Weirdest place you've ever cum

[Zeusthedoc]

I recall a number of years ago coming home from a date with an ex I was quite serious with. We were living in Woolwich Arsenal area at the time, staying in flats that had a gated car-park underneath. Her mum was staying with us for few days and absolutely fucking hated my guts. the bitch would do whatever she could to interfere with our sex pattern too.

Got home horny as fuck and decided to have sex in the back of the car, in the car park. Closed off, no-one could see us. She was on the pill and we'd often go without using a condom. but she didn't like it when i finished inside her. we were going at it, and just as i was about to cum, she told me not inside and pulled away. There was no way I was about to get cum on the upholstery in the car so i just grabbed the first thing i could find, which happened to be a carrier bag in the pocket behind passenger seat. stuck my dick inside and blasted for queen and country.

Luckily, i think there were just a few old receipts in the bag, otherwise that could have ended really badly.

can anyone top cumming inside an M&S carrier bag?

[webpunter]

Nothing wrong with a bit of 'Magic & Sparkle'
Presume the christmas ads by M&S bring back fond memories
And they charge 5p for a fucking bag now - well worth the investment for you
Better than the upholstery - presume given the timeline then not leather seats 

[tonysoprano]

I spunked in a public swimming pool once after my girlfriend wanked me off underwater while we were in there together.

We didn't really hang about to do much swimming after that.

[Zeusthedoc]

Nothing wrong with a bit of 'Magic & Sparkle'
Presume the christmas ads by M&S bring back fond memories
And they charge 5p for a fucking bag now - well worth the investment for you
Better than the upholstery - presume given the timeline then not leather seats 

No leather seats at the time. Was a pretty decent fuck. They're a mandatory expectation in every car since. Luckily enough the bag would have been free - also, it was one of the darker green ones, with the light green handle rather than the lime-ish green ones.

You know you've made it when you get to cum in a waitrose bag - and if you find yourself regularly blasting off in a bag from Lidl you know where you've gone wrong. We've all got dreams

[sticko]

Thought this was going to be location as opposed to receptacle.  Nothing springs to mind for the latter; the former has to be in a dark corner of the chapel in the Franciscan monastery at Assisi in Italy.  Didn't feel at all blasphemous, and Mrs S was a lot more adventurous in those days.

S

[Zeusthedoc]

No reason why you couldn't talk about receptacle or location. I think church is something on many peoples' bucket list.

[Sureshot]

In the wifes ear.  Not sure what made me do it but i found it funny as fuck!!!

[DG]

I've made a bit of a habit of shooting up a WGs nose at the moment when giving a facial, not deliberately, it just happens. I've also had a couple of occasions when cumming in her mouth it has come out of her nose.

I do like to cum in her hair as well, not the lot, just a stray spurt or two.

[bigfish]

Shot onto my own face once, a wg straddling me wanking me off when, whoosh a particularly good spurt got me straight between the eyes.

[londonmaxxy]

Scunthorpe.

[thefoxman]

Having a "public" bj on a balcony - she didn't want to do cim, so there was only one place to go - over the top

Wasn't in spain though - manchester !

[Aspen]

A bit of daring do when I was still at school. We used to have choir practice weekly and a couple of the girls were game for a bit of fun up in the back row and I came several times with their attention. This went on for several months but we nearly got caught once when the head teacher appeared silently behind us having come through the rear access door.

Not quite the same thing, but a mate of mine had a bike accident and ended up in an orthopaedic unit and I visited him a few times. The guy in the bed opposite had broken both arms and his girlfriend used to wank him off under the bedclothes. It was so obvious what was going on that it was hilarious. After a couple of weeks one of the nurses took her to one side and told her off and that ended the entertainment.

[sticko]

You reminded me of another.  Not quite up to the BJ and fuck in church episode, but a particularly grubby gf and I, when we were still at school, used to mutually masturbate each other in A level Physics.  We shared an old-fashioned high table in a lab at the back of the room in the corner.  Never got caught.  Happy days...

S

[Zeusthedoc]

A bit of daring do when I was still at school. We used to have choir practice weekly and a couple of the girls were game for a bit of fun up in the back row and I came several times with their attention. This went on for several months but we nearly got caught once when the head teacher appeared silently behind us having come through the rear access door.

HTs and rear access doors. Good to see school hasn't changed!

[a_polite_gentleman]

Scunthorpe.

 

[webpunter]

I think church is something on many peoples' bucket list.

