Advice needed please.

[Ben_Dover]

I am a cabbie.

last year i had a punt with a very old escort i used to see once a month. shes not the most attractive or the best service however as i saw her more and more she grew on me like music or some foods. accquired taste.

now shes been great. we had many meets. paid and free. i made sure i met her at least once a month paid due to the fact i did not want to feel like a cunt going and having free sex and then she insisting i pay. i wanted to keep the friendship good and professional side too.

how did we become friends.

well i stopped punting for a while.

jan or feb 2014 i went to buy a car.

i got sick and tired of waiting and was leaving as i saw her. i reconised her and approached her.

as i began telling her about how long i waited and wanted to leave she insited i wait for her. she was on her lunch etc.

so she helped me. was very good. when we sat in the car for a test drive i parked up. checked few things with her regarding the commerical use and fianace and that what i said i remember you etc.

she did not try to hide the fact she was a WG nor did she deny me anything i reminded her off.

she 100% accpeted and said she was still on the game part time, same location different house and she had been away for ages.

(prison) i am 90% sure as one of her friends told me about her scam and why she wont ever be back.

anyhow we exchanged numbers and i called and text her.

we bacame phone buddies. met few times.

now she was always avaibale when ever  i said lets go out or can we meet.

we would smoke. chit chat and have good sex. time well spent for both.

she never faked anything as nothing is to fake.

since september she has been dropping hints. directing me to things. basicly pacing and leading me into..... MONEY.

lets say evening together of 3 or 4 hours she is dropping 2 or 3 hints, leading me into SPENDING money.

car, house, rent, bills and shopping.

AT first i thought shes a working girl and feels shes providing a service even though its OUT OF LOCATION and at HER PERSONAL HOME.

i felt like a muppet and always carried some money just incase.

the more i thought about it the more i realise now shes infact trying to get money out of me. not for the service aka sex or time BUT more like GIVE me money beacuse.

i also know nothing she says is legitmate or even the truth as i know alot of things about her.

she always insists she wants raw cash. she always talks about how other people have no issues.

one thing good i did i slipped her few stories justifying my own postion over time so she clearly knew she was getting nothing large out of me.

1 hour with her is £80

i have avereaged out that including meeting her once a month professional i have paid her close to £200 per month since march / april.

she is not my GF and never will be.

We are not in a relationship.

when ever we go out i pay.

I do give her gifts.

if we include that then we can say about £250 per month i am out of pocket per month.

if i dont do it now i feel she will end it.
if i contuine its money in the bog as nothing will come out of it.

now question is what ever we have is it worth £250? answer is no.

i dont want to regret anything. i dont want to fuck anything up.

how do i stop the £250?
how do i make her stop showing me broken things that need buying.
how do i make her stop hinting and pacing me into thinking shes wanting money.

i am 50% sure i am being cheated.

conclusion of this post is. shes trying to get more and more money out of me. AND i do have feelings for her. feelings is not love. i think of her as a friend and we do things together.

for her i am an ATM machine without personal cost.

so WTF do i do?

[385North]

Simple. Stop giving her money and you'll discover just how much of special friend you really are to her.

[hendrix]

Simple. Stop giving her money and you'll discover just how much of special friend you really are to her.

+1

It's amazing how that works

[Boundless]

I loved that comment a while ago when a punter said the girl had texted him saying "I'm so wet for you"

Someone replied: Turn up without your wallet and see just how wet she is.

Still makes me chuckle 

[yorkshire123]

As in real life this message ensures that she will fuck off & find another one to use

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Sedlmayer]

Do your research on here, and go and have a couple of really good punts with other girls.
Maybe go right outside your comfort zone with a party, or a threesome.
Don't see her for at least a month or so.
Everything will float into perspective - you've got your eyes open already and can see the situation for what it is.

[house music dave]

There are guys on here  a hell of a  lot wiser than me. Key fact is you need to stop paying her money. How do you do that? It'll be tough for sure as you have developed feelings for her as  a friend, but a good friend wouldn't keep tapping you up for money.

1) So you need to see her in a different light and recalibrate your thinking, this will stop you feeling guilty when you can't lend to her.
2) recognise that a hell of a lot of the population have financial issues, this is how it is in 2015, a lot of stuff in financed on debt her situation isn't unique, she is not a "hard luck" story, just another individual.
3) put the money that you would be lending to her somewhere where it is harder for you to access, so you physically won't be able to reach the cash.

Remember anyone who is smart even if they are in debt or need new shit will make do with what they have and work out repayment agreements with debtors. She clearly is smart and has seen you as an easy mark, but you have to change the narrative and change the way she see's you, if you can't go cold turkey and cut her off, say you've just had a big bill or have lent money to family.

In terms of changing the way you act it isn't that difficult once you have decided you don't have the money, i myself am on a budget and just wouldn't lend money to people as you won't get it back, it's not hard in this day and age to tell someone you work on a budget, most people do they just have different budgets.

HMD         

 

[squeezebox]

Just say your circumstances have changed and your now on job seekers allowance.  Your cab is off the road indefinitely. 

Then change your sim card and cut up the old one.

[cueball]

Simple. Stop giving her money and you'll discover just how much of special friend you really are to her.

I'm afraid this lad has it spot on.

The best advice was mentioned earlier, have a few really good punts with new girls and she'll fade in your thoughts.

[portable]

It's already been said, just stop giving her money, but play the long game, especially if you do genuinely get on with her. I'd say just see her socially (if you do like her company), but let her contact you.

If you go for a meal and it's a little expensive, ask her outright if she can chip something in. Suggest you are a little skint.

But never fuck her, paid or otherwise. Make up any excuse you want if she feels hard done by. New years resolution, you have medical problems, you've fell for someone else, whatever.

