External Link/Members Only1 Hour £50 + £50 B2B (£100 Total)
Preamble bollocks
Things are really getting out of hand with my Chinese beancounter at work. (See my previous reviews). I've been fiddling the figures at work so that she'll come down and see me to "collect my disclepancies". I've definitely overcooked the books this time though, as I was summoned to a meeting to investigate what was going on between my spreadsheets. So here I am, sat in the "Goldfish Bowl" - a purpose-built perspex-walled interrogation room in the middle of the Accounting floor. My beancounter silently appears. She's wearing a pair of tight blue jeans and an extremely baggy oversize V-neck sweatshirt. On her feet are a pair of clogs FFS, though I do notice her shapely heels and ankles. She sits down beside me and peers at my laptop screen. As she leans towards it, I can't stop myself from surreptiously glancing down her top. Mary Mother of God, Joseph and the Baby Jesus, and let's not forget the wee donkey too - she's not wearing a bra! She might not have much to hide in there, but from that microsecond eyefull they're clearly perky and lovely. I look away quickly and try desperately to think of the Blue Peter dog, of dead babies, of Donald Trump shitting himself at his desk - anything to deflate the sudden tumescence that's growing in my trousers. Oh Christ, I'm going to have to stop off in Woking again tonight - it's an emergency!
Comms
N/A - Walk-in
Location
Reasonably discreet AMP in centre of Woking. Clean and tidy. Face-hole massage tables. Ensuite showers.
Lindsay
Lindsay is an attractive 20-something petite, slim Chinese woman. She speaks excellent English and is obviously wise beyond her years.
Massage
I really enjoyed Lindsay's massage, with lots of long, slow, firm strokes. After about 10 minutes she asks if I'd visited before, to which I answer, "Yes". The massage continues, but the atmosphere in the room subtly changes. She doesn't dive straight for my gooch or start tickling me with her nails - the same long, slow strokes continue just as before, but somehow the intention is different and the massage stops just being pleasant and becomes wonderfully erotic. At one point Lindsay kneels at the head of the table so that my ears brush against her inner thighs. As she leans forward, the front of her thighs press against my shoulders. Writing it down, it sounds a bit strange, but it felt absolutely wonderful.
Extras
Lindsay whispers the inevitable question into my ear, which I answer with a strong affirmitive. I offer £50, which she agrees without haggling. She's also happy for me to pay at the end, which is always nice. Lindsay strips off, oils herself up and climbs on for some lovely B2B. She has a lovely body with a super cute bum and a perky pair of iddie bitty tiddies topped with chapel-hat-peg nipples. (Don't forget your protective goggles lads, if you're not careful, she'll have your eye out).
The HJ finale is one of the best that I've ever experienced. Rather than speed up and grip harder, Lindsay actually loosens her grasp and slows down, extending the vinegar strokes into an exquisite torture of edging. A bright white light explodes in my head and my whole body spasms. "Oh! You nort-tee-boi!", she exclaims. "Look at the mess you've made over my beautiful titties!" She turns around to show me the surprisingly big load dribbling down between the aforementioned titties. She smiles, and then goes to wash her tits in the sink. While she's soaping away, she does a little dance and wiggles that cute little arse at me. Fucking brilliant!
Coda
As I'm leaving, Lindsay shouts something in Chinese. The doors to the three other massage rooms spring open simultaneously and three masseuses step out into the corridor to wave bye bye to me. I don't know why, but I'm really touched by the sight of the four of them (Lindsay also joins in) waving me off like this. When I replay this scene on my deathbed I think I might do a special director's cut and have them all perform a musical song and dance number or maybe a cheeky burlesque routine until my heart finally gives out. I only hope that the funeral director will be able to get the coffin lid to close before they put me in the ground.
Conclusion
Lindsay is a rare and wonderful practitioner. Young and beautiful, but with the wisdom and wiles of a much older SP. In hindsight, there was a lot of smoke and mirrors, but what delicious smoke and what shiny mirrors they were. For example, I asked for RO, which wasn't exactly refused, but never actually happened. This is a shame, because Lindsay has one of the most beautiful pussies that I've laid eyes on, and I'd've loved to have laid my tongue on it too. In the end though, it didn't matter as I had an absolutely fantastic time. It's a shame that I wasn't able to get a schedule out of Lindsay as I'd love to see her again. She did assure me that she'd be working in Woking again soon, but not sure exactly when. It's been 4 out of 4 for Oriental Massages though, as my four visits there have all been fantastic.
