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Author Topic: The sudden realisation your pro$$ie has a shitty arse !!!!  (Read 15944 times)

Offline Bangers and Gash

...... you move into position for a spot of reverse, only to realise she's got more skid marks than The Top Gear test track!   :vomit:

Would this be a case of the punt immediately terminated or would you quickly shove her into the shower and get back to business?  :unknown:

yorkshire123

  • Guest
Never had it but as I'm a weak stomached fucker it would be trousers up & away I go.
Even the thought of it is making me wretch, thanks for that, looks like Weetabix is off the menu for supper  :vomit:

Offline smiths

...... you move into position for a spot of reverse, only to realise she's got more skid marks than The Top Gear test track!   :vomit:

Would this be a case of the punt immediately terminated or would you quickly shove her into the shower and get back to business?  :unknown:

It would be a terminal turn-off and i would be off to punt with a regular who i know cleans her arse.

Offline 385North

...... you move into position for a spot of reverse, only to realise she's got more skid marks than The Top Gear test track!   :vomit:

Would this be a case of the punt immediately terminated or would you quickly shove her into the shower and get back to business?  :unknown:

Is this something you have first hand experience of or just asking a theoretical question? I think you would have to punt with some pretty skanky birds for this to occur.

Andrew Sanderson

  • Guest
...... you move into position for a spot of reverse, only to realise she's got more skid marks than The Top Gear test track!   :vomit:

Would this be a case of the punt immediately terminated or would you quickly shove her into the shower and get back to business?  :unknown:

I'm reading this thread whilst my mum is sat 12 feet away and I'm eating my dinner. I'm getting images of the gorgeous lady under your profile name with a shitty arse and finding it very difficult to stiffle a laugh and hide it all from my mum!!  Dinner not easy to eat either!
« Last Edit: January 03, 2015, 06:46:20 pm by Andrew Sanderson »

Offline Bangers and Gash

Is this something you have first hand experience of or just asking a theoretical question?

It's just something I have been mulling over for a while. Luckily, all the arse's I've eaten have been squeaky clean and very tasty, but the law of averages say sooner or later you'll come face to face with a Klingon.  :vomit:   

willbred

  • Guest
It's just something I have been mulling over for a while. Luckily, all the arse's I've eaten have been squeaky clean and very tasty, but the law of averages say sooner or later you'll come face to face with a Klingon.  :vomit:

True words. it's happened to me a handful of times and has been a punt stopper or at the very least a passion killer for me

Offline Taggart

Surely the answer is to do the 'finger' test? I do this with all WGs.
First pass you run a finger over her pussy lips and do the sniff test. Second pass you accidently reach further, stroke her chocolate starfish and perform sniff test No. 2.

But then if she's got klingons you'd get an early whiff, wouldn't you? And I cant believe no self-respecting WG would have poo strips, as dont ladies use these moist wipes these days.

 

Offline cueball

Well, I'm not a rimmer but I do like a 69 and a clean arse is essential when my snotter is only and inch or two from it, I've never come across (no pun) a shitty arse but I think it would be a carse of "eh up love, I think you need to give that a swill off before we carry on, only chocolate I like is Cadbury's"

Andrew Sanderson

  • Guest
Surely the answer is to do the 'finger' test? I do this with all WGs.
First pass you run a finger over her pussy lips and do the sniff test. Second pass you accidently reach further, stroke her chocolate starfish and perform sniff test No. 2.

But then if she's got klingons you'd get an early whiff, wouldn't you? And I cant believe no self-respecting WG would have poo strips, as dont ladies use these moist wipes these days.




   + 1



Offline Bangers and Gash

Surely the answer is to do the 'finger' test? I do this with all WGs.
First pass you run a finger over her pussy lips and do the sniff test. Second pass you accidently reach further, stroke her chocolate starfish and perform sniff test No. 2.

