Topic: Review your OH.  (Read 14256 times)

Offline Tiger63

Well well....had a quick shag in the shower last night with Mrs Tiger.....
Today she tells me to get a hotel booked for our anniversary next week.
She`s also just spent nearly £150 on...erm....outfits.
 :yahoo: :yahoo:

password02

  • Guest
Well well....had a quick shag in the shower last night with Mrs Tiger.....
Today she tells me to get a hotel booked for our anniversary next week.
She`s also just spent nearly £150 on...erm....outfits.
 :yahoo: :yahoo:

Review to follow?

JupitersBurning

  • Guest
I'm single, but I can say my of my last GF that we no longer talk and I'm very happy not having her or her constant BS in my life.

Offline wheeliebinwanking

I'm single, but I can say my of my last GF that we no longer talk and I'm very happy not having her or her constant BS in my life.

This thread is for reviewing your OH like a WG, not as a real human being with feelings . . .  :lol:

JupitersBurning

  • Guest
This thread is for reviewing your OH like a WG, not as a real human being with feelings . . .  :lol:

Lol I know. Okay.

After sorting out the paperwork i.e. trying to explain we don't have to do everything with her fucking sister and having to aplogise to said sister...sorry I mean flatmate because she walked in on a private conversation, I go for a shower and discover the WG has gone and told her mum...sorry pimp of our plans and that she doesn't want to do it. So we arrange to just focus on her because doing anything to me would be unfair on people who aren't there. I feel like it's the longest bait and switch ever.

After the imaginary BJ i.e. "Scratching your back is apparently the height of sex" the WG gets a phone call from her last punter who keeps joking that he loves her or maybe not. I get fed up and argue. The WG cries because I ask her to be reasonable and I give her a negative review.

Bitch.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2015, 07:56:42 pm by JupitersBurning »

knight5648

  • Guest
Bloody hell Jupiter. I wasn't sure whether to hand you a beer or the number of the Samaritans.
WTF is the back scratching all about though? Did she read some chick porn book which said 'blokes like it when you tear the fuck out of their backs with your nails' or something?

JupitersBurning

  • Guest
Bloody hell Jupiter. I wasn't sure whether to hand you a beer or the number of the Samaritans.
WTF is the back scratching all about though? Did she read some chick porn book which said 'blokes like it when you tear the fuck out of their backs with your nails' or something?

Well it was more rubbing my back. I would've preferred rubbing my junk but she viewed doing that as being being unfair on her sister etc. Ha ha, I'd prefer scotch on the rocks to a beer.

vt

  • Guest
I would've preferred rubbing my junk but she viewed doing that as being being unfair on her sister etc.

There's some bizarre female logic going on there!  :wackogirl:

But I don't suppose a suggestion for her sister to join in so she didn't feel left out would have gone down too well, would it?!?  :D

Quesadilla

  • Guest
Hilarious thread. At the risk of annoying a few people with my smug review, I’ll try to make it humorous. Anyway my OH is the reason why my punting has all but stopped in recent months.

Pros

Gorgeous, funny, and very adventurous, much younger, more attractive, and almost infinitely less hairy than I. Up for just about anything. Services include DFK, OWO incl. DT, HJ, RO, fingering, extensive use of various toys, protected sex in multiple positions, anal, CIM, extensive use of toys, some BDSM, exhibitionism, swinging, open to the possibility of a bi- threesome with a WG or civvies, pictures, filming and plenty more. Wants to ‘corrupt’ others. Being a fluffy, on top of all that she’s great to get on with, plenty of shared interests, healthy outlook on life and sex

Neutrals
None

Cons
 - Pain in the arse to get her out of bed and to go to work in the morning
 - When sleeping adopts a starfish position attempting to push me out of bed
 - Messy
 - So much shit when she moved in, leading to spending a small fortune in IKEA to store it all
 - Having to do all the DIY for the aforementioned IKEA shit
 - Poor comms
 - Unhealthy obsession with Channing Tatum
 - Really fucking expensive taste in ham

