Artemis FKK – Berlin - My Log

[FlyingBreadMan]

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I went to Artemis yesterday and thought it would be useful to log my experience so that others would be prepared. I pretty much went in no know whether it would be like entering a classy casino or a hectic market in Morocco. Here it is:

Logistics:
I got there just before 10pm. I took a cab there from Alexander Platz (the big spike thing in the middle of the city) and it cost approx. 20 Euros. The cab back was the same, but there are busses too. Approx 30mins both ways. Unlike Bucharest the cabs are better controlled but always check for Taxi sign, and do not go up to idiots calling out “Taxi?”

Entry:
I entered the reception and was read a script along the lines of welcome, been here before? Showers over there, lockers there, drinks and food free, alcohol you need to buy a ticket (I did not take it).
I paid 80-euros and was given 2 wrist bands, one to identify I was a paying customer and the other with a key that opens a small and big locker – hold valuables in the small and clothes in the big.
As I walked up I saw guys sporting brown Jedi like robes – some go commando, others wear boxers underneath.
Upstairs is where the action takes place and downstairs has cinema, swimming pool, massage places, other rooms for action.
Most of the girls seem to stick around the main bar area which is smokers paradise, and beyond this is the canteen (free food) and a outside court yard.

Ambience:
Some people call it paradise, but in a more sober and realistic way I would describe it as a large club with music and lots of Jedi’s (guys) and stunning women.
The night I went was “not busy” , at least according to some of the girls. There were probably 50-girls and about 70/80 guys.
Unless you are with friends you are unlikely to chat to anyone else. I was pretty much ignored.
Showers are open and you can just pop in and shower when you want.

Interaction:
This is the important bit. You can go upto a model and ask “how is it going? shall we go?”. Depending on your style – sometimes I engaged in conversation, other times I tapped on shoulders and asked: “Hey, you busy?”
You pay her after by taking her back to the lockers and giving her cash.
Sadly I did see some guys act like idiots where they would bump into girls, one time a guy harassed a girl but he was man enough to see it was pointless, or argue - but no scuffles. At the same time I did not see security anywhere.

Experiences: (Sorry no names – I forgot)
My first experience was a disaster – more on that later.

•   1. Blonde hair brown eyes – very thin – 5’8 model like – Czech Republic. She was the most model like girl there – serious catwalk model. Reminded me of a friend who did some TelevisionX and Playboy work. Stayed for 30mins with hope of CIM, but ended up doing sex. Amazing.
•   2. Blonde hair blue eyes – thin – 5’8 sexy reminded me of Christina Aguilera in her dirty video. Stayed for 30mins, wanting CIM, but ended up having sex with her as well.
•   3. Blonde hair green eyes – very thin – 58 model like (not, this is not copy paste errors – I did see blondes all night). She was friends with girl 2 and by this time I was fatigued. Again wanted CIM, but her technique was poor so I had sex instead. Ironically I made her laugh a lot, but she was annoyed I only stayed for 30mins.
•   4. Blonde hair blue eyes – thin – 5’8 – German. She did not seem that interested but I said a few silly things and she laughed and suddenly liked me. I want CIM and BOOM! HEADSHOT! (Sorry, I just could not resist). She was probably one of the best girls I have had and would return to see her alone!
•   5. Blonde hair blue eyes – tall slim curvey – German. I thought I lost her to other guys, but she went for a coffee and as soon as I said “hello” she said – “You want to go?” in an excited voice! Stayed with her for 30mins, but fatigue caught up to me, so I settled with playing with her. She was so friendly and I would love to see her again.
First experience: I was approached by a girl who could have been from anywhere in the middleeast, and from the get go she tried to upsell. I stayed with her for 30mins, and decided to end it after 10mins. Gave her 60-euro (which I think she was surprised by). And figured I hope this place is not full of upsellers.

Conclusion:
I probably have missed some key points, but hope this helps.
Also – tips for girls are not expected – they give changed.
Taxis are outside the place after 3am too.

[claretandblue]

So the first four girls you saw were all blonde thin and five foot eight?are they cloning them?!?

[vt]

So the first four girls you saw were all blonde thin and five foot eight?are they cloning them?!?

If I could clone women, that's where I would start!! 

Nice report...€60 to bang a Czech model type sounds great! 

