External Link/Members Only1 hour £60 + £40 HJ (£100 total)
Comms
Excellent quick comms, all via WA. I initially received an auto reply with a link asking me to book via Treatwell, but this was quickly followed by a human message telling me that I'd been booked in.
Location
From the website I'd been expecting a large building with several treatment rooms, but it's a tiny shop on a high street. A cramped reception area leads onto a small dark massage room. The table is comfy though, with face hole. As far as I could make out there wasn't a shower, though I didn't ask if I could use one. Free parking 5 minutes away at Halfords.
June
June the mystery masseuse was wearing a face mask throughout the session, so I've no idea what she looked like. She's a small, slim Thai woman, possibly in her 50s. Her English is very good, and she was polite and chatty.
Massage
The massage was OK, a proper therapeutic number that got rid of a few knots.
Extras
I perversely found this bit quite amusing. I wasn't really feeling in the mood, so wasn't going to ask for extras. June kept alluding to them, but wasn't going to ask me straight up. In the end, she clapped her hands onto my shoulders and said, "You've got 15 minutes left, do you want anything else?" I asked what was available and was told HJ only for £40. I should've declined the offer, but hey, where's the fun in that? June clamped my hand to her behind, which I could barely feel beneath her padded, impenetrable, armour-plated cycle shorts. I withdrew my hand only to have it replaced in the same position. Obviously a less than satisfying grope was a non-negotiable part of the deal. June set to work on me with an oiled palm and eventually got me over the line.
Conclusion
I'm looking for a decent parlour somewhere between Junction 13 on the M1 and Junction 9 on the M25. I had high hopes for this place, but unfortunately it's not it. If anyone has any recommendations, I'd be really grateful to hear them.
