Serene spa - Balham

[puntingking]

April 2026



I booked over the phone a few days before, I was asked to confirm on the day which I did.
When I did confirm on the day by calling them, it did seem a bit noisy. No excuse though, I did everything on my end that they asked me to such as to confirming on the day. I turned up on time.
This place does seem to have a fair few female customers as I saw a couple sitting down waiting for their appointment. This place operates as a "legit" business.

I arrived and they had no clue about my booking and then they told me no one is available till 2 hours time which would make it late afternoon/ early evening.

I left and they apologised and said next time I can "maybe" have a small discount. So even the discount did not sound promising and it sounded more like a trap to get me to book again at this place.


I left and headed back to Balham tube station.

This place is not near me so I had to travel over 90 minutes to get here, I am very disappointed with this place the way they wasted my journey here. 


By the way, I completely forgot to mention (although it is not important for obvious reasons) that I originally booked for a one hour massage. 

There was a 50+ year old woman at the desk alongside another woman who both was talking to me at one point about this situation/problem that I had.
The other woman appeared younger - maybe early 40s 
It remained civil which they wanted it kept to as they had a couple of female customers waiting near the front of the shop.

All they could do is apologise to me. I accepted their apology (what else could I do  ) and went out of the shop with a disappointed look on my face. 





External Link/Members Only

[Jonestown]

Maybe they didn’t like the cut of your jib when you turned up ?

[LLPunting]

Serene is a legit business.

If it's so much out the way why did you choose it and who did you book?

[Massage Bloke]

Serene is a legit business.

If it's so much out the way why did you choose it and who did you book?

Gotta agree with this.

I know PK is a prolific punter and travels some way to experience new (to him) SPs.  But  most "normal" customers of a legit massage establishment are going to be  local, or fairly local. Why would the customers travel for 90 mins to get there?

I don't think you can moan about the time it took you to get there.

If it was me, I'd have walked as soon as I saw the women customers.

There has to be the possibilty that the women on reception had a good idea that you were a punter!

[puntingking]

Serene is a legit business.

If it's so much out the way why did you choose it

Because I have not been to this place, I don't mind travelling if they actually go ahead with the booking and don't waste neither of our time. 

who did you book?

I was not given a choice 

[bigden40]

Serene is a legit business.

If it's so much out the way why did you choose it and who did you book?

Is it?  Didn’t used to be. Haven’t been in a couple of  years though.

I present my own review as evidence … https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=414949.0

[LLPunting]

Is it?  Didn’t used to be. Haven’t been in a couple of  years though.

I present my own review as evidence … https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=414949.0

It has always been a legit business i e. It has legit custom.  It also happens to have a side hustle as a spa where some of the ladies offer extras at their own discretion.

[LLPunting]

Because I have not been to this place, I don't mind travelling if they actually go ahead with the booking and don't waste neither of our time. 


I was not given a choice 

Given the lack of recent reviewing or mention what prompted you to try it rather than a host of other places that are likely closer to you?

[bigden40]

It has always been a legit business i e. It has legit custom.  It also happens to have a side hustle as a spa where some of the ladies offer extras at their own discretion.

True.  I misunderstood your meaning.

[puntingking]

Given the lack of recent reviewing or mention what prompted you to try it rather than a host of other places that are likely closer to you?

good question, I suppose It was a warm day in April and I did not mind travelling a bit to see a new place that I have not been before. It is true that I have had to go past many massage parlours on the way to get to this place but I just had the urge/desire to attend here. 

I also was planning a intimate waxing session with this place as I saw a review some time ago, but I won't be returning here again as it is too far for me to travel when in fact they could in theory let me down again 


In hindsight it is a bit silly of me to travel this far when there are many massage parlours near where I live and in central London which is closer to me. 

I do normally only travel this far if there is another reason for me being in the proximity area of the place, but I have also travelled this far if there is a independent sp that I really wanted to see.

rather than a host of other places that are likely closer to you?

It is true there are many other places much closer to me, I would have had to go past many of them to get to this place which in hindsight feels a bit silly of me to travel this far for this place.

I can't really answer this question any other way as I think you are right when you say that, it feels stupid of me to travel to this place, more so when I would not know if the sp would actually give me any kind of "extras".

[Jonestown]

Well certainly some good few years back I was offered HE at the end of a waxing session, I declined because a) I didn’t fancy the lady, b) after the waxing my wedding tackle was crying out to be left in peace.

