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Author Topic: Any guys Punt because your afraid of a relationship?  (Read 1350 times)

Offline tazz

Cant imagine that most people will be aware but some people have a genuing phobia of relationships and are too embarrassed to talk about sex. Its knows as as Fear of intimacy. Unfortunately i suffered this from my teens until my mid 30's. Messed my whole life up as i rarely went on any dates and when i finally did get a girlfriend she knew id never had one. This may sound crazy but a silly number of beautiful women made it clear they wanted me from the age of 15 but i just couldnt do much. Never even spent a night with a women until the age of 31 and we didnt go the whole way.I never knew why i just couldnt ask women out or genuingly want a realtionship and its now very hard for me to get into one.

This is the only reason i got into punting from my mid 20s and was never really happy doing it. With the rise of prossie review sites and girls from eastern europe providing a great service ive ended up loving it and even if i had a girlfriend id want to go with them.

Has anyone else on here had this or had any help to overcome it.

Yep. I'm married, which is why I punt!

tcm

Offline tazz

Yep. I'm married, which is why I punt!

tcm

I mean anyone had a fear of relationships and not had any.

Offline bod666

Christ i thought you were trolling not serious!

Does your phobia go so far as to not see the same wg twice? That might be the way to start to overcome it. Find a wg you like who gives a good gfe then see her regularly. I'll be impressed if you can keep it to sex and not have a nascent relationship form. I mean relationship here as in connecting with the girl as a person rather than an object. If you can only connect physically then you have a problem.

For me i was useless with women in my teens and early 20s - was always the non-sexual friend. Thank god for punting - i've made up for lost time and more than scratched the itch.

Offline bod666

So this fear of intimacy thing - you can talk to civvy girls but can't make the first or are too reserved to get them into bed? Do you only see escorts that jump you? I would imagine lots of wgs would take advantage of a guy that can't bring up the subject of sex and waste time chatting.

There is basically very little difference between a wg and a civvy girl. Wgs just tend to like sex more and be a bit more forward. You never know what you're getting with a civvy girl. However if you can make the first move with a wg then you can do the same with a civvy girl.

interesting...

Offline d00fer

Christ i thought you were trolling not serious!

Does your phobia go so far as to not see the same wg twice? That might be the way to start to overcome it. Find a wg you like who gives a good gfe then see her regularly. I'll be impressed if you can keep it to sex and not have a nascent relationship form. I mean relationship here as in connecting with the girl as a person rather than an object. If you can only connect physically then you have a problem.

Never had the OP's problem myself, and I get the sentiment, but there's limited value in this approach IMO.

The danger would be from EAS, especially if OP did multiple punts with some some of the top GFE providers reviewed on here. It could go either way though. If EAS ensued given his lack of real relationship experience it could be damaging and possibly lead to stalker-ish behaviour. If it went the other way and OP still somehow didn't feel anything, then it'd be time to seek the advice of a professional. I think the latter is the best approach in this case given what limited info we've got.

Never had the OP's problem myself, and I get the sentiment, but there's limited value in this approach IMO.

The danger would be from EAS, especially if OP did multiple punts with some some of the top GFE providers reviewed on here. It could go either way though. If EAS ensued given his lack of real relationship experience it could be damaging and possibly lead to stalker-ish behaviour. If it went the other way and OP still somehow didn't feel anything, then it'd be time to seek the advice of a professional. I think the latter is the best approach in this case given what limited info we've got.

+1 i don't have a phobia but many aspects of typical relationship are very unappealing to me. Because i haven't been in one for a while now i have to tip toe to avoid EAS when it comes to some top GFE out there.

If you think you have a problem and it lowers the quality of your life i would say it's worth doing something about it. Don't really know what i would do myself in that situation so can't help. I think i do partially understand where you're coming from. Hope you'll figure it out m8.

Offline willbred

Interesting. I started punting before I met my wife. I wasn't in a relationship and civvy sex, or getting it was frustrating. I stopped punting for a bit when I met my wife, started again , stopped when we got married, but 6 months after, was back at it again.  25 years later still married and punting.
Banning reason: Multiple accounts (willbred, Diplomat65)

Offline tazz

As i said in my post this is a problem i have largely over come and i can go on dates. I started off only seeing a WG once, then went back to see a WG id seen about 3 years before. Now i will often see the same WG if i get on really well with her a number of times. Only problem for me is that i can easily fall in love and repeatedly seeing the same WG could lead to this. I still think about a few WGs who really likes me over 2 years ago.