Charlotte is deffo on mine !

[webpunter]

+1
I can add Streatham - what a shit-hole.  More the case of not coming though.  The GF was living at her parents place - aged early 20's.  She demanded that i fuck her on the stairs by the front door.  She'd let me fuck her for a while without a nodder - but then insisted on one as she didn't like to stop when she was warmed up.  Frosted glass door / side panels & we had the lights off.  Was 5 seconds away from 'thunderbirds are go' when her parents car pulled into the drive with lights on main beam.  We looked at each other with faces that read WTF ?     Got dressed in about 8 secs but didn't have time to take the nodder off.  Which i had to keep on whilst we all had drinks / dinner before making an excuse to take a wazz.  Your bell-end gets really sweaty.  I put the nodder in my pocket rather than flushing down the bog.  As i'm sure that the fucking things can swim !  She made me wait for about 2 hours before i headed off home & she sucked me off in my car parked just down the road.  Happy days !

[HappyandLucky]

I have caught a WG's phone with friendly fire. Did CIM but I guess I had built up a load and she turned sideways and coughed and spluttered and it shot out onto the bedside cabinet and got her phone a bullseye. Might be a first, WG snowballs her own phone. The not so good side was I had to Wank the remainder out myself rather than leave the pipes half full. 

[Demistify]

I've made a bit of a habit of shooting up a WGs nose at the moment when giving a facial, not deliberately, it just happens. I've also had a couple of occasions when cumming in her mouth it has come out of her nose.

I do like to cum in her hair as well, not the lot, just a stray spurt or two.

Don't they whine when you cum in their hair?

[webpunter]

Don't they whine when you cum in their hair?

Don't they just.  Reminds me of Cameron Diaz in Something About Mary.  She's a naughty little minx.  And my fave celebrity to shag 

[Randy James]

1. Gents public toilet in Blackburn
2. Sink at work
3. Janet joys shit hole

[DG]

Don't they whine when you cum in their hair?

Not so far, but have had some say no facial as they've just washed their hair. In that case down the throat I say 

Ive met a couple of girls who ask if you want to ruin their make-up; an offer I can't refuse.

[Jamboney]

In a field when on a walk in the country with an ex

[Aspen]

In a field when on a walk in the country with an ex

That's not a weird place, that's normal.

I remember being in the middle of a wheat field once and a light plane started circling overhead. I was a bit shy but the girl I was with wouldn't let me stop, and then you get past caring...

[Equilibrium]

Visited a regular after 2 weeks of no masturbation of any sort , asked to cum on her face , she wanked me off and due to amount of cum being so much , she pointed it over her head , causing my cum to shoot at the window , which could be seen from outside her apartment 
Ps.she didn't clean it till the next time I visited her (3 days later)

[HappyandLucky]

Visited a regular after 2 weeks of no masturbation of any sort , asked to cum on her face , she wanked me off and due to amount of cum being so much , she pointed it over her head , causing my cum to shoot at the window , which could be seen from outside her apartment 
Ps.she didn't clean it till the next time I visited her (3 days later)

If one of my regs had this lack of general cleanliness she would be an ex reg. If she can't be arsed to wash spunk off a window, how much effort does she put into cleaning elsewhere IMO 

[yourgent]

Cricket scorebox,
Upstairs getting a swift HJ. Think her husband was batting at the time.

[Equilibrium]

She took care of her self , I just generally think she did not notice it ...

[Zeusthedoc]

Cricket scorebox,
Upstairs getting a swift HJ. Think her husband was batting at the time.

I would have thought with that kind of wrist action, she would be the one considered aiming for the boundaries.

Whilst with an ex; BJ in a mate's flat....she's stripped naked and on her knees. I blew my load and she wanted a facial - in my teens so buckets of cum etc. At least 7/8 shots from the sack and it was clearly too much. She ducked and a blob went over her head and into her shoe. I counted that as 10pts.

[muffherwell91]

I got an afternoon wank off my then girlfriend in an almost empty Glasgow Scala Cinema (just me, the girlfriend and some random bloke who was sitting a good few rows in front of us). I ended up shooting my load over the seat in front of me. The film was Sex, Lies and Videotape and to this day it is still one of my favourite films.