[Jerboa]

Ok good report of Artemis, but next time try to remember girls names, it can be hard work, I sometimes write girls names on paper or on my phone so as not to forget. You also said a Middle eastern girl tried to upsell you, that's not always a reason to cut a session, you just need be the boss and not let a girl take the piss, Artemis attracts lots one first time tourists, who have little knowledge of how things work, so some girls do try to hustle. As for some customers wearing underwear beneath their robes, total newbie faux pas!

[Mr Br1ghts1de]

I was there Sunday from 7pm to 1am.

I was going to post a separate report, but it seems sensible to post to this thread instead.

I should qualify some aspects of this report by saying I enjoyed 10 hours and 8 girls at Anni Porsche for Eur 78 (all in) and 5 girls and 5 hours at Airport Girls for Eur 60 (all in) either side of my Artemis experience.

I should also say that my experience is very much compared to my experiences at Samya, Cologne which I personally think is a better run club in terms of my likes for the reasons below. In saying that I have always arrived at Samya pre 5pm and enjoyed the whole day, whereas here I only turned up in the evening.   

Location: 5 minute walk from Westkreuz train station.

Good Points:

- If you want to roam around in a palatial setting like a Roman God and even punt in a room called 'Phallus', then this might be the place for you.
- Excellent Wellness Centre - pool, spa's, massage area, 2 porn Kino's, gym, outside pool, bungalows, well furnished throughout. See website.
- 50+ girls and some absolute stunners
- 3 pretty good shags as below.

Neutral:

- Food OK, but limited and no sweets. Samya, Cologne is better in my experience.

Negatives:   

- I found the club to be generally unfriendly - from its welcome, to the girls, to fellow punters.
- I got the same welcome as FBM, but was presented with a laminated card outlining what the club offered. No care from the lady at Reception to explain, I was left to read. I was just another punter, 1st time attendee or not.
- Left to find my own footwear.
- Eur 80 entry does not get you free beer. A 400 ml beer costs you Eur 10  which I found to be a piss take, so did not indulge. Still that was cheap compared to Eur 350 for Champagne. Eur 50 entry at Samya and free beer.
- Unfriendly bar staff upstairs (downstairs in the pool area was better), who never caught your eye. You had to work to catch theirs and get a drink. Maybe they were only looking out for the alcohol voucher holders.
- Girls constantly upselling. Eur 50 for CIM and Eur 100 for anal. Others not prepared to offer FK or RO, or only willing for longer session (e.g. Diana Romanian blonde, Kelly German brunette, Bahamian black girl whose name I can't remember.
- Some girls are completely up themselves. 2 not spectacular looking girls introduced themselves to me as "Miss EUR 1,000" and "Miss EUR 1,000". They seemed to be serious when they later said "Miss 800" and "Miss 750" respectively.
- No discount for an hour booking advertised to me, so Eur 60 for half hour and Eur 120 for hour (Samya is Eur 50 and Eur 75 respectively)

Despite this, I had 3 good half hour sessions as follows:


Christina - Romanian/Moldovan, 5' 7" absolute cracking, model looks blonde. Sunkissed and heavily moisterised. Greeted almost immediately by her and really couldn't resist her 10/10 looks. Indulged in light kissing, frantic OWO during 69 (think she just wanted to get me off quick - and maybe claim the extra Eur for 50 CIM which she warned me about before), RO (reasonably responsive), fuck in mish and doggy. Cracking looks, 6.5/10 in terms of service.

Gabriella - Polish 5' 3" brunette. Lovely friendly girl who I met coming out (her) of the downstairs kino. Had a lovely chat and drink first before retiring to one of the bungalows outside. Nice light FK, 69, OWO, RO (lovely and responsive), great fuck in mish, cowgirl, doggy and mish to finish with kissing and dirty talk mixed in. Looks 7/10, Service 9/10.

Millie - Spanish, 5' 2" brunette with slightly saggy tits, but otherwise nice. Lovely soft OWO to base and held, light tongue slightly protruding FK, OWO, RO (lovely and responsive), nice fuck in mish, cowgirl, doggy and mish to finish with dirty talk mixed in. Tried to give me 5 minute warning 15 mins in, but went another 10. Looks 7/10, Service 7.5/10.

Summary:

Great club for the surroundings and if you like stunners, but unfriendly and not as good vfm as Samya in my experience and certainly not as good vfm as the alternative flatrates in Berlin.

Separate reports to follow on Anni Porsche and Airport Girls. 
           


