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Author Topic: Red Paperwork  (Read 2663 times)

Offline Zeusthedoc

Alternatively, Leave them in an unmarked brown paper bag in the bin on (blah blah street), tomorrow at 10am precisely.

Come back 24hrs later for a combination of 10s & 20s. I promise.


On a more serious note, I've yet to have any WG refuse any form of cash I've offered - Including 50s and in my younger punting days where I'd be 'upsold' for extras...£10 in pound coins. I felt like a cunt doing it, but I was young and had a hard-on and we were both naked. I would have given her my debit card and PIN number if she'd asked for it.

Offline anyfucker

Adding to that don't use your own bank, last time I tried to change notes they said I had to pay it into my account and then withdraw it again.

...
this is fairly standard Anti Money Laundering practise now.

Offline Borat

Go to a bookies and stick two of them in the machine and do a phantom spin or whatever and cash out.

Offline Malvolio

I've used fifties a couple of times and not have a problem - you'd think that if the WG really objected she'd say so on her profile. 

More to the point, once you've made the booking, turn up and offer the fifties, if she turns them down she's probably just lost her potential earnings for that period of time.

Or.......instead of avoiding tax, CSA etc etc, take the £2k and open a bank account for your kids only accessible when they hit 18, deposit it in there and set them up for University etc.

But as you're struggling. Go down to the Casino, get some chips, play a while, go back and cash out with £20's

Offline webpunter

The suggestions above all seem pukka:

- do your shopping in cash.  Take out 100 in 20's + 10's & pay with 50's.  And swap over
- pay for small items in supermarket & take the change
- argos never seem to quibble over returned items
- pay for fuel in cash / again taking this out & swapping over.  Like say 50 quid.  Exact.  What are they going to do - not take your money.  Just check for no £50 note signs
- go punting with 50's and the same as back up in 10's & 20's.  Doubt if the girlies will check.  Especially if you have good FB.  Or pay like for 90/hr with a 50 & 2 * 20's.  Saying keep the change with 2 * 50's on the same won't do any harm.  And once the AW girlie knows you pay in 50's and these are pukka then she won't ask questions the next time.  Sure they are pretty good at checking money [they will see far more 50's than most of us]
- pay for your Nokia PAYG top ups in 50's & get these in 10's

Deffo AVOID setting up bank a/c's - online or otherwise.  Easy-ish for CSA to check

Enjoy the problem of spending thru the 2k rather than worrying about it !


Offline bensonhedges20

Go Into any Asian shop and ask if they want any English fifties and will swap for lower notes.

You may even know someone.already.

They need them as it's less to carry back.home to.visits to Asia.

Also any working girl who works in a city will accept them.

Or if you can't - A bank will swap a couple hundred for you no problem without showing the account if you say you need change
Banning reason: Troll

Offline SamLP

If your credit card bill is paid by dd, change it so you get a bill, and then pay the bill by cash at the bank.
As mentioned above plenty of times, pay for your shopping, fuel and any other expenses including punting with the 50's. They will be gone soon enough, or save them for when you go on holiday and exchange them for the local currency.

I don't want to bank it myself  as whilst I am not self employed don't want this additional money going through bank statements because of CSA etc...

You are seriously on here asking how you can deny your child money so you can spend it on prostitutes?

You are a fucking cunt . . .

Offline Pauluk1

You are seriously on here asking how you can deny your child money so you can spend it on prostitutes?

You are a fucking cunt . . .

To be fair, the CSA get in touch and ask for your last last 2 months payslips at random times.  If you have had a good month at work they will base future payments on those payslips. I've been had after working a few weeks of nights, then the assessment came.   The CSA is mainly run by men hating women.  In my experience anyway.

You are seriously on here asking how you can deny your child money so you can spend it on prostitutes?

You are a fucking cunt . . .

Like I said earlier I pay regular maintenance and also treat them when I have them.  I don't need to explain or justify myself to you sat behind a keyboard. It was a one off payment so shouldn't alter my regular monthly payment.

Couple of grand so thought I would treat myself on that occasion.
Actually if you do have 50's you could look to take them to a casino; change them into chips then play a bit at different tables and then cash them in but request 20's
Think there are limits now though if you aren't a member to stop money laundering etc

On these lines..