Had a close friend from school who would never ask any women out, a bit pf a mummys boy and i never ever knew him to go on any dates. Severe shyness and lack of confidence were the main reason together with depression. Another friend never hit on women until he was 29. Ive heard about lots of men not losing their virginity until they hit 30. The worst thing for me has been not being able to explain this to people and just evading questions about my personal life.

Offline thefoxman

There is basically very little difference between a wg and a civvy girl. Wgs just tend to like sex more and be a bit more forward.
You never know what you're getting with a civvy girl. However if you can make the first move with a wg then you can do the same with a civvy girl.
Big difference is that in civvy date you say the wrong thing once - it kills the night (and maybe kills your chances forever with that girl)
No such risk with a WG - she'll ignore your "wrong moves" as you're paying of course.

Punting is great for boosting confidence though !

I don't have a phobia of relationships, but I do have no interest in being in a relationship at present. I was stupid enough to get married when I was 20 and was divorced at 24  :dash: I tried to do the whole young free and single thing for a bit by going out and trying (badly) to pull civvy girls. After a while I realised WG's are cheaper and a hell of a lot easier to get into bed! Plus I've always found the idea of paying a girl who would normally be out of my league for sex a turn on.

I do get the idea of people being afraid of committing though, a mate of mine is forever going out on dates and whenever it seems like he's found a nice girl he bricks it and comes up with a reason to end things before they've even begun.

Offline Aspen

As i said in my post this is a problem i have largely over come and i can go on dates. I started off only seeing a WG once, then went back to see a WG id seen about 3 years before. Now i will often see the same WG if i get on really well with her a number of times. Only problem for me is that i can easily fall in love and repeatedly seeing the same WG could lead to this. I still think about a few WGs who really likes me over 2 years ago.

Had a close friend from school who would never ask any women out, a bit pf a mummys boy and i never ever knew him to go on any dates. Severe shyness and lack of confidence were the main reason together with depression. Another friend never hit on women until he was 29. Ive heard about lots of men not losing their virginity until they hit 30. The worst thing for me has been not being able to explain this to people and just evading questions about my personal life.

I can relate to this although 29/30 seems a bit extreme. However dating girls who are wary and nervous about what might be expected of them sexually I find very boring and tedious, and always have done. They con you into spending time with them and have no intention of going any further, and string you along endlessly if you let them. Such a large percentage are like it that I just avoid it altogether.
Banning reason: Secret barebacker who used the name "Loneranger" to slag off UKP and spread malicious claims against admin + Previously banned as "overhead". Also known as "Warwick"

Offline Quesadilla

I wasn't the most confident at school, was raised by a strict Catholic mother who was totally anti-sex and anti-girls so I didn't have a clue how to talk to girls. Eventually became an issue - the whole sex thing hanging over me made me very nervous whenever talking to girls, so in the end I decided to punt to get me over it.  The sex the first time was a bit of an anti-climax frankly which definitely helped.  Punted a couple of times in the UK, then a handful of times during trips to Amsterdam's RLD, all of which were not exactly great experiences but got me over my nerves around women.  Had no problem chatting women up after that.  Dated a bunch before finding someone and getting married.  All fine for 10 years, was never remotely tempted to punt, but then over the last 3 years the sex dried up and when we finally split punting was the first thing on my mind.

Not in any hurry to try a civvy relationship again - not through commitment phobia, just need some time to a) tick off a bunch of items on my sexual bucket list and b) decide what I actually want from another relationship.  I dare say if I found a lady who was a total nympho I could be persuaded to commit again.
Banning reason: Obnoxious and arrogant + Veiled threat of outing punter on UKE

Offline Aspen

I wasn't the most confident at school, was raised by a strict Catholic mother who was totally anti-sex and anti-girls so I didn't have a clue how to talk to girls. Eventually became an issue - the whole sex thing hanging over me made me very nervous whenever talking to girls, so in the end I decided to punt to get me over it.  The sex the first time was a bit of an anti-climax frankly which definitely helped.  Punted a couple of times in the UK, then a handful of times during trips to Amsterdam's RLD, all of which were not exactly great experiences but got me over my nerves around women.  Had no problem chatting women up after that.  Dated a bunch before finding someone and getting married.  All fine for 10 years, was never remotely tempted to punt, but then over the last 3 years the sex dried up and when we finally split punting was the first thing on my mind.

