Fuck, got separated today with my wife

[PonyZ]

had nothing to do with my secrete punting. I protected it well. She refused sex for months and we had conflicts due to personalities. The only thing I feel guilty is my little son...

Fuck....

[np500]

Sorry to hear that mate, so long as it's not down to punting. If punting finished my marriage off I'd lose more than the house, my name would be shit, could never Evan look ex wife in the eye, all arguments would be a lost cause coz seeing prostitutes would always be brought up straight away, my daughters would hate me, I'd end up in a worse flat than half I've visited,  fuck the list goes on. If there's any one out there with any positive's let us know just incase the shit should ever hit the fan !

[PonyZ]

Thanks, mate for your words. I didn't get separated because of punting. Quite reversely, I go punting because my wife refuses sex due to her health/personality problem.

I am so unlucky mate. Hope you enjoy both parts of your life, as a punter and a husband/dad.

[np500]

My girls are in there 20's and working etc, very proud . Marriage ? I punt !

[Corus Boy]

Sounds like bad news but keep you head straight.

I there is a messy divorce settlement on the horizon, your conduct between now and then could be held against you.

[np500]

Your right cb, basically what I was saying, no one, but no one  ( out side of people like us) will ever see why we do it, walk a mile in my shoes and you'll see plain as day why, but people are so judgmental with things like this, if you're wife used it ( punting) as a reason for the split you are 100% fucked, there is no debate , no black and white. It must not come to light.

[Gigiddy]

Corus is right, look squeeky clean, she and her mates will be investigating.

Though TBH she seems to have made her decision a long time ago.

1/3 of fathers lose contact with their children within 2 years of divorce.

Dont let it happen to you. Your son needs you.

Get support we men have no idea how vicious and vindictive women can be until we have been through a nasty divorce. However there is life the other side

Families need fathers are a good start

 External Link/Members Only

[PonyZ]

Thank you all for your advice. Yes, I will keep clean. Not in a mood for punting anyway. My son is just 13 months. I really love him, so I really need him more than he needs me.

He is such a lovely angel that keeps me for putting up with the mother or so long. Now that we are separated, the only thing I pity about is the what my poor boy may face in the future.

FUCK!!!!!!!!

[Gigiddy]

Is she going through post natal depression ?
That kicks in a week or two after the baby is born ?
 It can be totally irrational like she is in another reality and there is fk all you can do about it?
Are you living in the same house?
 IF so remove the objects /credit cards etc that the mean the most to you to a safe place
If you have a join bank account set up a seperate abnk account and remove as much money from the old one as possible and have money going into the new one.

Spend as much time as you can with your son.
The first two years of his life are the most important for his development.
record how long you spend with him
keep recipes of all the food you buy for the house and for him.

[np500]

Never had to deal with that shit, I feel for you. But I will say my brother spit when his boys were young, about 3 and 7 ish but he stuck in there and has them at his place all weekends and loads of holidays etc, he now has a 1 year old with a woman a fair bit younger than him, he's 50, so what ever shit she throws at you, stick in there for your boy, things will look so much better before you know it, life will move on and before you know it this will be the best option for you. You can not live your life like this, it's hard but just be positive and you will come out for the better, good luck m8.

[squeezebox]

Thank you all for your advice. Yes, I will keep clean. Not in a mood for punting anyway. My son is just 13 months. I really love him, so I really need him more than he needs me.

He is such a lovely angel that keeps me for putting up with the mother or so long. Now that we are separated, the only thing I pity about is the what my poor boy may face in the future.

FUCK!!!!!!!!

It's all a little raw now and will continue to be for a while. If the parting was fairly amicable, even though there may have been tension/arguments before the split, then access to the boy should be straight forward.

Make sure you set up child maintenance payments and calculate what you should be paying.
External Link/Members Only  A private arrangement would be a better option as the CMA will be deducting a % in the future for new arrangements done through their payment system.

Even if you are on JSA/Claimant commitment, you need to pay at least £5 a week.

Hope you get a resolution to this in some way. If you try again, get marriage counselling as both parties must take some form of responsibility for their actions.

If you permanently split, your son can still have a good upbringing, as you are doing your best for him not your ex-spouse.

[maximus1975]

Here is a good www site to give you info in the divorce side of things.

Good luck to you.

External Link/Members Only

[Corus Boy]

Here is a good www site to give you info in the divorce side of things.

Good luck to you.

External Link/Members Only

Best advice;

Do it amicably!!!!!