   

[Jerboa]

Yes as I said before Artemis attracts many one time tourists or businessmen, so some girls will do their best to extract as much cash from them as possible, as they figure they won't return, that's also why the unfriendly attitude.

[Steve2]

It is so close to the big exhibition hall (Messegelande) too so attracts a lot of guys from there

[Mr Br1ghts1de]

Another neg for me (versus Samya at least) -  no party atmosphere, pretty sterile despite the in house dj and the very good blonde MILF poledancer.

[Sir cumalot]

I was there Sunday from 7pm to 1am.



I should qualify some aspects of this report by saying I enjoyed 10 hours and 8 girls at Anni Porsche for Eur 78 (all in) and 5 girls and 5 hours at Airport Girls for Eur 60 (all in) either side of my Artemis experience. 
           


 

FBM thank you for your post. The collective knowledge being shared by you guys is very helpful and great appricated.

Mr Br1ghts1de, I am still marvelling at your sheer stamina to be able to enjoy so many punting opportunities in such a short time frame. That is the stuff of legends!

If I may ask, if you had one evening and had to choose one venue, of the two you previously mentioned or others you have visited and not mentioned, which would be your number one pick? Although they all sound good and bad depending on your view point and what you want from them, I really want to have a great lasting memory of Berlin for my trip soon, as I a m sure I won't be able to get back there for a while. So Flat rate, like King George or another like it, or airport girls or a similar place? I greatly appreciate your input.

Thanks.

[Mr Br1ghts1de]

FBM thank you for your post. The collective knowledge being shared by you guys is very helpful and great appricated.

Mr Br1ghts1de, I am still marvelling at your sheer stamina to be able to enjoy so many punting opportunities in such a short time frame. That is the stuff of legends!

If I may ask, if you had one evening and had to choose one venue, of the two you previously mentioned or others you have visited and not mentioned, which would be your number one pick? Although they all sound good and bad depending on your view point and what you want from them, I really want to have a great lasting memory of Berlin for my trip soon, as I a m sure I won't be able to get back there for a while. So Flat rate, like King George or another like it, or airport girls or a similar place? I greatly appreciate your input.

Thanks.

Thanks Sir cumalot 

This was my first trip to Berlin, so I can only comment on Anni Porsche and Airport Girls.

In terms of which is better, that may very well depend on what type of punter you are and what environment you would be most happy in.

Anni Porsche is more of a party scene. There were 9 girls there during my time, working on a rolling shift pattern of 2 hours each with 2 girls there at all times from 2-11pm. Some girls will be more to your taste than others, but if you want to fully indulge, you may need to take some rough with the smooth. All the activities on the day I was there happened on the same bed (well 3/4 double beds thrown together), so if you do not mind public shagging this could be for you. At one time there were 3 girls and 6 guys on the bed  . Oral was predominantly OWO. Buffet food (sausages, open sandwiches, Berlin pretzels, snacks) and beer included. I understand you can dip out and come back in as you wish. Not that I did 

Airport Girls had 6 girls available from the moment I walked in, so more by way of choice perhaps, although I was attacked within 10 mins by a duo who led me away to a private room  . Same thing happened with 2 different girls an hour later  . All girls Romanian, so no kissing, whereas some kissing at AP. Oral was always OW too. No food whatsoever, but free beer (ask for Becks - they did not understand my request for a beer). 2 crackers there that would not have looked out of place at Artemis (also 2 crackers at AP).

I guess the choice comes down to whether you are a party guy or a private guy when it comes to shagging in respect of these 2 places.

I'm sure you will enjoy whatever - you can barely go wrong at these prices   

Will post a full report on each venue including details of girls I saw soon.     

[password02]

WOW seriously missing the European scene in these place -

As a general rule if you are looking to go to 2-3 clubs over a 3-4 day period how much £ would you say you need if your looking at doing 4-5 girls for a full 6-8 hour spend at these places? 300 euro's per day?

[Steve2]

WOW seriously missing the European scene in these place -

As a general rule if you are looking to go to 2-3 clubs over a 3-4 day period how much £ would you say you need if your looking at doing 4-5 girls for a full 6-8 hour spend at these places? 300 euro's per day?

