Chirama Turnpike Lane

[Flemstone]

Its my local Chinese massage place that does happy endings for £20. I've mentioned it many times but haven't done a review on it, and they've just renovated the place. Its looking a whole lot better. In the one room there's two therapy beds. Apparently its for couples who want to get massaged at the same time. I figured it was for  getting jerked off with your mate. Beds are close enough for high fives.

I was in there about two weeks ago and for some reason was struggling to get it up. Usually I ask for a happy start instead of ending, get it out and the way so you can relax. The manager is also the one treating me most of the time, she gave me a blue pill to take next time. So I did last Friday. I never book seeing as its around the corner so walked in at about 11:00. She's available so game on.  I lay on my front for a minute and said hang on, I've taken that blue pill. Lets sort him out now.

She agreed and got the oil out. Then the fun started. All in Chinese accent. Oh look how big that pill make you, look how strong your penis is now. Its never been this hard and strong. So she really could get to work on the equipment seeing as she didn't have to get it up.  I usually only last about a minute or two with these handjobs, but this went on for ages. Atleast five minutes. And she carries on, ah you see how long you last with that pill? About 15 minutes of back massage and I turn over again.

She starts rubbing my hip flexurs seeing as thats what I went in there for. Booing, my dick is hard again. So she's at it again. Look how big and strong, and she's wanking me pretty hard. I can tell I won't blow my bolt again. Been struggling with that anyway. She looked amped to get another load out.

Now I'm pretty sure all the girls working there do hand jobs, but its hard to get the manager to confirm this. I suggest you mention my name Mark the tattooed guy from around the corner, and check if you get the nod.  She's started this shitty facebook page so all the other info is on there. And if you actually need medicine or herbs, they will not rip you off.

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[ghighi]

Hi

Is 20 pounds including massage and happy ending? How much you spent in total?

[Flemstone]

I think a ten minute massage is about £10 -  £15. Half hour is £25 which is pretty reasonable.

[Flemstone]

Could one of the admin please delete this for me?

[LL]

Uh-oh I hope you've not put yourself into her bad books!
Otherwise no more cheapo blue-pill-assisted rub n tug for you!

[Flemstone]

No I've just realised it comes up on Google search.  They're not really into the internet,  but others are. I got half a finger up my arsehole yesterday.  I could have taken  more but I came almost immediately.

[Flemstone]

I'm scared to report this to admin. Last time I got blocked for asking to have a thread removed. So could one of the admin please delete this thread?

[darkknightrises]

I suggest you mention my name Mark the tattooed guy from around the corner, and check if you get the nod.

are you the guy in her facebook pics ?

[OldAdmin]

Site rules states reviews are not deleted.
As well a warning in red before someone posts a review that they'll not be deleted once posted.

[Flemstone]

OK you have your rules, but I did ask politely. So if there's any blowback from this you'll be responsible for hosting it. Yes its me in the pics.

[OldAdmin]

So if there's any blowback from this you'll be responsible for hosting it.

How will I sleep tonight 

[LL]

Yes its me in the pics.

So what did you get in return for featuring in their advertising (and promoting them here?)

[Flemstone]

Nothing,  just tried to do them a favour. Mainly because its a great service and they have never tried to sell me herbs. Fact is a few people have asked me about the place, but I said to much here.

[tonysoprano]

What are the girls like in there? I went by there the other day and wasn't too impressed with the ones sat in the front of the shop. Anyone decent looking in there?

Used to be some decent Chinese brothels in Haringey but they all seem to have disappeared.

[Flemstone]

For me its not just a rub and tug spot. There's two very good Dr's working there. So the happy ending is just a bonus. I had serious back pain earlier in the week and they sorted me out. Even gave me some free back patches to put on. That is why I rate the place. Its not just about how much money they can get off you. As for the Chinese brothels, there's one up near Bounds Green. In general Haringey has become unbelievably shit for a punt these days.

[Flemstone]

I'm happy to add that there are some attractive girls working there now. But their hand jobs aren't as good as the previous one. Its a bit hit and miss about who you get. The really hot one that works there now sucked my nipples and neck. Her massage was crap though. Then I asked for another girl earlier this week. Also quite attractive and a bit of a potty mouth. The girl who stuck her finger up my arse isn't there anymore. She also had a filthy mouth on her. I've spoken to the manager a few times recently. She has no idea how the internet works. Never heard of google so it looks like I'm safe.

I banged this a few days ago.

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Not bad but a bit quiet. She does what she says she will do. Smoking hot little body. Good blow job and wank at the end. Close to Manor House station. Not quite a positive because it was £60 for half an hour, and I hardly ever spend that much.

[khan84]

I saw this place today and booked an appointment - Will leave feed back upon my return.

Regards

[lovetopunt]

i have been there a few time and i sometime saw a man there and didn't go in cos i felt uncomfortable as he well know i was there for  a happy ending. anyone know who he is? the manager husband ? or owner of that place?

[tonysoprano]

Do any of the chinks do a blow job or full sex? Seems a bit pricey for just a rub and tug.

[lovetopunt]

as far as i know rub and tug only.

[Flemstone]

The bloke is a Dr and only works one day a week. Just rub and tug no BJ.