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Author Topic: Lies (bullshit) you've said to a WG while punting.  (Read 4706 times)

Online superchamp

To compliment the best thing said to you by a WG are there any lies that you tell just to give yourself a laugh, or avoid an embarrassing situation etc.? I have a small circular scar on my back from when I fell on a spiked railing as a child. If the WG asks I usually make up some story involving it being a bullet wound. Best yet was when I told one it was when I was shot down in my Spitfire over France.  :hi:

Sailormack

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Just the obvious one, I promise not to cum in yer gub  :sarcastic:


Offline Boundless

I don't normally bullshit other than to throw a WG off the scent if I'm asked a direct question.

However, there was a WG that I wanted to see incognito because she'd managed to tie my AW and UKP ID's and my phone no. (Through being careless on my part) I got another phone, throwaway name etc and went and saw her in a town 50 miles away. I got quite carried away telling her all about my job and my wife and kids. Think I've been watching too much Spooks!

Pompoy123

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To compliment the best thing said to you by a WG are there any lies that you tell just to give yourself a laugh, or avoid an embarrassing situation etc.? I have a small circular scar on my back from when I fell on a spiked railing as a child. If the WG asks I usually make up some story involving it being a bullet wound. Best yet was when I told one it was when I was shot down in my Spitfire over France:hi:

 :lol: :lol: :lol:

Offline Boundless

"I'll be back"

Good one.

Usually said when walking out the door thinking, thank fuck that's over you ugly bitch that looks nothing like your photos

Offline threechilliman

"I'll be back"

Very similar to my 'See you again' line. It actually means 'I won't be back'. It's not usually after a bad punt, just one where there's nothing special to draw me back.

tcm

Offline Trevor12

My name, job, where I live, where I'm from etc....

Almost everything I say about myself to a WG is bullshit, well rehearsed believable bullshit.

Offline RedKettle

I was once in a difficult situation under pressure to see a regular who I wanted to break away from - long story behind that and I did not then have the protection of a punting phone etc etc.  Anyway I had an appointment with her and did not want to keep it so called from the roadside and said I had been in a car accident and would not be able to get there.  She suggested I get the car towed to her house!!! I declined that.

Was hounded after that for some time - you would not believe how long it took to get my car repaired.

Offline smiths

To compliment the best thing said to you by a WG are there any lies that you tell just to give yourself a laugh, or avoid an embarrassing situation etc.? I have a small circular scar on my back from when I fell on a spiked railing as a child. If the WG asks I usually make up some story involving it being a bullet wound. Best yet was when I told one it was when I was shot down in my Spitfire over France.  :hi:

Virtually everything i tell a WG is bullshit, thats the safest way of punting in my view. I wouldnt specify what i say as WGs read this site avidly.


Offline punk

Virtually everything i tell a WG is bullshit, thats the safest way of punting in my view. I wouldnt specify what i say as WGs read this site avidly.

Could not agree more, you must be crazy to give out info about your self.

Offline mcb

"I'm single and haven't been with a girl in a while, so thought I'd treat myself."

Offline Jimmyredcab

Unlike many on here I have nothing to hide   :rolleyes: ------------------- however the lie I have used many times is ---------


"Sorry, I have left my wallet in the car"

I don't have the heart to say "You are a bit of a dog".       :hi:

Offline punk

Unlike many on here I have nothing to hide   :rolleyes: ------------------- however the lie I have used many times is ---------


"Sorry, I have left my wallet in the car"

I don't have the heart to say "You are a bit of a dog".       :hi:

i have nothing to hide but i am still going to tell some one i know sweet F.A about, any personal info.  :hi:

Offline Happylad

"I`ve never done anything like this before; you`ll have to show me"

and

"No, I`m only 70 - honest"

Quesadilla

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Got nothing to hide and in most cases I have no problem telling them anything I'd be comfortable talking about with anyone I just met.  I usually punt fairly intelligent educated girls who I enjoy talking to anyway so why wouldn't I? Much easier than making shit up or being deliberately stand-offish which in my view would result in a less good punt.

Very occasionally I do find myself with someone who I don't click with - or there's a language barrier - and there's just not much talking at all.  :unknown:


a10

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"I saw your profile pics and had to make a booking!" translation: no one else was answering the phone

The younger ones like some buttering up sometimes

Offline Jamboney

Virtually everything i tell a WG is bullshit, thats the safest way of punting in my view.

Agree with this entirely, I always state my true age as this seems to come up a lot. Probably because I look about 18

Offline Ali Katt

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Goofy85

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I've toyed with the idea of saying I'm a footballer or something. Although I would need better legs. Otherwise I've never lied.

