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Author Topic: Ever taken a shit during a punt?  (Read 5304 times)

Offline west8

Had a yule-sized log pressing for the entire duration of a punt last night, but simply couldn't bring myself to go on a bombing run whilst using the shower.

So, I held it in.

Big mistake.

Anyone ever had that experience? If so, did you grin and bear it or smear the porcelain?

Offline Jeremy

Never had to personally - always try to 'empty out' before heading to a punt - but it would depend on the kind of shit. Sometimes you can feel if it's going to be hard and heavy, or soft and loose. The former, while making more of an audible splash, rarely leaves traces behind. I would consider that 'safe'.

Offline AnthG

I was worried on my overnight back in 2013 this may occur. So I took a box of matches with me and hid them in the bathroom.

The girl then seen the box of matches and said why have you brought a box of matches with you and hidden them in the bathroom. An embarrassed explanation then ensured (it was either that or have her think I am some crazy arsonist and have her be on edge over night).

But if you are worried this is what to take and just hide better than men.

Offline CoolTiger

Never had to personally - always try to 'empty out' before heading to a punt - but it would depend on the kind of shit. Sometimes you can feel if it's going to be hard and heavy, or soft and loose. The former, while making more of an audible splash, rarely leaves traces behind. I would consider that 'safe'.

On these occassions, just prior to having the shit, flush the toilet. That way you have approx 30 seconds to 1 minute when the noise of the water filling up the tank should be able to mask any misfiring noises you make!  :D

Offline west8

On these occassions, just prior to having the shit, flush the toilet. That way you have approx 30 seconds to 1 minute when the noise of the water filling up the tank should be able to mask any misfiring noises you make!  :D

hahaha! Another fool proof method is to generously line the bowl with a few layers of paper - it lessens the 'thud' of a log hitting the bowl.

Offline CoolTiger

hahaha! Another fool proof method is to generously line the bowl with a few layers of paper - it lessens the 'thud' of a log hitting the bowl.

For those having cofee/breaklfast.... look away now!!

aah... but then that stinks the toilet out even faster...... as the water has not colled it down, so the steam will stink out the loo even faster.

Solution.... Flush the toilet AGAIN, within 30 seconds of doing the main deed, as having done the main part within a minute of sitting down, quite often nothing major happens for the next few mins.

Offline James999

I was worried on my overnight back in 2013 this may occur. So I took a box of matches with me and hid them in the bathroom.
The girl then seen the box of matches and said why have you brought a box of matches with you and hidden them in the bathroom.

Hang on Anth, need to break this down, in summary you are saying that

A  you are unable to even hide a box of matches and
B you met with a pro$$ie so weird that she went looking for and found a hidden box of matches?

 :unknown:

Offline AnthG

A  you are unable to even hide a box of matches

Its not like there is a safe in the bathroom of Travelodges.

Anth. If your shits are that bad the last thing you should be doing is lighting a match in a confined space.  :D

Offline akauya

Anth. If your shits are that bad the last thing you should be doing is lighting a match in a confined space.  :D



 :scare:


Offline Jay-Jay

Didn't need to offload but went to wash my hands on arrival at the flat a regular uses. We arrived together and she went to brew up. As I flushed and washed afterwards could see hear and smell that the drains had a problem,(not caused by me I'll add quickly) and on entering the kitchen area could smell the "drain" smell permeating in there.I said,"can you not smell that...think there's a problem with the drains ?" Her reply, "Oh,I just thought you'd had a poo !" Cheeky fooker !

Jay

Had a yule-sized log pressing for the entire duration of a punt last night, but simply couldn't bring myself to go on a bombing run whilst using the shower.

So, I held it in.

Big mistake.

Anyone ever had that experience? If so, did you grin and bear it or smear the porcelain?

So what happened, did you have an accident mid coitus?

Offline nigel4498

So what happened, did you have an accident mid coitus?
My guess is it just came out his mouth as usual.


Offline Zeusthedoc

I once had a pretty bad stomach ache/runs etc...

was in the car and suddenly needed to explode, luckily i was nearby a 'parlour' i frequented often at the time - I went in and asked to use the loo pre-punt (they had an en-suite in one of the rooms and a loo upstairs and downstairs)...i went to the en-suite and then waited in the room, didn't fancy the look of any of the girls and so apologised (to the maid) and left.

went back another day and it was business as usual. miss that place (it's closed now) probably because people used it as a service station more than a parlour.


Offline Stiltskin

Solution.... Flush the toilet AGAIN, within 30 seconds of doing the main deed, as having done the main part within a minute of sitting down, quite often nothing major happens for the next few mins.

If this is a single hotel room, with all that flushing the girl is going to be sat there the other side of the door thinking you've just had the shit from hell!

Had a yule-sized log pressing for the entire duration of a punt last night, but simply couldn't bring myself to go on a bombing run whilst using the shower.

So, I held it in.

Big mistake.

Anyone ever had that experience? If so, did you grin and bear it or smear the porcelain?


Anything like this??

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7l6jg4Hlog

  :lol: :lol:

Offline raylondoner

 Surely the easy solution is to book a girl that does ''Hard Sports - Receiving''?   :scare:

Offline west8

Surely the easy solution is to book a girl that does ''Hard Sports - Receiving''?   :scare:

ffs .. you try reading that whilst eating scrambled eggs! There goes my lunch.

Offline Trevor12

On these occassions, just prior to having the shit, flush the toilet. That way you have approx 30 seconds to 1 minute when the noise of the water filling up the tank should be able to mask any misfiring noises you make!  :D

 :lol: :lol: Don't think that would be enough to mask the explosive nature of some of my bowel movements!

Offline CBPaul

Why was it a mistake to hold it in ? Did Murtle the Turtle put in an appearance during anal play ??

I wouldn't have a great problem with taking a dump midway through a punt though, if the facilities lack extraction, air freshener and a bog brush then what do they expect ? Can't say I've met many females who leave the bog smelling of fresh flowers either so it's not just a male thing.

To answer the question, no I've never taken a dump during a punt, I evacuate some time before a punt, and make sure my ring piece is well polished afterwards. I did have a strung out street prossie get out of the car for a piss and promptly shat herself on route to the bushes. She was amazingly pissed off that I wouldn't let her back in the car for some reason and still called me a cunt after I took pity and gave her my wet wipe supply before driving off. No pleasing some.

Offline west8

Why was it a mistake to hold it in ? Did Murtle the Turtle put in an appearance during anal play ??

I had no choice. It was either clench and bear time or risk re-painting her eggshell walls with a certain brown artex.

I must be thick, what the fuck is the hiding  matches etc all about? Please explain?


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