My mate spent £5000 arguing over a £500 car!

[np500]

And never be afraid to ask for advice, looks like there are guys on here that can point you in the right direction, good luck.

[cognito]

I really feel for you mate. I know exactly how you feel. I have two kids that I can't bear to lose so I put up with living in a very unhappy and argumentative marriage. The stress affects my work and my social life has gone down the drain. I don't have any friends left who are close enough for me to talk to about the living hell that my life has become. I have come close to walking out several times but when my toddlers come running up to me and throw their arms around me screaming daddy, my resolve breaks down. I can't bear the thought of them asking why isn't daddy coming back home?

As cruel as it sounds, you are in a way lucky you are making a clean break while your son is still too young to ask difficult questions or even realise what a major change is taking place. I hope things go well for both you and your son.

[pork sword]

Sorry guys but we are all liers, cheats, and single people on here who visit working girls for SEX if your personal relationships have crumbled I suggest you contact marriage guidance or the Samaritan's for advice or a mate's shoulder to cry on! All we want to talk about on here is the best W G to get laid with and how good their services are ! Honestly is a bitch .....

[np500]

Know what your saying there but I do believe I have never lied to my wife, ( but I know she  will not see it the same way ) she withdrew sex due to her state of mind and attitude, our relationship then changed in to a non sexual relationship ( not my choice ) yet I still wanted sex, arguments ( due to frustration and bitterness ) wer frequent , while watching loads of porn to satisfy ones wants vista street pop ups kept popping up on my computer, after about another year of bad relations at home we had a massive row, and in my red mist moment rang a number and polish voice answers and 24 hours later I'm shaging fuck out of this little life saver in Newport, near the auction place, a load of punts on and due to there being no conflict in our sex life now due to my punting our marriage is much better, but our kids have grown up ( in 20''s and working ) so luckily I can afford to punt within reason, am I cheating, I don't think so, just having some fun, that she denies me,  do I lie, never spoken to my wife ( obviously ) about my punting so how can I have lied ? I do lead a life apart of my normal life, I do have to be two different people that don't know each other but have to work together to make time and space for those hours when the real me does't exist for a while. So what I'm saying is , it's all her falt and if she was half the wife she thinks she is I wouldn't be here now.

[John333]

Hi PonyZ,

I feel for you mate, it's never a good scenario. I found myself in the same sort of place 9 years ago but my girls were teenagers, so a different set of challenges, but they've turned out okay and Ive recently re-married. Ironically I have now married the women of my dreams, other than the fact that sex ended 6 months in, for many reasons, but battle on I will as everything else is perfect, just won't be giving up punting just yet.

Best of luck and avoid drinking!

John.

My little piece of advice, is to keep your pecker up as things will get better and you will find better one day.

[azrael]

Im truely sorry for the predicament you find yourself in, but as most of the brothers have said, hang in there for the children's sake

[PonyZ]

Im truely sorry for the predicament you find yourself in, but as most of the brothers have said, hang in there for the children's sake

Yes, indeed, I have bent my knees and beg her to come back with my son. Now I accepted that I won't have sex with her--cannot bear her cold attitude (my god, even worse than the Romanians!!!!!). I will solve my sexual urge by escorts, but will hang in there just for my son's sake.

Man, a wrong marriage is the worst decision one could ever make, and the worst investment you could ever put your money and time in. £60 pounds can give you whatever you would like the best wife in the world to give you, and you don't have to pay anything more than that!!!

[expert69man4u]

I sympathise with you = when wife / partner is = no longer interested or able to enjoy sex !!

see External Link/Members Only

[mikeyboy1984]

I got into punting because of a similar thing ( wife never puts out and is a miserable bastard ) 31 and want sex more than once every couple of months, who's have thought it? Hope you can work things out and if not there are no silly games with regards to access. Best of luck

[temudjin]

Dont beat yourself up about the kid too much mate. Sometimes splitting up creates a better environment for him. He can either have 2 separate HAPPY parents who love him very much, or 2 bitter arguing parents in a toxic relationship. I know its not ideal but in the long run things dont go away or magically get better.

The main thing as everyone has said is stay civil and amicable. She may be a cold bastard, she may even lash out and be a downright cunt. But she is your childs mother and like it or not you need to have some sort of relationship with her for your kids sake. It is better for everyone involved if you get along.

[jimmytick]

Cut her off financially so she turns to whoring, we can all leave her bad reviews then