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I'm stuck in traffic on the fucking Aston Expressway looking over Birmingham. It's a fucking dump. Ties with Liverpool as the worst place I've been in the last few years. That's saying something because the North is stacked with dead industry and ghost towns, where the kids are deprived and the parents depraved. Birmingham stretches as far as I can see. All the way to the horizon. There's no colour, just grey fucking warehouses and derelict buildings full of twatlike Jasper Carrott Brummies. There's some mist floating around but it's not natural beauty - more like poison from the traffic which has stacked up. Everyone wants to get out of Birmingham - can't blame them wanting to enjoy a bit of fucking civilisation - anything for a break from a lifetime stuck in a slum clearance like Birmingham. And I'm with Mark - about the closest thing I've got to a mate at work - although I still class him as a dippy cunt though. And he's pissed off as his missus is up the duff and he can't understand why.....so I give the drippy bastard a talking to - well mate - it's like this. Blokes have this lump of meat between their legs which fills with blood when it sniffs a bit of gash. The bird gets greased up when she sees the bloke. The man shoves this stiff object into the hole between the woman's legs, moves back and forward for a while, in your case a couple of seconds, and shoots off this white liquid. Nine months later if the timings right a screaming brat pops out and the cunt responsible for it gets to pay for the next 16 years. That's how it works Mark - I wouldn't lie to you mate. In its all the medical books and they tell you about it at school as well although on those days you were probably skiving off down the arcade on Space Invaders. What a cunt - and I have to work with him. And unknown to Mark, I've already made an appointment with Lexi Ryder whose done me a nice deal on 30 mins and I love fucking pornstars and she is one of the best - but I have to ditch Mark at the Travelodge first of all so he can go and wank over tomorrows PowerPoint slide deck he's presenting at out team building day. Should be fun. So next thing I'm finding my way through Birmingham to clement street and I'm on the phone to Lex and she's busy but then texts me back and and gives me the apartment number and I'm up the stairs and slightly buzzing from the couple of pints of Stella I've had on the way over here - and then the door is opening and Lexi looks filthy and like a porn actress and I'm thinking this is going to be awesome my friend and the apartment is nice and Lexi strips of and I'm getting out of my things, whilst she is shoving her fingers down her throat and bringing up massive strings of saliva and I'm sat on the bed opposite her and she is opening the poppers and then she is making me take 2 massive sniffs and already I can feel my head cave in and before I know it she is opening up my mouth and she is dribbling spit and saliva down onto my tongue and shoving her fingers down my throat so I start gagging on it - and I for some reason I start to think of Mark wanking over his Account Plans - and then I'm back in the room and Lexi is pulling my balls from behind and she is spitting on my arsehole and I'm totally fucked by this stage and I look in the mirror and Lexi is giving me a good view of her cunt as well and she's fingering herself and giving it some of the dirty talk which she is good at as well. And I'm taking more poppers and I'm on my back and she is on my cock with her mouth and giving it the proper porn star blowjob - spitting, biting, teasing, slapping my cock against her face and keeping eye contact all the time and I'm like this is proper good stuff and I've got the iPhone camera out and taking a picture of this as well with her on my cock and she looks awesome. And then I get her to pose for me while I wank myself into a frenzy of sexual gratification and she is gagging on her own fingers and dribbling saliva everywhere and and then I'm spurting and the poppers hits me like fuck and I have to sit quietly for 5 mins whilst I get my head back into gear. And then I'm heading back to the Travelodge and as I walk past I see Mark sat in the bar with his beer in hand and his laptop open and he sees me and smiles and waves like a cunt - but I feel ok with that and he gets me a beer in and I sit down and have a drink and I look outside at the procession on girls with short skirts and tight tops, looking from one pair of bouncing tits to the other and the blokes with their tattoos and complicated haircuts and I then look at Mark and i think about the poor fuckers on the plane crash in the Alps and I think it's good to be alive, don't care what anyone says, and when it comes down to it neither of us are anything special, just two ordinary blokes trying to do the right thing, going with the flow but keeping our eyes wide open, like you do.
Topic: Lexi Ryder (Read 3046 times)