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Author Topic: getting away with it  (Read 4626 times)

Offline LL

A mate of mine [categorically not me - thank fuck] had a massage + HJ.  What he didn't realize was that rather than lotion the girlie was using self-tanning cream [she must have run out - or maybe not ?].  Coz he was staying away that night for work he went to bed after a load of beer / curry previously.  Bet he was popular in the parlour.  When having a shower in the morning he noticed some areas a bit browner than others.  He had to have loads of baths and had to go to bed a bit later than usual for a few days by which time the OH was asleep.  Fortunately it was winter and he wore his pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt. The pyjama bottoms raised an eye-brow from the OH as he hadn't worn them for a year+.  He told me & two other mates when we were on the golf course when we were just about to tee off.  We literally collapsed with laughter and it took me 2 minutes to take my shot.  Which not surprisingly was shit

That's a funny story! :D What the fuck was she thinking?  And what happens when she's out of both oil and self-tanning cream? - She breaks out the hair-removal cream!? :)

Offline bigmc

Get called into work at relatively short notice ( dont get paid overtime,) so thats utilised book half days holiday and arrive home at normal time.
Nothing more boring than chatting about work

I presume you don't mean being a Platinum Member of SS  :lol:

No. It's a hobby that pays me and I enjoy and that women generally aren't interested in. It also pays for my punting!!

tcm

Offline LL

No. It's a hobby that pays me and I enjoy and that women generally aren't interested in. It also pays for my punting!!

tcm
Photography.

Photography.

Nope! I won't be revealing it either as there aren't too many who do this. When I think about it, I smile as it's all cash transactions and involves incalls and outcalls, so to speak. And no, I'm not a rent boy!!

tcm

Offline LL

Nope! I won't be revealing it either as there aren't too many who do this. When I think about it, I smile as it's all cash transactions and involves incalls and outcalls, so to speak. And no, I'm not a rent boy!!

tcm
Avon lady?

Offline cueball

Nope! I won't be revealing it either as there aren't too many who do this. When I think about it, I smile as it's all cash transactions and involves incalls and outcalls, so to speak. And no, I'm not a rent boy!!

tcm

Don't worry pal, your secret is safe with me but what I will say, since you fixed my ingrowing big toe nails I'm walking a lot better now.

I punt just before I meet up with my mates for a night out so that way when OH asks what we got up to and where we went I don't have to lie or make any think up other than the time we actually met. My other time is when I'm out buying for the business and a couple of hours is easily lost.  :hi:

A mate of mine [categorically not me - thank fuck] had a massage + HJ.  What he didn't realize was that rather than lotion the girlie was using self-tanning cream [she must have run out - or maybe not ?]. 

That happened to me as well! I went for the between rounds massage and thought the WG was just using lotion. I turned my head towards the table and clocked the bottle, some kind of moisturiser with tanning crap in it  :scare:

I don't have a wife or gf who I'm hiding this from but even so, I had to make stop right away. The damage was partly done by then and I had to live with a bit of a streaky back for a while.

The massage is probably the thing that will get most people caught. Oils, lotions and constant rubbing is going to leave evidence all of you. Probably best avoided if you have a partner.

I don't have a Mrs but how about surfing? You can buy a wet suit and board  :cool: You can't use your phone in the ocean..

Offline Turtle Z

I think that a good way to continue getting away with it is not to post your techniques for getting away with it on an open forum.  :D

Offline LL

I think that a good way to continue getting away with it is not to post your techniques for getting away with it on an open forum.  :D
Well the OP did say that he'd changed some details to protect himself. Maybe it's not a snooker cue but a fishing rod and he goes on fishing trips with his imaginary friends :D

"Going fishing" is a cracking excuse,
But just remember when you get in and the oh asks you "catch much?"
"I fucking hope not!!"  is not the acceptable answer!!

Offline raylondoner

"Going fishing" is a cracking excuse,
But just remember when you get in and the oh asks you "catch much?"
"I fucking hope not!!"  is not the acceptable answer!!

Guess crab fishing is out then?  :yahoo:

Offline spkmstr48

What about needing regular massages?

Too close to the truth?
Banning reason: Prossie fanboy


Randy James

I normally punt on my days off midweek
but Id tell OH i have an extra shift im doing for extra money in manchester or Bury etc

i actually might do half a days work fro 3 hours around the area. then go 4 a punt after that.

Offline cueball

Well the OP did say that he'd changed some details to protect himself.