Then keep that up. Only let her contact you, and only see her for a meal or whatever, never fuck her, never give her any money. Eventually she might get desperate and just ask you for money. Just tell her you're skint, saving up for something, and you're sorry you can't help out, you've got to be strict with yourself.

If she keeps pestering you, you've every right to tell her to get lost and stop bothering you. You'd help her if you could, just not financially.

Let her go, don't fuck her, or ever give her money, but if you do get on with her, advise her. Help her in other ways, like if you can help her get a job somewhere or whatever.

 

[OakTree]

We are not in a relationship.

Yeah you are and relationships can be ended. I'd end it right now as she's taking you for a mug. Sorry mate but that's how it is.

[Urfi]

You fucking mug, what you need to do is get to B&Q and buy a 25 metre roll of polythene. Cover all your room of choice with it including the entry and then leave a couple of carving knifes on a little table in the middle of the room, maybe a claw hammer and chisels too, don't forget to splash a bit of tomato ketchup around also. Invite her round on an out call and try and look like Peter Sutcliffe when she walks in.
I promise she will fuck off and leave you alone.
If I was you I would probably stick to having one off the wrist.
Good luck.

[Pompoy123]

I am a cabbie.

last year i had a punt with a very old escort i used to see once a month. shes not the most attractive or the best service however as i saw her more and more she grew on me like music or some foods. accquired taste.

now shes been great. we had many meets. paid and free. i made sure i met her at least once a month paid due to the fact i did not want to feel like a cunt going and having free sex and then she insisting i pay. i wanted to keep the friendship good and professional side too.

how did we become friends.

well i stopped punting for a while.

jan or feb 2014 i went to buy a car.

i got sick and tired of waiting and was leaving as i saw her. i reconised her and approached her.

as i began telling her about how long i waited and wanted to leave she insited i wait for her. she was on her lunch etc.

so she helped me. was very good. when we sat in the car for a test drive i parked up. checked few things with her regarding the commerical use and fianace and that what i said i remember you etc.

she did not try to hide the fact she was a WG nor did she deny me anything i reminded her off.

she 100% accpeted and said she was still on the game part time, same location different house and she had been away for ages.

(prison) i am 90% sure as one of her friends told me about her scam and why she wont ever be back.

anyhow we exchanged numbers and i called and text her.

we bacame phone buddies. met few times.

now she was always avaibale when ever  i said lets go out or can we meet.

we would smoke. chit chat and have good sex. time well spent for both.

she never faked anything as nothing is to fake.

since september she has been dropping hints. directing me to things. basicly pacing and leading me into..... MONEY.

lets say evening together of 3 or 4 hours she is dropping 2 or 3 hints, leading me into SPENDING money.

car, house, rent, bills and shopping.

AT first i thought shes a working girl and feels shes providing a service even though its OUT OF LOCATION and at HER PERSONAL HOME.

i felt like a muppet and always carried some money just incase.

the more i thought about it the more i realise now shes infact trying to get money out of me. not for the service aka sex or time BUT more like GIVE me money beacuse.

i also know nothing she says is legitmate or even the truth as i know alot of things about her.

she always insists she wants raw cash. she always talks about how other people have no issues.

one thing good i did i slipped her few stories justifying my own postion over time so she clearly knew she was getting nothing large out of me.

1 hour with her is £80

i have avereaged out that including meeting her once a month professional i have paid her close to £200 per month since march / april.

she is not my GF and never will be.

We are not in a relationship.

when ever we go out i pay.

I do give her gifts.

if we include that then we can say about £250 per month i am out of pocket per month.

if i dont do it now i feel she will end it.
if i contuine its money in the bog as nothing will come out of it.

now question is what ever we have is it worth £250? answer is no.

i dont want to regret anything. i dont want to fuck anything up.

how do i stop the £250?
how do i make her stop showing me broken things that need buying.
how do i make her stop hinting and pacing me into thinking shes wanting money.

i am 50% sure i am being cheated.

conclusion of this post is. shes trying to get more and more money out of me. AND i do have feelings for her. feelings is not love. i think of her as a friend and we do things together.

for her i am an ATM machine without personal cost.

so WTF do i do?

I think it is best to read this post with the following music in the Background.
External Link/Members Only

[Pompoy123]

Sorry I couldn't help myself but the old timers on here will get my drift 

[cueball]

Sorry I couldn't help myself but the old timers on here will get my drift 

Bloody hell, that's a blast from the past,

Don't think they'd read the post out on the radio though ha ha

[Dani]

You have two choices as I see it.  either just stop seeing her or only see her for paid meets.
If the first then just tell her you no longer feel you are compatible and change your phone number.  Simple.
If the second tell her you enjoy her company but feel she is still charging you for sex albeit by asking you to pay for something rather than just give her money for her time and you feel it better if you both know where you stand so from now on you will pay for your meets by the hour so that there is no confusion or blurring of boundaries.

She is seeing asking you for money as paying her some of what she would charge you.  At £80 an hour or £250 a month I suspect you are actually saving money and she sees it as doing you a favour.  If you choose the 2nd option just pay her the normal £80 an hour for her time as that way you know how long to stay and how much to pay.  Just don't go over time as she will then assume you owe her and start pestering again.

Personally I think you have both crossed boundaries that cant be uncrossed.  You thought you were getting sex and friendship for free and she thought she was doing you a favour by not charging for all her time and just asking for money now and then or as and when.  This is when things become difficult.  either stop seeing her or go back to paying for every meet properly so you know how much you are spending each time.  Book an hour and pay and leave. 

[Boundless]

I think it is best to read this post with the following music in the Background.
External Link/Members Only

That takes me back

[madeinwales56]

Where's Jimmy when we need him?