Offline smiths

Got nothing to hide and in most cases I have no problem telling them anything I'd be comfortable talking about with anyone I just met.  I usually punt fairly intelligent educated girls who I enjoy talking to anyway so why wouldn't I? Much easier than making shit up or being deliberately stand-offish which in my view would result in a less good punt.

Very occasionally I do find myself with someone who I don't click with - or there's a language barrier - and there's just not much talking at all.  :unknown:

The reason why not is some other punters have done the same but been threatened by a WG later on. One punter on here Panel999 arranged a RB with a WG he rated and in his positive review he mentioned what the punt had cost him, the WG went nuts at him for revealing the cost of the RB and because he had told her too much real personal info about himself she threatened him. He had to become a guest on here sadly. 

If a punter has something to lose if it was revealed he was a punter then the smart thing to do in my view is never reveal your real details to WGs who in most cases are virtual or complete strangers. As happened to Panel a punter might really rate a WG but it can all go tits up. If a punter hasnt anything to lose and does not care who knows he punts fair enough, good for him.

Quesadilla

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The reason why not is some other punters have done the same but been threatened by a WG later on. One punter on here Panel999 arranged a RB with a WG he rated and in his positive review he mentioned what the punt had cost him, the WG went nuts at him for revealing the cost of the RB and because he had told her too much real personal info about himself she threatened him. He had to become a guest on here sadly. 

If a punter has something to lose if it was revealed he was a punter then the smart thing to do in my view is never reveal your real details to WGs who in most cases are virtual or complete strangers. As happened to Panel a punter might really rate a WG but it can all go tits up. If a punter hasnt anything to lose and does not care who knows he punts fair enough, good for him.
Oh shit hadn't heard that story - had seen some of Panel999's reviews and wondered where he'd disappeared to!  :hi:

I have pretty much nothing to lose fortunately.  I guess my company might take a dim view although not sure how they could - as I'm not doing anything illegal and as long as I keep my hobbies out of working hours it's really none of their business.  And anyway once I start talking about what I do most people quickly glaze over and their brains switch off so WG's usually very quickly change the subject once they ask the inevitable "what do you do?"  :D

Fair points though!  :drinks:

Offline smiths

Oh shit hadn't heard that story - had seen some of Panel999's reviews and wondered where he'd disappeared to!  :hi:

I have pretty much nothing to lose fortunately.  I guess my company might take a dim view although not sure how they could - as I'm not doing anything illegal and as long as I keep my hobbies out of working hours it's really none of their business.  And anyway once I start talking about what I do most people quickly glaze over and their brains switch off so WG's usually very quickly change the subject once they ask the inevitable "what do you do?"  :D

Fair points though!  :drinks:

There was a punter on another punting forum a few years ago called nicked TonyOfStoney, i think he is down as a guest on here but i might be wrong on that. Anyway, he posted too much real personal info about himself and a WG on the prostitutes blacklist on here outed him publicly, it made his local paper and he was a civil servant, he got the sack and i think his partner left him. Now he hadnt broken the law but as i am sure you know some jobs have clauses about acceptable behaviour. Thats not to say a punter couldnt take the employer to court for unfair dismissal and win though of course.

To avoid that happening being discreet is the wise thing to do as i see it, and one last point, say a punter tells all or some people he knows that he is a punter but later on meets a woman who he falls for and its mutual. Personally i wouldnt want to risk losing such a woman because she is appalled to learn i was a punter. :hi:

Ben4454

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Funny you mention this I find it a funny game making up a new persona for myself everytime i enter a punt.

I once told a working girl that I was a whale fisherman and she believed me.

But the best one yet has to be when I told her I was a professional graffiti artist.

Aspen

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Unlike many on here I have nothing to hide   :rolleyes: ------------------- however the lie I have used many times is ---------


"Sorry, I have left my wallet in the car"

That's original !!! Have to remember that one if I have to beat a hasty retreat.

Like you, I don't actually tell them any lies. I don't see the point, that's for Walter Mitty characters. If you don't want to tell someone something, just don't do it. Most understand that.

Goofy85

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See, I'd be worried if they ask me to draw something.

SirFrank

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A few years back I arrived for the punt and the girl said to me oh you look familiar. I said yeah I often get that - I played Richard Harris' son in Wild Geese. She laughed but she clearly didn't have a clue what the fuck I was on about

Offline fisherofsouls

Saw a lovely girl near Gatwick a few years ago and told her I was a 737 pilot with BA. 

