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Author Topic: Chinese "massage" clapham junction/battersea  (Read 2834 times)

This review has not been indexed yet.

Short version-didn't fancy the girl so i walked.

Longer version

woman who answers the phone has a strong(chinese) accent so
directions were a bit of a pain but got there reasonably ok.

service available
unless i misunderstood fs etc...is on offer.

Set-up and Flat
2 girls working on any given day.flat seemed ok.dim lighting in girl's
room,contained a bed and no massage table, but looked in good nick.
didn't see bathroom so cant comment.

Wg and meeting

was shown in by a very soft spoken chinese guy who lead me straight to wg's
room.she wasn't ugly but plain and around 40,body ok,dressed in lingerie/slip.
i decided to walk as i didn't fancy her.i politely asked if other girl was available,
the girl didn't understand but chinese guy took over and said if i waited 15 mins other
girl would be free,he said she was pretty but i didn't want to chance it,
i wasn't really into  the conveyor belt thing and there was another guy in what looked like
a waiting room-punter?
i went on into the night and started to phone plan b...

Reason for neutral and not negative:
i knew what to expect and had mentally prepared to walk if the girl(s) wasn't fit.
there was no deception by the madam,apart from the fake pics which all the massage
type sites use anyway.
this was an evening punt maybe its quieter in the day.

Update-this time i stayed.

rating-mildly positive

phone is answered by a chinese woman not the wgs.
i guess she is off site

i think the basic rate is 120 per hour,this will include penetration
and owo(depending on the girl),but cim and anal will be "extras" if available.

reasonably attractive chinese girl,thirties.
nice body,nice medium/small natural breasts with pokey nipples,
good legs.

room a bit tired but seemed clean enough.

let in by chinese guy who ushered me into the room with the pro,
brief negotiation and established services-you will need to do this
with each girl,be specific, as far as haggling goes not sure how much wiggle
room is available.
started with a thorough cock cleaning after which she mercifully
then discarded the wet wipes.
hj with a bit of oil
kissing, ok not intense but not the EE reluctant bullshit either.
reasonable amount of tongue from time to time.
bj, good
cim, took my full load without complaint.

professional but light hearted,
a few jokes reasonably friendly,asked what i wanted
4 or 5 times.

i don't know the exact set-up but i guess the girl(s) change weekly?
i imagine if you become a regular you would get more useful info
and the odd heads up.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2015, 11:12:40 AM by nervyfooker »

Offline yumyum3

Thanks for the review, NF. I have written about this place before and was a regular there until the service seemed to go downhill; very vanilla, lots of wet-wiping etc. After giving them a couple of chances I stopped going. I did return a while back and was greeted by the male maid, who seemed pleasant enough. When I saw the two women on offer and got the fake, vacant grin treatment my gut instinct kicked in and I decided to walk. You're review makes me think things may be slightly better, but not much.
They normally have two different women each week and the guy on the phone will tell you where they're from when you call.



Date recent enough to be relevant i think
Time about 9.30-10.30pm
Amount spent £0

Arrived about 9.30pm told both girls busy so i was prepared to wait
(for once i wasn't time limited).
Was introduced to a Chinese girl about 5ft 2 average body but very cute face
about 26yo.
Tried to confirm services her English was terrible but established that
she did not do french kissing at all(idea made her giggle) only light pecks
(i interpreted her sign language) would be available.
So reluctantly i decided to leave it(thought with my head for a change)
despite her being friendly and pretty.
The Chinese guy(maid) who looks after the place has very limited English
so he wasn't much help unfortunately.

i was waiting for about an hour during which time 2 other punters arrived and 1 left
and it was musical chairs with the rooms to get us to avoid each other.
One punter who arrived was shown straight in to the other girl who had just finished.
At no stage did i see anyone apart from me use the bathroom(very cold att)
so i can only assume that the girls use wet wipes between punters when the brothel is
busy and that it can be a conveyor belt operation.
Madam is not on site and on the phone she can confirm girls' names but is not reliable
or that interested in confirming services.

Offline yumyum3

Thanks for the excellent update, NF. Sounds like things have gone even further downhill, if anything. At least two of us are clearly voting with our feet and I just wish more would do the same. From the sound of it, though, they're quite busy entertaining easily pleased fools with more money than sense who think with their dicks. It was best a few years ago when they had a long-serving mamasan who used to make sure you got looked after. When she was there she was a bit like Em at LMP and tried to make sure you got a good service; in my case, she would recommend particular ladies. Since she left the service has gone down the pan  :thumbsdown: And from what I gather from Bill Goldberg (well respected member on here) this mirrors much of the asian service in London these days. Over priced vanilla crap  :thumbsdown:

Sorry for the hijack but as you both seem like experienced massage connoisseurs is there any where else in south east london with hot young asians that offer a decent service. If they swallow that would be a huge plus

Offline LL

From the sound of it, though, they're quite busy entertaining easily pleased fools with more money than sense who think with their dicks.
And me earlier tonight. A not-so easily pleased fool with less money than sense and thinking with my dick (feeling hornier than a four-balled tomcat after having been let down by the original girl I'd actually booked).
Despite what I'd read here I went anyway as I was out of options. It seems like once I've got the idea into my head on a particular day then I just have to punt, on that day. I'd already travelled across town for a failed punt and this was on my way home - too easy. The punt was about as good as I was expecting really. Pretty-ish Asian lady with hardly any English but friendly enough. Vanilla service which is fine with me. My only complaint is that her body wasn't very firm. I guess she was around 40 - which is definitely not my preference. However she let me fuck her for 25 minutes solid and didn't nag me to cum or feign tiredness like most WGs do. So it did the job and I left with a spring in my step ;)

What I do like about this parlour/brothel is that it's extremely chilled out. The exact opposite of the place I went to earlier in the evening for a planned punt (I'll write about that another time). Entering the brothel reminds me of the scene at the end of "once upon a time in America". Robert Deniro's character goes into an opium den in 1920s New York City. There's barely a word spoken and the Chinese guy guides him in to a bed. The only difference here is that I'd be sampling the house girls and not the house opium pipe. It's quite surreal actually as I've been there a number of times and that Chinese guy is always there to let me in and out. I think he actually remembers me. Always so polite. "Good evening, sir". Perhaps his other job is a waiter in a Chinese restaurant.

What I do like about this parlour/brothel is that it's extremely chilled out...

100% agree i just wish i could get more info on the phone.

cause although this place is easy enough travel wise for convenience,
my problem as a fussy punter is i need a heads up on my specific
service requirement eg dfk/fk to make the journey worth while.

i had a place 4/5 years ago that did the job,ie i could ring up the madam
who was 70% reliable when confirming what services the girls offered
even if most of the time she exaggerated the girls' "beauty".But she and her
"shop" have long since fucked off back to China and i have been looking for
good replacement ever since.

if you are after a pump and dump close to central london with a friendly
girl this place could figure in your hot list but its a bit patchy for me.

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