Anni P is €78
Airport girls is €60
Insomnia is €90

These are all inclusive however long you stay. Beer wine girls. Food at Anni P and Insomnia. I normally invest in some chocolate biscuits to take to Airport Girls which is appreciated

Artemis is €80 entry then €60 for 1/2 hr with each girl so can be an expensive day out. Food included BUT beer €10

So 80+ 4/5x60 could be €380+ a couple of beers €400. Nearly twice the price of the other 3 combined

They are all very different in their own way

[FlyingBreadMan]

A big thank you to all those that contributed to this thread. My original aim was to give a narrative of my experience which could guide others on what to expect from visiting. I think it has achieved that to some degree with the other contributions - one man cannot capture all the details alone.

If anyone could give a review or log for other FKK clubs around Germany that would be great.

Thanks.

Bread.

[Wanking]

 
Will post a full report on each venue including details of girls I saw soon.     

Excellent Mr B, I look forward to your more detailed reports.

I am looking forward to trying Annie P for-sure, especially as there seems to be a good mix of women, some who kiss even!!

[Jerboa]

A big thank you to all those that contributed to this thread. My original aim was to give a narrative of my experience which could guide others on what to expect from visiting. I think it has achieved that to some degree with the other contributions - one man cannot capture all the details alone.

If anyone could give a review or log for other FKK clubs around Germany that would be great.

Thanks.

Bread.

Well if you haven't already read my reports and others here, then take a read, Hessen and NRW are the two main regions with numerous clubs.

[Mr Br1ghts1de]

Insomnia is €90

Insomnia was EUR 75 for it's Sunday Swingers Party. I bottled it, not knowing how it compared to their Thursday night, in favour of Artemis. Another reason I may have been slightly miffed at shelling out Eur 260 for my Artemis experience. 

[Mr Br1ghts1de]

A big thank you to all those that contributed to this thread. My original aim was to give a narrative of my experience which could guide others on what to expect from visiting. I think it has achieved that to some degree with the other contributions - one man cannot capture all the details alone.

If anyone could give a review or log for other FKK clubs around Germany that would be great.

Thanks.

Bread.

  Bread.

Your report certainly helped save some detail on mine. As you say, its hard to remember everything with these experiences. I always bullet point my memories as soon as I get back to the hotel to help.

Still, you have my sympathy for getting bowled over by the cloned blondes. I counted 5/6 of these girls with very similar looks.   

[Mr Br1ghts1de]

Excellent Mr B, I look forward to your more detailed reports.

I am looking forward to trying Annie P for-sure, especially as there seems to be a good mix of women, some who kiss even!!

  Wanking

Anni Porsche report here - https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=58880.msg757348#msg757348.

Limited kissing to be honest - definitely had some with Karla and maybe Tina.

[Mr Br1ghts1de]

Well if you haven't already read my reports and others here, then take a read, Hessen and NRW are the two main regions with numerous clubs.

I would not have been brave enough to sample the German scene but for Jerboa's excellent reports on this site and others valuable contributions. 

[Bigus Dickus]

I went to Artimis last year over 2 nights! Did 8 girls, all stunners. It gets busy at weekends. If you can get there early afternoon then you can pick and choose. Late on. Friday or Saturday and you might have to wait for a specific selection.

It is expensive but worth a visit as part of a city trip!

I never had any booze when I was there and stayed a good 8 hours on both occasions.

It's good to be surrounded with 50+ hot chicks with their clouts on display!

I am going to have to do a Berlin trip soon!

[Mr Br1ghts1de]

I went to Artimis last year over 2 nights! Did 8 girls, all stunners. It gets busy at weekends. If you can get there early afternoon then you can pick and choose. Late on. Friday or Saturday and you might have to wait for a specific selection.

It is expensive but worth a visit as part of a city trip!

I never had any booze when I was there and stayed a good 8 hours on both occasions.

It's good to be surrounded with 50+ hot chicks with their clouts on display!

I am going to have to do a Berlin trip soon!

Did you reserve the 'Phallus' room for your 2 nights BD  ?

[Bigus Dickus]

No but I fucked a hot chick in the cinema in the main lounge upstairs and me and a mate did a pair of girls at the same time!

One of the highlights was a 6 ft plus blonde Polish lady who had a super model body! Climbing up her legs to eat her snatch was like reaching the peak of Everest! 

[FlyingBreadMan]

I went to Kamilla-D and had an absolutely disastrous time there. I won't write a report as I think it was just bad luck...but I will never return there again.

I recovered by ordering a very hot escort off an agency

[brandc]

opps wrong post... admin please delete this post