Being a devious old hand at covering my tracks and setting up elaborate scenarios to throw her indoors off the scent I thought I'd share and pass a few under hand tips on...
You've got to find something that she finds really boring, annoying and tedious
My thing is snooker
The lie...
Me and 3 mates play once a week on a weekday evening.
The snooker club is 15 miles away as its central to us all and it has better tables.
I have to go clean and tidy as I can't play unshaven and scruffy.
I have my own snooker cue, it lives in full view on the lobby.
I leave my membership card under the clock on the fireplace for all to view
The reality...
I'm shit at snooker
I only go to the club once a year to pay my subs
There are no 3 mates
The next time my cue hits a ball will be its first
There are much more things you can do..
Join a classic car club (monthly or weekly meets, things on at the weekend)
Enjoy a hobby that involves mud, rain and sloppy footpaths (off road motorsport is ideal)
Join a model railway club (meets, events etc)
Join your current car owners club (meets, events etc)
Remember, the more boring the better. Always pay your subs, leave plenty of evidence of your terribly boring hobby that will have the Mrs and her pals laughing at you and she wouldn't be seen dead at them.
You'll get a free pass for weekdays and the occasional weekend escape, check the club's diary and you can tie a punt into their event.
Remember, you've no intention of doing any of this shit but you'd be surprised how a cool head and a straight face will get you through
Note.. I've tweaked a few of the facts as I don't want to blow my own cover, I'm not that daft