That's a very common scenario. My mother made it very clear that girls weren't welcome in our house (which always struck me as odd seeing she was one herself), and I remember a couple of my friends at school suffered in the same way. Just as there were girls whose parents wouldn't let them out. Not as bad as the guy a bit younger than me in the next street though. His mother was unmarried and lived with her two older spinster sisters who were both very anti men and they all kept the lad on a very short rein and watched him like a hawk to make sure he didn't get friendly with any girls. The atmosphere in the house was always strange, and strained, and most of us only went round there when bored and had nothing else to do. He's still living at home on his own many years later although the three women have all passed on. His social skills got totally screwed.

Not in any hurry to try a civvy relationship again - not through commitment phobia, just need some time to a) tick off a bunch of items on my sexual bucket list and b) decide what I actually want from another relationship.  I dare say if I found a lady who was a total nympho I could be persuaded to commit again.

You won't find one. There are not as many around as folklore would have you think, and those that do exist are mostly so oddball that they are not partnership material.
Banning reason: Secret barebacker who used the name "Loneranger" to slag off UKP and spread malicious claims against admin + Previously banned as "overhead". Also known as "Warwick"

Offline Quesadilla


You won't find one. There are not as many around as folklore would have you think, and those that do exist are mostly so oddball that they are not partnership material.

My theory is that those women who genuinely are nymphos and really love sex almost more often than not wind up as escorts. I'm sure after getting picked up by various deadbeats who can barely afford to buy them dinner the idea of actually getting paid cash for doing something they genuinely enjoy soon occurs to them. 

Banning reason: Obnoxious and arrogant + Veiled threat of outing punter on UKE

Offline Aspen

My theory is that those women who genuinely are nymphos and really love sex almost more often than not wind up as escorts. I'm sure after getting picked up by various deadbeats who can barely afford to buy them dinner the idea of actually getting paid cash for doing something they genuinely enjoy soon occurs to them.

Hard to disagree with that.

Probably a high proportion of genuine nymphos are escorts, but not many escorts are nymphos though.
Banning reason: Secret barebacker who used the name "Loneranger" to slag off UKP and spread malicious claims against admin + Previously banned as "overhead". Also known as "Warwick"

I mean anyone had a fear of relationships and not had any.


Not exactly a fear but I was very shy & self conscious in my late teens & twenties & never got into a relationship until I was in my thirties. This didn't last as all she wanted was to get a ring on her finger as fast as she could & it was too fast for me.  :scare:

 I've been single since then & don't mind it one bit, especially seeing how my friends & brother struggle with married life & all the demands that go with it. I punt a couple of times a month & love it & can only see me stopping if I meet someone who has a high sex drive & shares a lot in common. I'm not interested in having a relationship just for the sake of it & I'm glad I'm at an age where I know what I want.

"I wasn't the most confident at school, was raised by a strict Catholic mother who was totally anti-sex and anti-girls "

Bloody religion i was bought up Katlick but I don't blame my mum she was indoctrinated and didn't know any better certainly left its mark



"nill beddum till weddum"

At the moment commitment phobia is what keeps me away from a relationship. I just don't have the time to wine and dine a girl and put up with all their bullshit as I'm really busy with other commitments. If a girl did come along and our chemistry clicked I'd know from the onset and would try to make the time for her, but she'd had to have a good sex drive. Right now thats not happening and I'm content to just banging the odd prossie every now and then.

Offline Quesadilla

"I wasn't the most confident at school, was raised by a strict Catholic mother who was totally anti-sex and anti-girls "

Bloody religion i was bought up Katlick but I don't blame my mum she was indoctrinated and didn't know any better certainly left its mark

"nill beddum till weddum"

I was indoctrinated too but it didn't take me too long to realise it was all a load of baloney fairy tales. Probably took me about 20 minutes from wiping the last tear away after being told Santa Claus wasn't real to realise god wasn't real either.  Your whole life you've been told there's these two magical white haired dudes who make all your dreams come true - and then you get told one is a lie and are expected to believe the other one's real?  Bull-Shit!  :lol: 

Not sure I agree they "don't know any better" - I think the ones that appear really religious cling onto it out of fear - but they all know deep down it's bullshit. 
Banning reason: Obnoxious and arrogant + Veiled threat of outing punter on UKE

Nope!

Punted all the way through long term highly sexual relationships
and punted while single
Really makes no difference

No intimacy issues which of course is one the many things that the anti prostitution brigade like to throw at punters


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