You have been found out and are embarassing yourself.
Any lady that knows me knows I'm a tight git (25% jock genes) and not a walking wallet.
I can see how the conversation with your honest 'ladies' (add truthful to that) would go
WG 'wanna shag hinny'
Lurtz 'No thanks, luv, but I'd love to talk'
WG 'the last punters cock was huge'
Lurtz 'tell me more, luv'
Well, it wasn't quite like that but I can see you're trying.
Lurtz sitting in the living room chatting to maid.
WG1 wipes fanny with wet wipe, saunters into room, lights up a fag and takes a slurp of cold coffee.
WG2 to WG1: Was Punter Pete wearing stocking & suspenders today?
WG1: Yep. And he brought a 4 inch dildo with him.
WG2: Bigger than his cock then.
WG1: And thicker too.
WG2: Did he spit on your fanny?
WG1: Yep, and it dripped down to my ringpiece.
WG2 turns to Lurtz and asks: Why do guys think we like our fannies dripping with saliva?
Lurtz: Cos they're idiots. Did he make you orgasm.
WG1: He thought he did. [Everyone laughs etc]