In summary I’ll use King Tarzan’s scoring categories

ATTITUDE 10/10
GFE SERVICES 10/10
PHYSICAL CONSTRUCTION 10/10

Treat her well guys

+1!!!  If I didn't know better d00fer I'd say we were talking about the same GF!!!  An awful lot of similarities - switch Channing Tatum for Johnny Depp and you're getting towards 90%. ;) 

Oh and one negative - at least as far as most guys on here are concerned - mine's a barebacker - with me anyhow!  :yahoo:  :drinks:

JupitersBurning

  • Guest
There's some bizarre female logic going on there!  :wackogirl:

But I don't suppose a suggestion for her sister to join in so she didn't feel left out would have gone down too well, would it?!?  :D

I dunno I suspect making that suggestion or indeed airing my grievances would've earned me an afternoon on the hobbling wheel. Boobs do weird things to a guy  :wacko:

Offline wheeliebinwanking

I dunno I suspect making that suggestion or indeed airing my grievances would've earned me an afternoon on the hobbling wheel. Boobs do weird things to a guy  :wacko:

Loved your full report Jupiter. I have OH sister issues myself, but they don't seem as bad as yours.

LOL @ Pimp (her Mum!) :lol: :lol:

theGOAT

  • Guest
She's been my Regular girl for years, but for some strange reason keeps cancelling dates - headache, kids in the house, aching hip, etc.

Used to have a long "Likes List" but for some unknown reason reduced dramatically when she got married.

Bit risky as likes "bareback"??

But for some strange reason she will always be my no.1 girl - better tits at 50, better kisser, and gets wetter than any other WG I've ever met.

Cheers!  :drinks:

Offline wheeliebinwanking

She's been my Regular girl for years, but for some strange reason keeps cancelling dates - headache, kids in the house, aching hip, etc.

Used to have a long "Likes List" but for some unknown reason reduced dramatically when she got married.

Bit risky as likes "bareback"??

But for some strange reason she will always be my no.1 girl - better tits at 50, better kisser, and gets wetter than any other WG I've ever met.

Cheers!  :drinks:

awwwww

Offline Tiger63

Review to follow?
Certainly.

Checked into very nice hotel in Durham. Got massive brownie points by upgrading to a suite and having Champagne in the room on arrival.
Knew I was in  as she wandered about the room in just her new red underwear.
I suggest thet she might like to join me in a shower before we go out and she is happy with that.
Lots of DFK then a sloppy owo to completion...she`s never swallowed so jerks me off over her tits.
Round 2 takes place about 6 hours later after various cocktails and some tapas.
We had another bottle of Champagne delivered to the room and she is well up for fun.
Starts with slow HJ and then climbs aboard the good ship Tiger63`s flagpole.
Boy she is enthusiastic and gives me a great ride.
Finish of with Mish and empty myself all over her stomach and some on her tits.
Still lying on the bed we have another glass of bubbles and I start to rub her clit and get a good responce so go for it.
She is absolutley gushing and has a real bed shaking orgasm.
Iam feeling well pleased and a bit pissed so some more champagne is ordered.
We are like a couple of teenagers having a good laugh and enjoying each others company again.
The door goes and its the Champagne....Ive put robe on and answer...unaware that there is a mirror at the entrance to the room that you can see the bed from......so the guy who has the Champange for us gets an eye full of Mrs T lying on the bed with nowt on.
So after a couple more glasses thats it for the night and its sleep time.

All in all a great punt, bit pricey(£425) but probably worth it as signs are Mrs T is getting more and more up for fun.
Another hotel is booked for this coming weekend so we will see what happens.

Thank you

Offline threechilliman

....so the guy who has the Champange for us gets an eye full of Mrs T lying on the bed with nowt on.

And you didn't invite him to join you for an MMF? With the Mrs pissed, she might just have considered it!

tcm

Offline Tiger63

And you didn't invite him to join you for an MMF? With the Mrs pissed, she might just have considered it!

tcm

Absolutely not.