Great idea Taggart. Btw, do you perform the sniff test before or after handing the money over?  :D

SUMO61

  • Guest
...... you move into position for a spot of reverse, only to realise she's got more skid marks than The Top Gear test track!   :vomit:

Would this be a case of the punt immediately terminated or would you quickly shove her into the shower and get back to business?  :unknown:

Happened to me very recently, with a regular punt. Didn't see any skid marks, but I got a whiff of shite as I lined her up doggy..

I started to slowly deflate, despite frenetic pumping, so I made my excuses and left. Very unusual this, she is normally squeaky clean. I was a late punt, after a slow day, maybe she just thought, sod it..

I'll give her the benefit of the doubt this time...

dilettante

  • Guest
There's degrees of shitiness however - a recent girl I was rimming, couldn't be certain and certainly nothing visible or olfactive, but I just had the impression there was a taste of something.  Didn't put me off and otherwise ace punt but it did cloud the memory for a few days.  Even if you do shower beforehand, how can you be sure stuff isn't going to leak down there again, it's all a continuous duct? - same applies for rimming on us.

Offline Bangers and Gash

I started to slowly deflate, despite frenetic pumping, so I made my excuses and left.

I'm too much of a gentlemans  :hi: to say anything abrupt so, like yourself, I'd probably say I've got a headache and retreat somewhere cleaner.

Offline cueball

I'm too much of a gentlemans

I'm not, if she thinks it's acceptable to have babba round her arse hole then she ain't no lady, if I'm good enough to wash my poo shoot prior to the punt I expect the same, I'd rather tell her n carry on wi her conscience clean.

Offline SmackmaBitchUp

This is turning me off punting  :vomit:

fgs

  • Guest
I'm a bit paranoid about myself sometimes but i have definately smelt dirty arse on a few brass in my time but never when they offer anything more than a basic suck of fuck.

Offline maxxblue

There's degrees of shitiness however - a recent girl I was rimming, couldn't be certain and certainly nothing visible or olfactive, but I just had the impression there was a taste of something.  Didn't put me off and otherwise ace punt but it did cloud the memory for a few days.  Even if you do shower beforehand, how can you be sure stuff isn't going to leak down there again, it's all a continuous duct? - same applies for rimming on us.

Unless the person concerned is constipated, there is no faecal matter in the rectum, so showering beforehand should prevent problems.

Offline maxxblue

Happened to me very recently, with a regular punt. Didn't see any skid marks, but I got a whiff of shite as I lined her up doggy..

I started to slowly deflate, despite frenetic pumping, so I made my excuses and left. Very unusual this, she is normally squeaky clean. I was a late punt, after a slow day, maybe she just thought, sod it..

I'll give her the benefit of the doubt this time...


Why?

Offline berksboy

    Well that was a good read as i was eating my post pub key bab  !   :lol:

dilettante

  • Guest
I'm not, if she thinks it's acceptable to have babba round her arse hole then she ain't no lady, if I'm good enough to wash my poo shoot prior to the punt I expect the same, I'd rather tell her n carry on wi her conscience clean.
You're a natural rapper, aren't you? ;)

Offline cueball

You're a natural rapper, aren't you? ;)

Ha ha, there's a song there somewhere

Tjkooker

  • Guest
Happened three times. First was during anal it came out with a big lump of shit on the end  :vomit: put an end to that punt. Not the girls fault I reckon. We had been at it a while and pretty hard.

Second time was totally prossies fault. Unusually for me I hadn't gone down on her or had a play with her bits. Was just bending her over into doggy when the smell hit me. On looking there were dangleberrys on her hairy arsehole. I let her know my feelings and walked. I didn't even request money back, just wanted out.

Third time was again pretty rough anal and the rubber was completely covered in brown. The smell was like something had died, and not just my stiffy. The girl thankfully was horrified and rushed around to rectify things. Shower on, windows opened etc etc and a run over on time at the end of punt to make up the lost clean up time.

Offline Fabaceous

dont ladies use these moist wipes these days.
I use moist wipes every time I piss or shit. I like to be clean - just in case :D

Offline berksboy

     Dont girls who do A know how to douche out there bum hole ?

