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Author Topic: 1lanashade - My First Punt Ever [Fake review]  (Read 2443 times)

Offline Fallen Angel

Hello all, Ladies and Gentlemen :hi:,

This is my very first review about my very first punting experience. Please excuse my grammar, English is not my mother tongue.

Yesterday I decided to sin. How beautiful my wife is and how boring sex with her is.

So I emailed Lana and I bit her apple.

I met Lana in her place. The apartment is located a couple of minutes walking from Earl Court’s tube. The area is very safe and busy. The building is located in a discreet alley.

The stairs are OK, except for the blue carpet Britain is so fond of (but you might love it). As soon as I crossed the front door, I met one of her neighbors, who after a quick friendly chat gave a tip to improve the quality of my risotto, thank you Lady.
I didn't cook any risotto at Lana's so no comments on the kitchen.

She greeted me on the door and she invited me to her bedroom. The room is quite spacious and warm. She had set up a nice atmosphere with low volume music (No Rn'R  :angry:) and the perfect lighting. Her bed is big enough and the mattress is very comfy. She offered me water and also whiskey, how nice was that! I had water as I was as nervous as I was on my debut at La Scala di Milano. Besides, it was 14:00 and I only drink in the morning.

She insisted on me having a shower, even if I had one just two hours earlier. I liked it, it proved Lana's high standards of hygiene. The bathroom was clean, warm, excellent shower pressure and the supply of towels and toiletries was very large. I was offered another shower before I left.
Overall excellent facilities, welcoming and cozy bedroom.

This was my first time doing this type of business and I expected my nerves to affect my erection, which was pretty much all I was caring for, so I booked one hour instead of the 30 minutes I just really need for “that”, so I would have time to relax my brain...
However, as soon as I saw her, my sexual desire rose like crazy. I booked her because she looks good in her pics but she is far more beautiful in person. I was really impressed.

I score Lana's mind with a 10 over 10 in the same way I could do it with a 2, 7 or pi.
What I mean is, you never really know if she is "pleased" with you or it's just 100% acting, and I like to believe part of someone's personality is in there.
What I can assure is that Lana was very welcoming, very friendly and very attentive with me from the first to the last minute I was there.

She accepted to kiss me through the whole meeting, and that was priceless...and even with my hangover face after my Breakfast Xmas Party the previous day!!! Thank you Lana.

The services were very accurate. But... well... If you, reader, want to know about them, just check her profile or ask her and then wait until the meeting starts and discuss them with her.

I liked everything in Lana and I mean it. She is very beautiful, very pretty face and a body to die for.
As I said before I did not expected to be sexually excited from the beginning but... she managed to do it, and just with her looks.

Her eyes, when half closed, reminded me of the ones I wore when I offered Eve that Fruit of Knowledge in that goddam place long ago.

She is tall (1.73m/5.8'), only 7 cm/3' shorter than my beautiful and boring wife (I am 1.70cm/5.7',  :cool:) , long brunette hair, WOW- Super soft but firm breasts (34D), soft skin, very clean and extraordinary SEXUAL - SENSUAL -SEXY - HOT - Bla bla bla.

My personal highlights were her lips, which are the perfect size and are shaped for kissing. What's between her legs... Oh My God!!! I have just had to masturbate because I have never smelled anything so delicious as her. Thank you human nose, for having such an extraordinary memory.

I loved to lick that piercing, and she keeps her pubic hair in the most perfect Brazilian style (I hate completely-shaved pussies, who had that idea?)

I had my first sex wearing a condom in 4 years so I will not comment on that... just note, if you care, that I had an orgasm.

Overall a great encounter, it was my first time with an escort and I left whistling "You're Sixteen".

Will I come back?

1. Well... if she accepts to see again someone whose more interesting topic is when to use recyclable shopping bags (what the f*** was I thinking about?)... then YES!!!

2. If my knee injury gets better and I can stay in my favorite position, then YES!!!

Many thanks and sorry if I have been too enthusiastic,

Gabriel.




Banning reason: Prostitute posing as punter (1lanashade)

Offline Fallen Angel

Banning reason: Prostitute posing as punter (1lanashade)


1 review(s) found for 1lanashade linked to in above post (1 positive, 0 neutral, 0 negative)

Offline rafatheira

Interesting review  :) .

