Popular media on UKEscorting.com (free site!)

UKPunting is a free, independent and not-for-profit paid sex buyer site.


Author Topic: Those to seek to dominate WGs (Sub/dom)...why?  (Read 1944 times)

Offline MrBridger

Cos I'm paying her?!

OK so you go through this whole thread and ignore all the well considered and thought provoking posts, going straight for the obvious, cheap and thoughtless response.

Bit of a dick move IMO.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2015, 11:41:01 PM by MrBridger »
Banning reason: Spreading allegations against another punter because of personal dispute

Offline Grey Punter

Quote
Can anyone explain what's good about spanking/tying up a girl and being really aggressive/rough with her?  

I don't get it guys! please share!

I do understand the spanking/tying up part, it's the aggressive/rough part that I don't get. Moderate impact play is an extension of sensation play with its frisson of apprehension that enhances the experience. Physical restraint during sexual activity is a common practice with the usual purpose being that pleasure is administered to the "helpless victim" who has to eventually submit to orgasm. The tied up gang bang is probably the ultimate manifestation of this.

It is well understood in BDSM circles that application of pain leads to release of endorphins that can result in a form of "high". It is sometimes referred to as Sub Space. I have seen men and women one could describe as hooked on this and submit to beatings to achieve it. However the beating is only a means to an end and not applied without caution. This has to be clearly understood by all parties involved. The area to be aware of is the individual sho is in effect craving self harm by proxy and this is a situation to steer clear of. It may also be accompanied by a desire to experience degradation, verbal or physical, both of which are very edgy.

Grey Punter
Banning reason: Previously banned (AlanGB)

Offline 306

However the beating is only a means to an end and not applied without caution. This has to be clearly understood by all parties involved. The area to be aware of is the individual she is in effect craving self harm by proxy and this is a situation to steer clear of. It may also be accompanied by a desire to experience degradation, verbal or physical, both of which are very edgy.

i read posts like this in several places on this board and
 in several places not the pain side
 but the extreme acts
 and wonder if once tasted
all before is lost and things lead to a ever greater form of extreme sexual acts  for self gratification ?
Banning reason: Constantly making nonsensical useless posts + Constantly ignoring admin requests

Offline fredpunter

I do understand the spanking/tying up part, it's the aggressive/rough part that I don't get.

+1

It is well understood in BDSM circles that application of pain leads to release of endorphins that can result in a form of "high".

For one reason or another I have endured quite severe pain on more than one occasion and can't say it ever made me feel high but I guess we are all different.

The area to be aware of is the individual who is in effect craving self harm by proxy and this is a situation to steer clear of.

Now this is an interesting point - I wonder if most "subs" one encounters actually fall into this category. 

Offline fredpunter

For some, "no" is deliberately not the safe word because part of the turn on is the idea that she wants you to stop and you don't.  Of course in reality she doesn't want you to stop but it creates the illusion of you "forcing her". 

I can see that but to be honest the idea that you are forcing some-one to do something they don't want to do is so abhorrent to me that it has never been a fantasy of mine or an illusion I want to create - but each to his own. Also it falls under the category of role-play which etc etc 

Offline Grey Punter

Quote
i read posts like this in several places on this board and
 in several places not the pain side
 but the extreme acts
 and wonder if once tasted
all before is lost and things lead to a ever greater form of extreme sexual acts  for self gratification ?

That is a valid question, the kind of thing that would fill quite a few  of thing that would fill quite a few psychology text books. I cannot claim to have qualification to even start an authoritative reply. However there are personality types who will carry on extending their limits in search of even more intense sensation, physical or mental. In doing so their degree of caution would diminish as the search intensifies. But I believe that this would require a very strong obsessive streak that is absent in most of the population.

Grey Punter
Banning reason: Previously banned (AlanGB)

Offline Grey Punter

I can see that but to be honest the idea that you are forcing some-one to do something they don't want to do is so abhorrent to me that it has never been a fantasy of mine or an illusion I want to create - but each to his own. Also it falls under the category of role-play which etc etc

I wholeheartedly agree with that. Consent not coercion must be paramount; Safe, Sane and Consensual.

Grey Punter
Banning reason: Previously banned (AlanGB)

Offline Clooney

I've just noticed this thread and I'm one of about I'd say no more than half a dozen Doms on this board.

I've discussed at length the dynamic with other members on PM with a few guys who are curious and maybe want a pointer. I'm always very happy to do so and take time to explain in detail.

But with respect ro them (and keeping their names out of it) I'm going to paste a few things from those messages which I think explain why it is far from all being just whipping and flogging.

A few posts will follow from this, so brace yourselves!