Offline flybynightpm

Happened in a few months ago, 30min punt, went to rim her a little and got a wiff that got my mind in a mess and I could feel myself loosing it... quickly changed tack to mish and finished.. didn't have the heart to tell her as she was so friendly and I was a newbie... should have said something because I bet the next punter would have got the same..

Offline myothernameis

Have never met a girl with a shitty arse, thank god, but have had a girl fart in my face while we were 69ing it, think this is just as bad, don't know what she had been eating but the smell was revolting

So anyone else had this happen to them, where she farts in your face, all by accident

Offline robbie54321

What a disgusting but compelling thread this is!
I have smelt that distinctive  Odour several times during doggie. Fucking disgusting! Literally!
Never ever rimed a WG and have only done RO four times in over 400 punts. I rimmed a civy about 30 years ago who had shit around it, still taste now! Never again!

Stealthshagger

  • Guest
Anyone who uses very high resolution cameras to photograph punts knows it is not the exception to see small amounts of fecal matter on a wgs anus, particularly unless she has prepped for rimming. The same cameras pick up every crevice and so on of everything, including the anus. It's a downside of very high resolution cameras actually. If you, for example photograph a face in portrait, every imperfection is very noticeable, and someone who appears to have clear skin in person will have every little imperfection in the picture, more noticeable than in person. it's the real reason photo editing originally became so common in commercial use.

The point is really that under such magnification, and such scrutiny, superficial cleans are exposed. And it isn't that uncommon, I have to say. There are some wgs I have photographed who, even under such a lens, can be seen to be immaculately clean everywhere every time, which I quite respect as it shows a thorough clean before each meeting I have, beyond what you would expect me to be able to tell. one such wg was a Romanian pornstar.

charming_red

  • Guest
The apparent whiff in here suggests this thread was inspired by the J-LO bum thread in the London board  :)

Its just shocking and plain disgusting some girls can't wipe their arse properly. You can buy bog roll at the pound shop. How difficult is it just to wet wipe your ass before seeing a punter?  :mad:

Never do anal and never will, but when doing doggy I never part her cheeks in fear of what I might see. I'm too squeamish for that shit!

willbred

  • Guest
This is turning me off punting  :vomit:

Wasn't it Smiths who coined the phrase "punting ain't for the faint hearted"? :P

Offline GreyDave

Have never met a girl with a shitty arse, thank god, but have had a girl fart in my face while we were 69ing it, think this is just as bad, don't know what she had been eating but the smell was revolting

So anyone else had this happen to them, where she farts in your face, all by accident

 :D :D :D :lol: :lol: :lol:  :cool: :cool: dont you just love em?

Offline FLYING BLUE

Wasn't it Smiths who coined the phrase "punting ain't for the faint hearted"? :P

I've been punting for quite some time now so, it was bound to happen :rolleyes:

A girl farted just as she was climbing into 69
Another girl (in a now defunct Leeds parlour) excused herself whilst I was giving her oral, to go stand in the corner, fart quite loudly, proclaim "better out than in, eh lover?"
One girl in a Sheffield parlour had an 'arsey whiff' as I went into doggy - maybe she had just farted or recently had a shit?
And once, I had a girl with a skid mark high up on her right bum cheek.
Recently, in the past 12 months or so, I've had a WG whose pussy was filled with some white, creamy gunge (not spunk) - still not sure what it was and only discovered as I went to perform oral - excuses made and left in a hurry.

Offline starman555

The wg's I have met that do Anal request that you tell them it is required at the time of booking appointment, That way I presume they can stuff the soapy hosepipe up to make sure it is clean,I saw a video once of a bird crapping in a blokes mouth, it left skidmarks on the dirty bastards lips and he chewed and swallowed it...No manners at all, chewed with his mouth open...I am almost throwing up just thinking about it......I don't care who it is no matter how stunning...shit is shit, hate the look hate the smell, I have had my tongue up a few bumholes though!
« Last Edit: January 04, 2015, 10:44:46 am by starman555 »

Offline cueball

,I saw a video once of a bird crapping in a blokes mouth, it left skidmarks on the dirty bastards lips and he chewed and swallowed it..