The casino could issue a cheque for those "winning" chips
or
Go the local betting office and have £2k on a non-runner, get a cheque
or
Feed them into the roulette machines, have £1 on red and black and cash out and get a cheque.

Put through the bank, it now has a betting trail and these winnings are tax free for HMRC purposes.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2015, 08:22:31 AM by squeezebox »

Offline Matrix

"Looks like he'd give you change of a $9 bill in 3's"

The Eiger sanction

Offline daveev

go into the book makers put 50 in the roulette, 24 on red 24 on black ans 2 on zero, i know you'll lose £2 in the 50 but if it hits zero you get 72, take your ticket and cash it at the counter,

ok chaps few ideas there to consider/use..... :cool: :cool:

I dont accept them as I have been caught out more than once with the bloody things (once from my bank) but then I state this on my profile so everyone is aware.  The fakes are very good nowadays and even the pens and lights don't always work. 
I don't know about other women and I imagine asking them if they accept them may make them think something dodgy is going on.  Try and see is all you can do.  Saying that why not just go to your bank and ask them to change them for smaller notes.  Many smaller shops don't accept them anymore so I am sure banks are used to people swapping them out.

Would you accept the new plastic ones that are due to come out soon?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-25427663

Offline Bobbob84

Is this a wind up?

The OP is "clever" enough to earn a reasonable amount from cash in hand jobs and at the same time realises the CSA and HMRC (let alone his (ex)wife or kids) would be over him like a tramp on chips if they found out. He's also clearly so crafty he can be a punter, presumably with only us knowing.

Can the OP really be so feckless he can't work out how to spend a few £50 notes without taking advice on how to money launder from a group of strangers?

OP - this is genuine advice, declare all your money, pay all your taxes NI etc and take as many £20s out the ATM as you want and you'll have noting to worry about. You are clearly too thick to deal with lying and cheating.

Offline Jimmyredcab



OP - this is genuine advice, declare all your money, pay all your taxes NI etc and take as many £20s out the ATM as you want and you'll have noting to worry about.

Or take my advice.

Go to a casino, put £300 into a slot machine and then push the cash out option, you will get a ticket to draw the cash from a machine that looks like an ATM, it will give you twenties.

Repeat this until you have changed up the whole £2 grand, problem solved.

Offline webpunter

Or take my advice.

Go to a casino, put £300 into a slot machine and then push the cash out option, you will get a ticket to draw the cash from a machine that looks like an ATM, it will give you twenties.

Repeat this until you have changed up the whole £2 grand, problem solved.
Simples !

Offline webpunter

The CSA is mainly run by men hating women
I'm sure they volunteer - because they are pig ugly bitches who have been dumped.  Usually when the bloke wakes up from the mother of all sessions & thinks WTF  :scare:  They spend the rest of their time on Mnet.  Or in some local support set-up where they can all have a good moan together
I know plenty of blokes paying maintenance & if they thought that their kids would see the benefit they'd happily pay.  But when it goes on their ex having botox / buying shoes / subsidizing some useless hanger-on boyfriend they can FRO.  Hence they go for the minimum & then give stuff to the kids direct.  Then check that the bitch hasn't put stuff on eBay.  Easy once you know their profile name.  I'd go for a 80 / 20 split [in my favour & burn £1,600 on hookering, having a good time & occasionally picking up civvies [got to keep your hand in !]]

Is this a wind up?

The OP is "clever" enough to earn a reasonable amount from cash in hand jobs and at the same time realises the CSA and HMRC (let alone his (ex)wife or kids) would be over him like a tramp on chips if they found out. He's also clearly so crafty he can be a punter, presumably with only us knowing.

Can the OP really be so feckless he can't work out how to spend a few £50 notes without taking advice on how to money launder from a group of strangers?

OP - this is genuine advice, declare all your money, pay all your taxes NI etc and take as many £20s out the ATM as you want and you'll have noting to worry about. You are clearly too thick to deal with lying and cheating.

Putting aside all your wild speculative theories, at no point did I ask how to change 50's to 20's. I simply asked in the punters experience do WG generally take fifties.


Offline gorge

You shouldn't really be discussing this on an open forum - If I were admin I would remove this topic. Where'as punting is legal what the OP is asking is not and this forum doesn't need any more publicity


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