[puntingking]

Well certainly some good few years back I was offered HE at the end of a waxing session, I declined because a) I didn’t fancy the lady, b) after the waxing my wedding tackle was crying out to be left in peace.

 

[Kojac]

April 2026

I arrived and they had no clue about my booking and then they told me no one is available till 2 hours time which would make it late afternoon/ early evening.

I left and they apologised and said next time I can "maybe" have a small discount. So even the discount did not sound promising and it sounded more like a trap to get me to book again at this place.

External Link/Members Only

@puntingking The below is not meant to dig you out.

For those of us who graduated from the Soho walk up University with a 1st class BA Honours degree and MA Masters degree in punting will immediately understand that available till 2 hours time means leave and don't return and maybe means no.

Women are indirect in how they speak and they expect men to understand or at least get the hint.

I was recently in a "legit" place where the female doctor pounced at the opportunity to play with my cock after an acupuncture session. 

In the massage game, men who know how to read women and emit a relaxed calm vibe get good results consistently.

[puntingking]

I agree with you Kojac 




Please do tell what place this was, I am intrigued. I like the fact that you can walk into a "normal" "legit" looking place and still get a hand job at the end 

I was recently in a "legit" place where the female doctor pounced at the opportunity to play with my cock after an acupuncture session. 

[bigden40]

@puntingking The below is not meant to dig you out.

For those of us who graduated from the Soho walk up University with a 1st class BA Honours degree and MA Masters degree in punting will immediately understand that available till 2 hours time means leave and don't return and maybe means no.

Women are indirect in how they speak and they expect men to understand or at least get the hint.

I was recently in a "legit" place where the female doctor pounced at the opportunity to play with my cock after an acupuncture session. 

In the massage game, men who know how to read women and emit a relaxed calm vibe get good results consistently.

Excellent advice that will undoubtedly not be heeded

[jimmyjackjones]

I have been to this spa, . Had intimate Male wax with Mature African lady. I also received HE with which was a pleasant surprise.Probably had 5 session, and had HE 50% of the time. All depended on mood of the lady.

[Massage Bloke]

I also agree with Kojack:  "no one available till 2 hours time" clearly means: "I don't care what you may have been told on the phone, I just want you to PISS OFF!"

[Sunny]

I have been to this spa, . Had intimate Male wax with Mature African lady. I also received HE with which was a pleasant surprise.Probably had 5 session, and had HE 50% of the time. All depended on mood of the lady.

What's her name? Big busty/ass type?

[puntingking]

I also agree with Kojack:  "no one available till 2 hours time" clearly means: "I don't care what you may have been told on the phone, I just want you to PISS OFF!"

so in this case, what would have happened if i waited for 2 hours 

[puntingking]

I have been to this spa, . Had intimate Male wax with Mature African lady. I also received HE with which was a pleasant surprise.Probably had 5 session, and had HE 50% of the time. All depended on mood of the lady.

ok, I did wonder why you didn't review at least one of your previous sessions at this place on here 

[puntingking]

men who know how to read women

Men are simple creatures, why can't women just say what they mean without any guessing needed for a man to understand 

Women are so complex compared to men, this I know but I still take what they say literally more times then not.


A woman may say to her boyfriend/husband "leave me alone!", so the man leaves her alone but what she actually means is for her boyfriend or husband to run after her and to not leave her alone.

More often than not whatever the woman says to a man, she means the complete opposite in what she says.

[jimmyjackjones]

ok, I did wonder why you didn't review at least one of your previous sessions at this place on here 

The main reason was, I didn't see this as an escort/massage appointment. It initiated male waxing that turned into a happy ending, something never planned or requested. It just happened, as I was hard.after the waxing session. Didn't  think worth posting as this is a legit establishment. 

[jimmyjackjones]

What's her name? Big busty/ass type?

She was Slim Middle aged lady, not busty, no ass at all. Did not find her attractive

[Jonestown]

More often than not whatever the woman says to a man, she means the complete opposite in what she says.

Acting on that view is as dangerous as morris dancing in a mine field.

[Barneypunt]

More often than not whatever the woman says to a man, she means the complete opposite in what she says.

Very dangerous thinking here 

[puntingking]

The main reason was, I didn't see this as an escort/massage appointment. It initiated male waxing that turned into a happy ending, something never planned or requested. It just happened, as I was hard.after the waxing session. Didn't  think worth posting as this is a legit establishment.