I've had a number of occasions with girls where sex has very definitely been an afterthought, and on occasion hasn't happened at all as we have been wrapped up in each other doing other things.
One of the patterns I generally try to avoid on punts is getting into the whole formulaic routine - kiss, finger, bj, ro, sex., which I feel removes spontaneity. I find that mixing things up can keep the girl on her toes a little too and therefore 'in the room', rather than allowing her mind to wander to her shopping list...
I also hugely enjoy spending time playing with girls in different ways, and can get completely lost in that.
And isn't that what it should be about?