Had it been Hannah the cute barmaid then I`ll have been well up for it

Hatcher

  • Guest
When I entered the room she was naked lying on the bed waiting for me. She had the same expression of mild surprise on her face and the usual lack of response when I complemented her on her appearance. I stripped off and climbed on next to her, slipped my finger in and, finding her a bit dry, applied some KY from the tube on the bedside table. She squealed softly as I pushed apart her firm thighs and eased my cock inside her and started to thrust. "I wish you would do doggy" I said, but she just lay there. Never mind, I thought, she's better than nothing and cheaper than a parlour girl. I shot my load inside her - yes it was bareback - and reminding myself to give her a good bath before I fucked her again, I pulled out her plug, rolled her up and stashed her back in the usual hiding place on top of the wardrobe.


Online Blackpool Rock


All in all a great punt, bit pricey(£425) but probably worth it as signs are Mrs T is getting more and more up for fun.
Another hotel is booked for this coming weekend so we will see what happens.

Thank you
£425 for an overnighter including Bareback and Champagne and you think it's pricey?  :cool:

Offline Tiger63

£425 for an overnighter including Bareback and Champagne and you think it's pricey?  :cool:
HAHA mate.....it`ll be more this weekend.....£250 for the room alone....but get this.....its an old brothel!!!!!

Online Blackpool Rock

HAHA mate.....it`ll be more this weekend.....£250 for the room alone....but get this.....its an old brothel!!!!!
Nice, perhaps you could have a laugh and persuade her to do a prossie / punter roleplay or pretend to be her pimp getting a free one  :thumbsup:

Offline Lilywhite

  • Service Provider
  • Posts: 573
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Overnight punt.

He was clearly drunk when I arrived at the venue, some shite pub near Blair Street. Was not alone, and I suspected other members of the group (late 20's, hygiene poor all around, one looked like a Fat John Lennon) were trying to tout themselves to annoyed looking women around the bar.

Get home, lots of attempted DFK but there was a stench of beer, which was offputting. Asked him to freshen up. Instead Fifa went on.

Through to the bedroom. No sex on offer as "Too much Sniff" apparently. Not impressed. Setted for some sloppy rimming and inane chatter.


Next morning was a bit more successful, but there were severe hygiene issues, and total lack of stamina.

Looks- 7/10 Overweight Orlando Bloom lookalike.
Size- about 1 inch when flaccid. 5 or so when hard 3/10
Personality- Annoying as fuck. Crap lapdance and strip tease. Makes up with humour.

Cost- about £30 to get him home. £25 to clean toilet which had a wine glass dropped into it, blocked it, then had him shit on it and flood my bathroom.

I wouldn't book again but I have a feeling he'll turn up anyway with a sob story, I must have EAS.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2015, 03:36:59 pm by Lilywhite »

johnnyboy61

  • Guest
Well we weren't expecting that on this thread! Makes for amusing reading and thank you for giving us the view from "the other side". Good posting.

Online Blackpool Rock

Well we weren't expecting that on this thread! Makes for amusing reading and thank you for giving us the view from "the other side". Good posting.
Yeah Touché, next thing she will be paying for sex  :drinks:

yorkshire123

  • Guest
Well we weren't expecting that on this thread! Makes for amusing reading and thank you for giving us the view from "the other side". Good posting.

Yes very good read however I feel for the guy as it sounds like he had already emptied his love spuds elsewhere earlier that evening.
You girls need to remember we are not machines  :(

Offline Lilywhite

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  • Posts: 573
  • Likes: 9
Yes very good read however I feel for the guy as it sounds like he had already emptied his love spuds elsewhere earlier that evening.
You girls need to remember we are not machines  :(

I wish. I think if he had her name was 'Charlie'...

Quesadilla

  • Guest
I wish. I think if he had her name was 'Charlie'...

 :lol: :lol:

Great review - one of the best I've read in a while!   :hi:

Marmite

  • Guest
I wish. I think if he had her name was 'Charlie'...

The clue was there, more than hygiene to get sniffy about.