Of course, she had to be the one escort in the whole fucking country who was doing it to pay her way through commercial pilot training  :dash:  She started asking me detailed technical questions about my job and what I thought of Boeing hydraulic controls versus Airbus fly-by-wire.

Luckily, while I've never flown more than a paper airplane, I am a bit of an aviation nerd, and it was the end of the punt, so I was able to bluff my way through for 5 minutes...

I've always wondered if she went back the following week and argued with her instructor "but I was talking to an actual BA pilot about this just the other day and he said..."  :lol:
« Last Edit: January 06, 2015, 09:52:37 pm by fisherofsouls »

Offline sparrow


Offline Victor7522

I've said I'm an architect. When asked about what buildings I told her that I specialise in bus shelters. Going from the subsequent conversation she seemed to have believed me!

Aspen

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Saw a lovely girl near Gatwick a few years ago and told her I was a 737 pilot with BA. 

Of course, she had to be the one escort in the whole fucking country who was doing it to pay her way through commercial pilot training  :dash:  She started asking me detailed technical questions about my job and what I thought of Boeing hydraulic controls versus Airbus fly-by-wire.

This story reminds me that I learned very young not to bullshit. You never know who you are talking to, and you can dig a big hole for yourself very quickly.

I think quite a decent number of WG's have deep knowledge and experience in other fields. Look at Belle deJour for example. Although I think she's a bit flaky on certain aspects of prostitution, she obviously is an expert in her field. I've met a criminal lawyer doing it who was bored with her day job. Airline pilot doesn't surprise me at all.


Offline Boundless

This story reminds me that I learned very young not to bullshit. You never know who you are talking to, and you can dig a big hole for yourself very quickly.

I think quite a decent number of WG's have deep knowledge and experience in other fields. Look at Belle deJour for example. Although I think she's a bit flaky on certain aspects of prostitution, she obviously is an expert in her field. I've met a criminal lawyer doing it who was bored with her day job. Airline pilot doesn't surprise me at all.

I think I must be mixing with the wrong sort of girls then.

Most I've met don't seem to have much of a clue about anything, other than "celebrities"
They seem to be of the Chantelle intellect "I thought the sun and the moon were the same thing - turns out they're not"  :D

Aspen

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I think I must be mixing with the wrong sort of girls then.

Most I've met don't seem to have much of a clue about anything, other than "celebrities"
They seem to be of the Chantelle intellect "I thought the sun and the moon were the same thing - turns out they're not"  :D

Everyone assumes that women turn to prostitution because they can't do anything else. In 99% of cases that's pretty much true, but the odd 1% turns up some surprises.

Offline Ali Katt

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I've said I'm an architect. When asked about what buildings I told her that I specialise in bus shelters. Going from the subsequent conversation she seemed to have believed me!
That's a classic.

Offline Zeusthedoc

usually just invent a business and say that i'm self employed. or that I work for some stupidly rich guy who is as tight as russell brand's jeans - that usually stumps them.

alias, and careful about anything that has my name on it etc....
usually take my stuff in to the bathroom when i have a shower, just incase.

although, I do remember seeing a WG's work ID whilst I was using the facilities once, carelessly left on the bathroom windowsill.
claimed to be english through and through, she was probably born in England but her name was distinctly EE. didn't bother me, was an ok punt, many moons ago.

thelu12

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Saw a lovely girl near Gatwick a few years ago and told her I was a 737 pilot with BA. 

Of course, she had to be the one escort in the whole fucking country who was doing it to pay her way through commercial pilot training  :dash:  She started asking me detailed technical questions about my job and what I thought of Boeing hydraulic controls versus Airbus fly-by-wire.

that's hilarious, I can just imagine how surreal the conversation must have felt

Offline dizietsmae

Lol, literally every single word out of my mouth!  I am pretty awesome at lying but its nice to practice,  never fucked a whore that I wanted to fuck again so doesn't really matter what I say and its hilarious, makes the punt more fun I reckon :D

Offline CoolTiger

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Has anyone tried telling them that you worked for HMRC?  :cool:



Offline punk

Has anyone tried telling them that you worked for HMRC?  :cool:

next shit attitude i get, i'll try that one,see if it changes her.

Offline CoolTiger

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next shit attitude i get, i'll try that one,see if it changes her.

Mention that you work in the fraud department of the Black Economy section.

Offline Boundless

Has anyone tried telling them that you worked for HMRC?  :cool:

Then ask for a receipt!  :D

Offline Jerboa

No I think you are a lot better looking than Angelina Jolie. :)