Glad you had a positive experience on your first ever punt :hi:


Offline Admin

  • Site Owner
Firstly, "FallenAngel" is a strange name for a MAN to use, is it not?

Secondly, as pointed out to me, the review is not only written like a touting advert, but you're using the EXACT same writing style (triple dots and excessive use of quotations for words) as what she uses in her blog.

So a banning and clearly marked as fake review.

Offline Quesadilla

Firstly, "FallenAngel" is a strange name for a MAN to use, is it not?

Secondly, as pointed out to me, the review is not only written like a touting advert, but you're using the EXACT same writing style (triple dots and excessive use of quotations for words) as what she uses in her blog.

So a banning and clearly marked as fake review.
Well spotted - you can even see from her blog the broken English follows the same grammatical patterns. 

Seriously what are WG's thinking when they try this tactic?  Do they really think we're all going to rush out to see a WG on the strength of someone's first post?  No, we're going to assume she's crap which is why she feels the need to shamelessly tout and so we're going to immediately block her - she's just alienated a huge potential audience!  :dash: 

Looked quite hot as well but no credibility at all now.  :wackogirl:
Banning reason: Obnoxious and arrogant + Veiled threat of outing punter on UKE

Offline Johny Stone

Fuck me, it's cristal clear  that a prossie wrote that shit  :lol:

Which punter will ever talk with a prostitute neighbour about risotto?
Or using wow ?
Or
Quote
my sexual desire rose like crazy
Quote
She accepted to kiss me through the whole meeting, and that was priceless...
Quote
The services were very accurate. But... well... If you, reader, want to know about them, just check her profile or ask her and then wait until the meeting starts and discuss them with her.
Really????
Quote
Her eyes, when half closed, reminded me of the ones I wore when I offered Eve that Fruit of Knowledge in that goddam place long ago

I'm out,  :vomit:

Offline Goofy85

Immediately thought it was suspicious from the first words.

It's a shame, since she was on my hotlist.

Do they really think we're all going to rush out to see a WG on the strength of someone's first post? 

In prossies small head: "me write fake review...me have punters queuing around block like buy new iPhone!!"

Hello all, Ladies and Gentlemen :hi:, - Felt a bit suspicious

This is my very first review about my very first punting experience. Please excuse my grammar, English is not my mother tongue.

Yesterday I decided to sin. How beautiful my wife is and how boring sex with her is. - Pretty convinced the writing of a woman

So I emailed Lana and I bit her apple. - Oh do fuck off. Didn't read the rest :dash:

Offline Quesadilla

In prossies small head: "me write fake review...me have punters queuing around block like buy new iPhone!!"
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Banning reason: Obnoxious and arrogant + Veiled threat of outing punter on UKE

Offline Tonyleung

This was too funny - tempted to book her to take the piss  :angelgirl:

Offline Tonyleung

Ahaha - I just went tp see if she took 30 mins bookings - and I looked at her recent Field report - too funny.

Posted 20/12/2014 read exactly as OP's review.

Quote
Field Report    

Below is a field report by one of our members who has had an escort booking with 1lanashade.  Please note that the contents of any field report can never be guaranteed as accurate and that any views or opinions expressed are those of the the author, not AdultWork.com.
Report On:    1lanashade (18) Escorts - Click to book
Report By:    Gemini_69
Meet Date:    Saturday 20 December
Meet Location:    London (In-call)
Fee:    £150
Extras:    None (Unexpected)
      