Yes, I did, didn't I

It's an evolving lie is punting, I might be onto another hobby now, ofcourse it takes me out of the house and unfortunately her indoors thinks it's shite. I get tuts and eye rolls but it keeps me happy and quiet ha ha

Offline spkmstr48

Something else that helps me "get away with it" is that the OH thinks I've gone off sex, too old or something like that (I'm not that old). Truth is I've just gone off sex with her. When we met (I'm older than her)  she was a fit twentysomething, but that was 15 years ago but I still want to fuck fit twentysomethings.
Banning reason: Prossie fanboy

Jehovah's Witness.

"Yes dear, your friend did see me leaving Mistress Trixie's House of Pleasure, but she was in need of spiritual guidance.  I must go wherever God's mission requires, you know that.  I also had a prayer meeting with two of her girls, it was such an uplifting experience to see them both filled with the Holy Spirit".

Reminds me of this old chestnut.... an oldie but a goodie:

Chap’s wife works weekends and he’s nipped out for his fortnightly Saturday punt whilst she’s doing her shift. Coming home he’s shocked to see her motor on the drive – she’s home from work hours too early!? Without breaking stride he veers off his path onto his front lawn, drops to his knees and scuffs about a bit before bouncing back up and marching up to his front door. As he’s putting his key in, the door flies open and his sour faced Mrs is stood there hands on hips. Where you been then? She bawls at him. He shuffles about and looks a bit shifty before blurting out he’s been shagging a gorgeous former gymnast all afternoon. The Mrs eyes him up and down disdainfully and notices his grass stained strides. She points at his knees and screams LIAR!!! You’ve snuck out and played golf again aint ya!!!!
OK, I’ll fetch me coat.......

On a more serious note my last (and to date only) punt was undertaken under the pretext of attending a financial planning seminar explaining investment opportunities arising from recent pension reforms. That seminar really did happen – I just went nowhere near it though.  I’d say that deffo ticks the dull and boring boxes!

Reminds me of this old chestnut.... an oldie but a goodie:

Chap’s wife works weekends and he’s nipped out for his fortnightly Saturday punt whilst she’s doing her shift. Coming home he’s shocked to see her motor on the drive – she’s home from work hours too early!? Without breaking stride he veers off his path onto his front lawn, drops to his knees and scuffs about a bit before bouncing back up and marching up to his front door. As he’s putting his key in, the door flies open and his sour faced Mrs is stood there hands on hips. Where you been then? She bawls at him. He shuffles about and looks a bit shifty before blurting out he’s been shagging a gorgeous former gymnast all afternoon. The Mrs eyes him up and down disdainfully and notices his grass stained strides. She points at his knees and screams LIAR!!! You’ve snuck out and played golf again aint ya!!!!
OK, I’ll fetch me coat.......

On a more serious note my last (and to date only) punt was undertaken under the pretext of attending a financial planning seminar explaining investment opportunities arising from recent pension reforms. That seminar really did happen – I just went nowhere near it though.  I’d say that deffo ticks the dull and boring boxes!

The only danger would be if she checked up.

I don't offer any kind of advance excuse - I just go about my business as normal and then disappear for an hour in what would be a 'grey' period of time ie nobody knows where I am because nobody was at A or B to check departure/arrival time. If there's any doubt as to where my Mrs might be, punt gets abandoned. And if I did ever have to explain, I'd refer to incall/outcall doing my 'activity' - see above for those who've just come in.

Game of cat and mouse!

tcm


Offline Banquo

The golden rule for telling lies is "KEEP IT SIMPLE"

Elaborate lies unravel far easier than simple ones.

I don't need to worry these days, but back in the day, I used work travel as an excuse. I strenuously tried to keep work separate from home life - no interaction between the OH and colleagues. I wouldn't recommend introducing fake friends or hobbies into your lies - where are the photos, phonecalls or texts? I think my ex would have spotted a fair few of the lies on here - maybe she spotted mine and just didn't care that much, or didn't want to know the truth.

Offline smiths

The golden rule for telling lies is "KEEP IT SIMPLE"

Elaborate lies unravel far easier than simple ones.

I don't need to worry these days, but back in the day, I used work travel as an excuse. I strenuously tried to keep work separate from home life - no interaction between the OH and colleagues. I wouldn't recommend introducing fake friends or hobbies into your lies - where are the photos, phonecalls or texts? I think my ex would have spotted a fair few of the lies on here - maybe she spotted mine and just didn't care that much, or didn't want to know the truth.

Simple and very importantly believable to your partner.

Offline webpunter

Simple and very importantly believable to your partner.
+1   No elaborate story.  They'll know you are lying - or will catch you out later.  When you've had a few drinks & they go back to the previous events.  They will remember in great detail - as usually they have little else to do.  Apart from going on Mnet 


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