[webpunter]

Travelling abroad many moons ago & was easier to catch a bus between places.  Loads cheaper & time wasn't an issue.  Had been with a bird i met a week or so previously.  The journey was like midnight to 7am the next morning.  Sat in the back row and bus was only half full.  Couldn't have sex - would have been too obvious as some people a couple of rows in front of us.  Dimmed lights.  She started off with a BJ but then someone went to use the toilet a few rows further on down.  So she stopped & proceed to wank me off slowly under a blanket.  The thought of being in a public place made it all the more exciting.  She pretended to be asleep.  Took me 15 mins to come for some reason [movement by her restricted] & i was given a 2 minute warning that her arm was aching & she was going to stop.  Slept for the rest of the journey after shooting my bolt

[cueball]

I shot a blob in a lasses ear I've recently reviewed, she said she didn't do facials, she never mentioned earals

[mh]

I shot a blob in a lasses ear I've recently reviewed, she said she didn't do facials, she never mentioned earals

I think it's aural - in this case for her it was aural without protection... 

[cueball]

I think it's aural - in this case for her it was aural without protection... 

I think you're right, it were AWO

[madeinwales56]

The missus wanked me off while she was driving up M3 and I shot my load just as we turned onto M25. On another occasion she also gave me a blowjob while I was driving in lane three of M25 at Chiswick. I blew my load by the Reigate turn off!

[raylondoner]

Dagenham! 

[webpunter]

Rochester Way Hand Relief Road

[Eastbloke]

Public library.  My ex was being 'playful' and wanked me through my trousers 'til I came. 

The lady librarian (we were in a secluded part of the library) on the way out asked if I was alright as I looked a little flustered......

[xxxx]

You should have told her to go down & swallow it. Unless you keep that for escorts

[wheeliebinwanking]

Darlington . . . .

Met some burd on a stag do, arranged to come down the following weekend and shag her. Only realised when the drinks started flowing that she had an abusive / stalkerish ex boyf who would sometimes appear on saturday night

Shagged her three times that night but before we did, she propped a chair against her front door (like they do in the movies)

Couldn't wait to leave the next morning

WBW

[mf_1101]

Darlington . . . .

Met some burd on a stag do, arranged to come down the following weekend and shag her. Only realised when the drinks started flowing that she had an abusive / stalkerish ex boyf who would sometimes appear on saturday night

Shagged her three times that night but before we did, she propped a chair against her front door (like they do in the movies)

Couldn't wait to leave the next morning

WBW

Would have thought with your username WBW, there would be another story 

Depends how you define weird, when I was much younger in my teen years I did some dryhumping with my then girlfriend on the sofa as her mother was in the kitchen having tea with my mother!!! That was pretty weird. Came in my pants right there... Also crazy sexual thrill. 

[Convince Me]

On a broken washing machine in a hallway whilst her friends were in the front room!

[willbred]

In a crowded pub where I had managed to conceal a real boner under trackie bottoms and my missus ( girl friend at the time) relieved me with the hand which wasn't holding the Chardonnay.

Many years ago.....

[chris_jp2]

Office (after hours)
Meeting room beside office (during hours)
Church
Alleyway off the Strand in Central London
Beach, several times
Field beside a railway line as a train went past
M25 BJs when in slow traffic

[Bigus Dickus]

I spunked over a female soldiers arse at the top of Edinburgh Castle overlooking the city!

I have also hit myself in the eye a few times during a frantic hand shandy following a period of chastity!

[Zeusthedoc]

Into a WGs glass - from which she promptly drank.

I was so glad i took the took the bottle of water when she'd offered me a drink at the start of the punt.

[threechilliman]

Several years ago in the office, a girl had left a nice pair of shoes under her desk. Once everyone had left for the day I had a wank with those shoes hung around my cock before unloading into them. I put them back where I'd had them from without cleaning up.

 

tcm

[superchamp]

On an ex's pussy once, or rather on an ex's cat. On the receiving end of a very decent HJ when her cat jumped up on the bed and got a dollop of man fat all over its back, which it then proceeded to lick off.
Same GF once told me that when she was young her brother admitted to wanking off into her hamsters cage to get her back for something she'd done to him.

[Tjkooker]

Several years ago in the office, a girl had left a nice pair of shoes under her desk. Once everyone had left for the day I had a wank with those shoes hung around my cock before unloading into them. I put them back where I'd had them from without cleaning up.

 

tcm

People have been jailed for shit like that. Disgusting behaviour.
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[HappyandLucky]

I think if TCM heard the rozzers coming he would have slushed the heels on and made a taller if slow get away