All the BS and round the houses the OP describes having been put through all shouts loudly of a scam at an early stage. If any transaction especially in the world of intimate services, or anywhere else for that matter, starts being lead through complexities greater than appropriate then walk, its probably a scam. Turn up, receive the service, pay there and then, everybody's happy. As soon as there's some sort of diversionary tactics in the story with strange peculiarities about how the transaction must go ahead, however convincing, don't get drawn in by the story, be alert and walk away.
FF