Rating & Feedback...
Positive - My First Time "Meeting" Ever
Would visit again:    Yes
Would recommend:    Yes
Value for money:    Good
Overall Rating:    9.0 out of 10
About the Venue    Score: 9/10
I met Lana in her place. The apartment is located a couple of minutes walking from Earl Court’s tube. The area is very safe and busy. The building is located in a discreet alley.
The stairs are OK, except for the blue carpet Britain is so fond of (but you might love it). As soon as I crossed the front door, I met one of her neighbors, who after a quick friendly chat gave a tip to improve the quality of my risotto, thank you.
I didn't cooked any risotto at Lana's so no comments on the kitchen.
She greeted me on the door and she invited me to her bedroom. The room is quite spacious and warm. She had prepared a nice atmosphere with music (No Rn'R) and the perfect lighting. Her bed is big and comfy. She offered me water and also whiskey, how nice was that! I had water as I was as nervous as I was on my debut at La Scala di Milano. Besides, it was 14:00 and I only drink in the morning.
She insisted on me having a shower, even if I had one just two hours earlier. I liked it, as it proves Lana's high standards of hygiene. The bathroom was clean, warm, excellent shower pressure and the supply of towels and toiletries was very large. I was offered another shower before I left.
Overall excellent facilities, welcoming and cozy.
About 1lanashade
Physical    Score: 9/10
This was my first time doing this type of business and I expected my nerves to affect my erection so I booked one hour instead of the 30 minutes I just really need for “that”, so I would have time to relax my brain...
However, as soon as I saw her, my sexual desire rose like crazy. I booked her because she looks good in her pics but she is far more beautiful in person. I was really impressed.
Personality    Score: 9/10
I score Lana with a 10 over 10 in the same way I could do it with a 2, 7 or pi.
What I mean is, you never really know if she is pleased with you or it's just acting, and I believe part of someone's personality is in there.
What I can assure is that Lana was very welcoming, very friendly and very attentive with me from the first to the last minute I was there.
Services    Score: 9/10
She accepted to kiss me through the whole meeting, and that was priceless...and even with my hangover face after my Breakfast Xmas Party the previous day!!! Thank you Lana.

The services were very accurate. But... well... If you, reader, want to know about them, just check her profile or ask her and then wait until the meeting starts and discuss them with her.
About the Meeting    Score: 9/10
I liked everything in Lana and I mean it. She is very beautiful, very pretty face and a body to die for.
As I said before I did not expected to be sexually excited from the beginning but... she did it.
Her eyes, when half closed reminded me of the ones I wore when I offered Eve that Fruit of Knowledge in that goddam place long ago.
She is tall, long brunette hair, WOW-Breasts, soft skin, very clean and extraordinary SEXUAL - SENSUAL -SEXY - HOT - Bla bla bla.
My personal highlights were her lips, which are the perfect size and shape for kissing and what's between her legs... Oh My God!!! I have just had to masturbate because I have never smelled anything so delicious as her. Thank you human nose, for having such an extraordinary memory.
I loved to lick that piercing, and she keeps her pubic hair in the most perfect Brazilian style (I hate shaved pussies, who had that idea?)
I had my first sex wearing a condom in 4 years so I will not comment on that... just note, if you care, that I had an orgasm.

Overall a great sin, it was my first time with an escort and I left whistling "You're Sixteen".

Will I come back?

1. Well... if she accepts to see again someone whose more interesting topic is when to use recyclable shopping bags (what the f*** was I thinking about?)... then YES!!!

2. If my knee injury gets better and I can stay in my favorite position, then YES!!!
« Last Edit: December 21, 2014, 07:45:54 PM by Tonyleung »

Offline Jason

As pointed out above the ‘punter’ who posted the above ‘review’ also left the same 'review' on Adultwork
Gemini_69: https://www.adultwork.com/dlgViewRatings.asp?UserID=2775062
Field report: https://www.adultwork.com/dlgViewFieldReport.asp?FRID=100860

From this group of indies I have met and reviewed Liana (aka Lianasexy)-Liana is good btw. Lana (aka lanashade) and  Lexya (also known as Sasha on agencies) complete the main Central London triplet but there are a few other girls who also work from 2-3 different parlours and/or agencies and sometimes tour-but always they had a spell in a parlour in Canary Wharf. If you look at Lana’s feedback and trace everything it is quite evident that they formed a mini network of fake punters to give feedback to their service providers’ profiles.

