It comes down to lifestyle / fetish / sexual appetite etc...
For some people, foreplay (oral etc) is totally superfluous, and for others its completely essential.
Some people get a kick out of dominating, others are the complete opposite, some are indifferent.
I don't think there is anything to 'get' per se. Much like the 'rimming' thread where a similar question was asked. You're likely to read a range of responses, all of which create a narrative; some elements of which may resonant ewith u, others not so much.
Personally, I'm probably more in to being a bit Dom/Sub with a girl....nothing too hardcore, but a bit of lighthearted stuff both ways. Makes sex more adventurous and exciting for me. Sometimes I fancy something a bit more vanilla, and occasionally I want something with a bit of emotion...horses for courses