Similar threads have been posted by others - and they generally get a negative response. So I've got my thick skin on and ready for retaliation 😕
I started my punting life nearly 40 years ago. I used to have sex - then I became scared of catching something.
For the last few years massages have been my way of finding sexual pleasure. Yes, there's a rush6, but it's very low.
However, Scabies is now my big fear.
It's endemic in China - where most of my masseuses come from. The mere simple fact that they could have it on their hands means I could catch it. Even if I massage the woman - I could catch it.
Yes, I could catch it from a towel or a sheet but I don't want to live worrying about every itch that I get.
The summer is getting closer. Women are wearing less, my hormones are raging but I don't want to catch scabies. I don't want to have to think of excuses and explain to the wife.
I want to contribute on here. I want to get to 100 reviews in the next couple of months but how can I get over this fear ?
Firstly have you ever contracted Scabies in your lifetime including childhood?
Fear and anxiety are positive emotions that can help protect us from danger. It allows us to take appropriate steps to reduce risk. This is 'rational' fear.
However, 'irrational' fear and intense anxiety is damaging. This is where we fear something which is either no risk of very low risk. This can also then lead to Phobia where the fear becomes out of all proportion to any actual risk.
Your fear of contracting an STI is sensible and should mean you to take suitable precautions, but this should not result in total avoidance of any situation which carries a risk. To do so means you are depriving yourself of something which clearly has a positive effect on your life.
Your gradual modification to your punting over the years to try and minimise STI risk is ultimately your personal choice. However, it should be based on a rational risk assessment.
Scabies is not classed as a sexually transmitted infection, but it can be transmitted by contact during sex. This is not the commonest pathway though.
I suggest your fear of Scabies is irrational and not justified. In particular trying to link an increased risk to China. This may be a minor consideration if you were punting in China, but you are not. To worry that it may be a factor is overthinking and an irrational fear not based on facts. Bordering on phobia?
Is this anxiety just around STI risk, or is it part of a Generalised Anxiety Disorder affecting other aspects of your life?