Here are the service providers profiles (all genuine profiles (i.e. genuine pics) AFAIK):
1. 1lanashade: https://www.adultwork.com/2408203 (former agency girl)
2. Lianasexy: https://www.adultwork.com/2568513 (also on agencies)
3. Lexsya: https://www.adultwork.com/2641402 (also as Sasha of agencies)
4. Sexy@: https://www.adultwork.com/2665535  (also as Sophie of parlour City Sensations )
5. cherrylee: https://www.adultwork.com/2607211
6. MelisaItali : https://www.adultwork.com/2667827
7. Tania.1990: https://www.adultwork.com/2638653
8. RebecaIrish: https://www.adultwork.com/2658817

And here are the profiles of the fake punters:
1. LuckyMan372:  https://www.adultwork.com/dlgViewRatings.asp?UserID=2524163
2. Romanbb: https://www.adultwork.com/dlgViewRatings.asp?UserID=2705483
3. Mikeggg: https://www.adultwork.com/dlgViewRatings.asp?UserID=2696208
4. Daviddomed: https://www.adultwork.com/dlgViewRatings.asp?UserID=2695161
5. pawamatorkin: https://www.adultwork.com/dlgViewRatings.asp?UserID=2696246
6. bobikb: https://www.adultwork.com/dlgViewRatings.asp?UserID=2705497

Our friend “Fallen Angel” (on AW as Gemini_69) is the 7th fake punter and I am pretty sure he will give feedback to the other girls of this group -perhaps not now that 'he' is busted.


1 review(s) found for 1lanashade linked to in above post (1 positive, 0 neutral, 0 negative)
2 review(s) found for Lianasexy linked to in above post (2 positive, 0 neutral, 0 negative)
1 review(s) found for MelisaItali linked to in above post (0 positive, 0 neutral, 1 negative)

She clearly does "speak London very best"...

Offline SamLP

I've had Liana and Lana on my HL for a few weeks and Jason's review was encouraging that I phoned Liana but no answer. Kept them as possibles. Funny and obviously fake review this is and good sleuthing from Jason. If their service is as good as their scam I could pay a visit, but will probably keep them as back up plans if I'm in their area.

Shame ! she is a good looking sexy girl and I was planning a visit. Thanks for saving my time and money !  :rolleyes:

Offline The_Don


@ Jason, on a side note, thanks for all the info  :thumbsup:


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As for this "fake review" I had to:



Hello all, Ladies   :dancegirl: and Gentlemen :hi:



Yesterday I decided to sin.   :angelgirl:   How beautiful my wife is  :coolgirl:  and how boring sex with her is.  :timeout:

So I emailed Lana  :wackogirl: and I bit her apple.  :vomit:


Gabriel.  :lol:


Gabriel





Quote

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090222194319AAbi9uo

Why is Gabriel known as "the fallen angel"

I'm doing something like a book and I needed this information. I hear people continuously referring to Gabriel as the Messenger for God, but also as The Fallen Angel. Why is he known as the Fallen Angel? Does anyone know? If so can they please explain?

If your curious I am Catholic, I'm not anti-god or anything I'm just researching...


Quote
Gabriel is found in the book of Daniel and Luke. He is not "the fallen angel". That reference is given to Lucifer, or Satan, but I'm pretty sure that's only found in the apocryphal books and not the regular books of the bible.

Gabriel is a messenger angel. Each time he appeared it was to give someone a message.

The link below will let you read all the biblical passages he's in, and you can choose your version of the bible.
Source:
https://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=Gabriel
« Last Edit: December 26, 2014, 10:36:54 PM by The_Don »


What does UKE mean? UKE is short for www.UKEscorting.com

As soon as I crossed the front door, I met one of her neighbors, who after a quick friendly chat gave a tip to improve the quality of my risotto, thank you Lady.

This quote, from Ilana's self review, is my favourite things on here ever. Had the conversation happened, it would have gone something like this;

Imaginary Punter - "Sorry to bother you, I'm looking for number 22"
Imaginary neighbour - "Ah, it's just at the end of the corridor - is it Ilana you are going to see?"
IP - "That's right, I'm going to pay her to have  sex with me. We'll try to keep the noise down"
IN - "Oh, don't worry about that, the walls are very thick"
IP - "What's that delicious smell?"
IN - "Oh, that's my risotto - my wife's favourite."
IP - "I love risotto, but can never seem to get it creamy and not stodgy"
IN - "Ah, you need to add ladlefuls of stock at the same time massaging the starch out of the rice as that's where the stodge comes from."
IP - "Thanks so much, I will definitely try it. Also, do you know if Ilana will take a finger or two whilst I rim her?"
IN - "I should think so. She'll let me stick a digit up her arsehole whilst I fuck her from behind - she's no shrinking violet."
IP - "Excellent - enjoy your meal"




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