Timmy2

  • Guest
Mrs Raddy - Leicester NEUTRAL
Coffee made Sunday morning, I was asked if I was bringing into the bedroom, that is code for shall we have a shag  :cool:
Doxy out and ready and cock ring fitted. No kissing so down to a Neutral straight away, bless her she had a slight issue down below in the bum area so no finger play, bordering on Negative now, I need something to get me going, having been mega turned on recently by good looking younger girls.
No OWO offered so RO only, I gave it a good go, but missed the anal play massively, doxy on the clit and she managed a powerful orgasm.  Into the doggy position I attempted, but was suffering from the lack of foreplay, I was ready to give up when she turned around and started to deep throat me taking all her juices  :yahoo: now she didn't do this in her prime (when she was a "babe" and she was) back hard as nails I started to pound away doggy for a bit, but my brain was saying boundary pusher, I went back for some more deep oral, which she delivered excellently, I needed to get on the bed and enjoy what was on offer, she started to spit on my cock and go reasonably deep, when I remembered Mandy and what we did, so I said take it in your mouth and then kiss me and we can both SWALLOW   :vomit: (brains tell you strange things when you are close to coming)  I was close and opened my eyes to see that she was finishing me off with her hand.  :(
Shot my load and she leaned over to deposit it in my mouth.... having non off that... bog off I said.
Cleaned up and asked her what the F*ck was that all about, just got a smile... oh well if only it was like that all the time....

But overall good punt, and she helped me in the garden after breakfast
Doesn't deserve a Positive but a very good Neutral  :drinks:
Cheers
Raddy

normal_guy

  • Guest
Mrs NG

Venue: my house. Cost: £200 shopping money for her week visiting family. Service agreed: overnight

Wasn't in the mood. Said paying for time so no refund.

0/10

Grumbleguts

  • Guest
Secks with the missus, been so long now, forgotten how to do it, and spell it :( :( :hi:

np500

  • Guest
Living the life or what guys ! If I was getting that much sex at home I would never have turned to punting, hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I do thank my oh ( mentally ) for the total lack of sex in our cohabitation , because I owe all the great sex with girls younger than my daughters, older than my wife, the 3 sums , the anal sex, the cim, cof, gagging, ball sucking,  the sheer sexual thrills I've experienced over the last 10 months , I owe all this to my loyal oh, without her attitude and warped view of sex in general, none of this could have been possible. So in a funny way I thank her for giving me the best sex I've ever had in my life .

harry_aw

  • Guest
Location London - price My entire bank account (s).

Physical :

5'5 size 8 brunette. High cheekbones, frowny eyes. 34 DD natural breasts, round bum but squarish hips. I don't normally get the opportunity to see some this exclusive so let's just say it was my lucky day.

Services :

Ro

Details:

I was greeted by a natural beauty laying on my bed, you know the type that doesn't need to make an effort to look hot. Dressed in sexy strippy pyjamas with pink Elle macpherson panties. No bra, no problem.

I began by stroking and kissing her large breasts...she was cold so left her clothes on. I can't tell you how sucking breasts through 60% cotton feels, you just have to believe me when I say it was something I have never experienced before.
After a while I got her in the mood and began to make my way down where I must have done cunilingus for a good 30 mins mixed with a finger or two. Finally I made her cum!
She then rolled over and said sort yourself out.

For such high prices I expected the full hour...but I'm such a regular with her now I think I have EAS!



« Last Edit: September 13, 2015, 08:40:01 am by harry_aw »

vw

  • Guest
Living the life or what guys ! If I was getting that much sex at home I would never have turned to punting, hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I do thank my oh ( mentally ) for the total lack of sex in our cohabitation , because I owe all the great sex with girls younger than my daughters, older than my wife, the 3 sums , the anal sex, the cim, cof, gagging, ball sucking,  the sheer sexual thrills I've experienced over the last 10 months , I owe all this to my loyal oh, without her attitude and warped view of sex in general, none of this could have been possible. So in a funny way I thank her for giving me the best sex I've ever had in my life .
Everything happens for a reason !