I am a child of the late 20th century and many moons before I first parted with some roubles for a harlot to do strange things to my secret bits I spend years obsessed with all things perverse. Within this the depiction of prostitutes were street walkers in thigh high fuck me boots, or plying their trade in a sleazy red light district – Soho, Amsterdam, Time Square, Pigalle. Eurotrash, late night Channel 4 Wankumentaries, the odd European art house movie, they all added to these fantasies and images of the flesh trade. On a more pessimistic note, at that time it never even occurred to my young mind that we would see the decline of, and dam near extinction, red light districts – its easier to get an oat milk flat white or a vegan hamburger in Pigalle, Soho and Time Square now days than it is to pay for some gash. The internet, the state of modern man, neo-puritanism, gentrification, all play their roles in dismantling the bright lights and sticky floors that informed so much of what fascinated me about this dastardly game that we play.
However, try hard enough and fly far enough and you can still find them – Nana Plaza, Bangkok Thailand, Santa Fe in Bogota, Colombia and much closer to this green and pleasant land – Bahnhofsviertel, Frankfurt. It has been well covered here, but my last visit was in 2018, the heady pre-boomer doomer days, when things were cheap and life seemed better. I was worried that it might have taken a plunge – already there were signs that the young monied cloth tote bag crowd had begun to move in – you know the story – move to an area because its “cool and edgy” only to complain incessantly until the edge is removed and price out the “cool” all while bitching about the evils of gentrification. I even looked up my previous favourite brothel there “Crazy Sexy” where I had some outrageously kinky bum fun with several sadistic dominas and it was “permentantly closed” on google. Fuck.
I got to Frankfurt late, getting through the airport was a nightmare but the train into town was nice and quick. Checked into my shitty cheap nasty hotel and was out the door into the chaos. This place is the real deal – crack heads, people smoking heroin, some top quality nutters screaming and on a positive some quality tucker at decent prices. But if I wanted a kebab or a good curry I could have stayed in London. I wanted some cheap pussy, and I was not disappointed.
I made my way down to see the rotting corpse of “crazy sexy” on Elbestraße for old time sake but I was surprised that 1) the area was still full of the old knocking shops, and 2) right next to crazy sexy there were several new walk up places that had opened – and some pretty swanky ones 43-45 Elbestraße for example has been extended and completely done up called something like “Pussy Cat”. They have even dedicated the top (5th) floor to trans girls. Nowhere is as expansive as the old crazy sexy that had much longer floors with more workers per floor, but still investment is a good sign that the area is not dying or not threatened with death in the near future.
Prices were also surprisingly static – considering how much prices have gone up in the FKK clubs – there were plenty of offers for €30-€40 for 20 minutes. I ended up taking up this offer with a Venezuelan MILF with three tongue piercings. Everything covered, no kissing but a decent bunk up for €40. I was spent and hit the sack, but the trip was far from over.
The next few days were a real punting binge. I went to my second favorite walk up – Rotes Haus, 34 Taunusstrasse. Fuck me there were some STUNNERS – honestly a few 10/10 – Romanians, Thais, a good mix. Some trannies on the top which I did not sample. But the quality, at €50 for 20 minutes was unbelievable. Everything covered, no kissing but still. I opted for skinny Elana, black hair, light eyes, nicely done fake tits – proper tits on a stick type. Excellent nosh and bosh for €50. I returned to her a few times over the coming days but I regret not trying a few of the other stunners on offer there. Saturday night was brutal – you could barely get up the stairs with the hoards of horny blokes out looking for fanny.
The only scares from the great plague of 2020 are some of the porn cinemas – Dr Müller’s Sex World on the corner of Kaiserstrasse which used to have fluffers preset and was so delightfully sleazy. However, all in all the place has not only survived but seems to have boomed in the post-COVID era and shows no signs of slowing down. I didn’t sample any strip clubs but there were loads, they were busy and some had also been done up. Yes its rough as fuck, but none of the nittys seemed bothered by anything other than getting lifted, and I got asked for cash maybe three times. I am not the biggest fan of Frankfurt and still prefer both the city of Berlin and Artemis as a FKK club BUT as red light districts go Frankfurt is top tier and worth a trip.
PS – if you fancy experiencing a German walk up brothel but don’t want to mix with the druggies or rub shoulders with crowds of other sweaty perverts I stumbled upon a couple just outside of the city centre – the imaginatively named “number one” and the next door “sexy girls” on the corner at around 9 Breite Gasse – near the “Erotik – Supermarkt” on Allerheiigenstrasse which also has a couple of great porn cinemas on site which according to local forums sometimes attracts exhibitionist couples that rent out a room adjacent to the cinema on the ground floor where you can watch them through windows.
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