Offline Clooney

It is very difficult for me to articulate exactly how I am, do and think, but I always try my best. I've said before in the part that I cannot help how I am any more than someone who is gay, bi or trans can. It is just me.

But I will say this... A true Dom has a strong desire to develop, nurture and protect his sub. This is what sets us apart from sadists who I think are incapable of showing love.

Offline Clooney

I think I have identified the root of my dominant personality and it stems from childhood when I was required to take the role of protector very young, and have never really been able to drop it. Psychologists would have a field day but I'm happy and harm absolutely no-one by being me. Quite the opposite in fact!

As long as you undertake it all through the lens of care and nurture that is the important bit.

That said... Being caring and stern at the same time can be difficult. You remember the thing your parents used to say to you?... "Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind?"

Well to me that's the Dom/sub relationship right there.

A true submissive swoons during the process of correction and reward, and in my own way I do too. It is a union of two people who has what each other needs and complete each other in a sensual way.

Offline Clooney

And I guess the hard of thinking will be along in a moment to scream "fluffy!!!!!" But as Spkmstr48 often and correctly says, in a Dom/sub situation, such terms are pretty redundant.

Offline Zeusthedoc

And I guess the hard of thinking will be along in a moment to scream "fluffy!!!!!" But as Spkmstr48 often and correctly says, in a Dom/sub situation, such terms are pretty redundant.

To be fair, most terms are arbitrary. Language, emotion, and desire exist on different planes. Much like every construct. The idea that we can accurately capture sensations in either using one of the other is nonsense, but we try and we do well enough. Most of the time!

So when desires such as bdsm / fetishisms etc, which are ostracsised in mainstream society, exist you're hardly lively to be able to accurately articulate it.

Don't break the law, don't be a cunt, and have fun.

Offline lancspunter

There are a lot of very thoughtful, insightful posts already on this thread. One thing that has not been stressed enough is that a sub actually gets pleasure from being dominated, whether that is through pain, restraint, orgasm control or any other aspect. It is vitally important to understand the psychology of the sub and that does indeed take time. I also think that intelligence, communication and the ability to articulate are paramount.

The s/D power exchange has nothing to do with sadism or abuse, but more to do with trust and care. It takes an awful lot for a sub to give control of their own pleasure to a dom who knows what they are doing.

The last thing I will add here is that there is little a sub dislikes and is frustrated by more than a dom who does not know what s/he is doing.
Banning reason: Convicted criminal

OK so you go through this whole thread and ignore all the well considered and thought provoking posts, going straight for the obvious, cheap and thoughtless response.

Bit of a dick move IMO.

I didn't ignore all the so called "well considered and thought provoking posts", I chose to ignore them and voice my own opinion. If you don't like it then fuck off to a philosophy forum. You stick to your opinion and I'll stick to mine.

Offline Clooney

I didn't ignore all the so called "well considered and thought provoking posts", I chose to ignore them and voice my own opinion. If you don't like it then fuck off to a philosophy forum. You stick to your opinion and I'll stick to mine.

"So called?"

So you don't think they are considered and well thought out?

Offline Clooney

There are a lot of very thoughtful, insightful posts already on this thread. One thing that has not been stressed enough is that a sub actually gets pleasure from being dominated, whether that is through pain, restraint, orgasm control or any other aspect. It is vitally important to understand the psychology of the sub and that does indeed take time. I also think that intelligence, communication and the ability to articulate are paramount.

The s/D power exchange has nothing to do with sadism or abuse, but more to do with trust and care. It takes an awful lot for a sub to give control of their own pleasure to a dom who knows what they are doing.

The last thing I will add here is that there is little a sub dislikes and is frustrated by more than a dom who does not know what s/he is doing.

100%  :thumbsup:

"So called?"

So you don't think they are considered and well thought out?

No, not all of them.

There's something really appealing about making her do whatever one wants.


Offline lancspunter

No, not all of them.

It must have occurred to you that you actually have nothing to contribute to this thread.
Banning reason: Convicted criminal

It must have occurred to you that you actually have nothing to contribute to this thread.

No, just you ...


Offline Clooney

No, just you ...

And me. And at least one other person.

Seems like you've strayed onto this and can't quite find your way out...

Isnt CIM and swallow all about having a submissive partner?

And me. And at least one other person.

Seems like you've strayed onto this and can't quite find your way out...

At least. And it seems to bother you more than it bothers me ... and that's just fine.
« Last Edit: May 31, 2015, 05:26:33 PM by madeinwales56 »


Latest videos on UKEscorting.com (free site!)

Latest images on UKEscorting.com (free site!)