Not my bag, what anybody can get out of eating shit I don't know, that bloody description is putting me off my pate on toast

yorkshire123

  • Guest
Not my bag, what anybody can get out of eating shit I don't know, that bloody description is putting me off my pate on toast

And there I was thinking that you were just a normal Northern rough arse punter, surely its plain old potted meat  :lol:

Offline akauya

It happened to me and this was after we had a shower together... turned her into a doggy position ready to rim her arse then the shit whiff hit me in the face. I thought... what the fuck I just washed her arse! She must have had a powerful vindaloo the night before  :rolleyes:

Offline Roth

I use moist wipes every time I piss or shit. I like to be clean - just in case :D

Also handy to use on the prossie's arse if needed!  :vomit: :vomit: :scare: :scare:

Offline cueball

And there I was thinking that you were just a normal Northern rough arse punter, surely its plain old potted meat  :lol:

Oh, I'm busted, I tried to come across as all sophisticated, yep, it's potted meat

Barry Shipton

  • Guest
Not trying to put anyone off their Sunday lunch, and correct me if I am wrong, but could this be a prime example here?

External Link/Members Only
« Last Edit: January 04, 2015, 01:15:11 pm by Barry Shipton »

Offline cueball

Not trying to put anyone off their Sunday lunch, and correct me if I am wrong, but could this be a prime example here?

External Link/Members Only

Ha ha ha ha, fuckin hell, well, they do say a picture tells a thousand words, the fuckin arrows are going in the wrong direction, should be "way out"

Type_O_Negative

  • Guest
Fuck me i think i ended up in wrong part of UKP...  :vomit:

vt

  • Guest
Check out this chocolate starfish...likely sponsored by Cadburys...must be on AW somewhere... :vomit:

External Link/Members Only


yorkshire123

  • Guest
Check out this chocolate starfish...likely sponsored by Cadburys...must be on AW somewhere... :vomit:

External Link/Members Only

Don't don't don't press that link, you've been warned    :vomit: :vomit: :vomit:

Barry Shipton

  • Guest
Don't don't don't press that link, you've been warned    :vomit: :vomit: :vomit:
You know the more someone says don't do it, you have this really strong urge to do it.......really, believe him don't, I wish I could unsee it. He must have lacked all sense of smell or be wearing a peg on his nose.

If she's a barebacker God knows what's in her pussy if that's the state of her backside.  :vomit: :vomit: I'd want an all over body condom just to shake her hand.

Offline Silver Birch

Don't don't don't press that link, you've been warned    :vomit: :vomit: :vomit:

You might as well have said "Don't lick the battery"  :crazy:

OMFG  :vomit: :vomit: :vomit:

vt

  • Guest
Don't don't don't press that link, you've been warned    :vomit: :vomit: :vomit:

Sorry guys, I couldn't help myself!   :D

Sounds like she's not too far from you Yorkshire, probably up in the Northeast judging by her accent when she speaks at the end of the clip...Teesside/Middlesbrough area maybe, she mentions an Ingleby and Premier Inn.

Finger of fudge anyone??  ;)

« Last Edit: January 06, 2015, 11:47:44 am by vt »

Offline cueball

Don't don't don't press that link, you've been warned    :vomit: :vomit: :vomit:

Ha ha ha, fuckin hell, some things cannot be un seen,

Made me laugh though "don't show my face" ha ha, you can show my shitty arse though

Barry Shipton

  • Guest
I'm beginning to think this is 'dirty' propaganda by those who want to outlaw punting, changing the law wouldn't stop it but spreading more videos like that would put off all but those with the strongest stomachs.

yorkshire123

  • Guest
Sorry guys, I couldn't help myself!   :D

Sounds like she's not too far from you Yorkshire, probably up in the Northeast judging by her accent when she speaks at the end of the clip...Teesside/Middlesbrough area maybe, she mentions an Ingleby and Premier Inn.

Finger of fudge anyone??  ;)

You watched it to the end with sound  :scare:, Man you really are one sick mother fucker  :lol: