Sonny red, you must separate punting from the rest of your life all together , the two do not and must not cross, I see you are struggling with the emotions that these things bring. We all have the same thoughts but different people deal with this hobby in different ways. I'm married with grown up children,sex life none existent , obviously thay must not know what I do so I treat it as my pleasure time because if I never did this I'd die well pissed off and you only get one life so I feel no guilt, plus I'd be a miserable twat all the time so my marriage would probably have come to an end anyway, so as long as I don't get found out this hobby has saved my marriage as I'm not miserable and sex never gets mentiond so there's no problem there either. Happy days, it's a state of mined you just have to convince your self that your just having some fun and helping these girls out at the same time , it never pays to over analyse anything of this type, just enjoy it while you can.