With partner and Still paying for it!

[Ben_Dover]

Hi all,

Been viewing this and few other forums for ages. One thing I have found is so many experienced people have so much to offer. I am not alone.

I also feel the sense of community is very strong. Even yahoo groups with are almost dead have unique environments.

I feel this is because deep down “paying” for it is just a taboo and yet we all do one way or another.

Direct cash is an issue. My local business and business partners seem to love cash.

I want to express my opinion on something related to the topic and I would love input from you all.

My opinions are if you are single pay for it. If not then don’t. Paying while having a partner is having an affair in my opinion and it is a fact too. Being dishonest is a slimy path to further issues.

Communication is the key and I do feel all differences can be sorted out. No need to pay for sex with a partner.

Many get caught and we all do in the end one way or another. I guess question is being on a downward negative path of dishonesty is it worth it? Epically when cost is attached?

Can something ever justify dishonesty when it comes to sex?

Reason why I asked the question is I fear because of my own paying habit trusting the lady has become an issue and I don’t feel I can trust myself not to do it especially in the first few weeks of meeting someone.

I suppose this post highlights my own weakness. I would want some responses please.

[Tjkooker]

You need a shrink not ukpunting. Waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle

[Happylad]

He slipped up; he completely forgot to mention HELLFIRE and DAMNATION and THE WAGES OF SIN.

[CaptainRoscoe]

Waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle

You sound hungry.

[Cornish sub]

Hi all,

Been viewing this and few other forums for ages. One thing I have found is so many experienced people have so much to offer. I am not alone.

I also feel the sense of community is very strong. Even yahoo groups with are almost dead have unique environments.

I feel this is because deep down “paying” for it is just a taboo and yet we all do one way or another.

Direct cash is an issue. My local business and business partners seem to love cash.

I want to express my opinion on something related to the topic and I would love input from you all.

My opinions are if you are single pay for it. If not then don’t. Paying while having a partner is having an affair in my opinion and it is a fact too. Being dishonest is a slimy path to further issues.

Communication is the key and I do feel all differences can be sorted out. No need to pay for sex with a partner.

Many get caught and we all do in the end one way or another. I guess question is being on a downward negative path of dishonesty is it worth it? Epically when cost is attached?

Can something ever justify dishonesty when it comes to sex?

Reason why I asked the question is I fear because of my own paying habit trusting the lady has become an issue and I don’t feel I can trust myself not to do it especially in the first few weeks of meeting someone.

I suppose this post highlights my own weakness. I would want some responses please.

Ok, here's mine - fuck off with your preaching, you self righteous twat.

[akauya]

yada, yada, yada, yada....

And you call yourself Ben Dover   

[CaptainRoscoe]

 

Ok, here's mine - fuck off with your preaching, you self righteous twat.

  tears are literally streaming down my eyes.

[portable]

My opinions are if you are single pay for it. If not then don’t. Paying while having a partner is having an affair in my opinion and it is a fact too. Being dishonest is a slimy path to further issues.
Communication is the key and I do feel all differences can be sorted out. No need to pay for sex with a partner.

Fair enough.

Reason why I asked the question is I fear because of my own paying habit trusting the lady has become an issue and I don’t feel I can trust myself not to do it especially in the first few weeks of meeting someone.
I suppose this post highlights my own weakness. I would want some responses please.

Well they are perhaps not for you in the long term.

[yorkshire123]

I would want some responses please.

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Jeremy]

Didn't we already have a "Ben Dover"?

 

[dezzatheblue2]

Hi all,

Been viewing this and few other forums for ages. One thing I have found is so many experienced people have so much to offer. I am not alone.

I also feel the sense of community is very strong. Even yahoo groups with are almost dead have unique environments.

I feel this is because deep down “paying” for it is just a taboo and yet we all do one way or another.

Direct cash is an issue. My local business and business partners seem to love cash.

I want to express my opinion on something related to the topic and I would love input from you all.

My opinions are if you are single pay for it. If not then don’t. Paying while having a partner is having an affair in my opinion and it is a fact too. Being dishonest is a slimy path to further issues.

Communication is the key and I do feel all differences can be sorted out. No need to pay for sex with a partner.

Many get caught and we all do in the end one way or another. I guess question is being on a downward negative path of dishonesty is it worth it? Epically when cost is attached?

Can something ever justify dishonesty when it comes to sex?

Reason why I asked the question is I fear because of my own paying habit trusting the lady has become an issue and I don’t feel I can trust myself not to do it especially in the first few weeks of meeting someone.

I suppose this post highlights my own weakness. I would want some responses please.

Bawbag!

[Dani]

I take it you are not married then if you feel all differences can be sorted out by talking.  If a woman decides she no longer wants sex or she is going or has gone through the change and her libido has completely gone then you can talk all you want and it will get you nowhere.  Do you expect a wife to say "Oh ok I really hate the idea of sex but ill lay there and allow you to do it to me even though the thought of it turns me cold" No?  so how does talking change that especially if it is due to hormonal changes which as women get older can make sex painful to the point they never want to bother again.  Or talking will make her decide that although she just no longer wants to have sex she will because you talked about it?
There are many reasons why men punt and lack of sex is one of them.  No amount of talking will change that and many have tried before going down the punting route. 

You have come here to try and say that all the married men here are on a slimy path to further issues.  Why?  If they are happy punting and their wives are happy that they are being left alone then who is it hurting.  What issues will it cause.

Who are you to judge what other people do?  This is not a Christianity site nor it is a morality site.  So as you are single it is ok for you to pay for sex but if someone has a partner it is not ok?  Many would judge you for punting regardless of your marital status as they see it morally wrong so you cannot judge anyone else.  Who are you to say there is no need for a man to pay for sex if he has a partner.  Are you aware of what goes on behind closed doors in every punters home?

You are really on the wrong site to pass judgement on anyone which is exactly what you did with the statement that punting when married is being dishonest on a slimy path.

If you cant trust yourself that is your issue so perhaps judge yourself before anyone else

[punk]

The man.


Hidden Image/Members Only

[punk]

Hi all,

Been viewing this and few other forums for ages. One thing I have found is so many experienced people have so much to offer. I am not alone.

I also feel the sense of community is very strong. Even yahoo groups with are almost dead have unique environments.

I feel this is because deep down “paying” for it is just a taboo and yet we all do one way or another.

Direct cash is an issue. My local business and business partners seem to love cash.

I want to express my opinion on something related to the topic and I would love input from you all.

My opinions are if you are single pay for it. If not then don’t. Paying while having a partner is having an affair in my opinion and it is a fact too. Being dishonest is a slimy path to further issues.

Communication is the key and I do feel all differences can be sorted out. No need to pay for sex with a partner.

Many get caught and we all do in the end one way or another. I guess question is being on a downward negative path of dishonesty is it worth it? Epically when cost is attached?

Can something ever justify dishonesty when it comes to sex?

Reason why I asked the question is I fear because of my own paying habit trusting the lady has become an issue and I don’t feel I can trust myself not to do it especially in the first few weeks of meeting someone.

I suppose this post highlights my own weakness. I would want some responses please.

try this

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Dave2014]

My opinions are if you are single pay for it. If not then don’t.

My opinions are you should fuck off, and when you've fucked off, fuck off back here so I can tell you to fuck off again. Just saying'.

[Tjkooker]

Puntico... Please change your avatar. The guys face is giving me nightmares 

[Bangers and Gash]

What a complete and utter tool.

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Dave2014]

Puntico... Please change your avatar. The guys face is giving me nightmares 

Unfortunately, that was the best selfie I could manage . . . talk about 'break the internet'! 

[superchamp]

WOTW

[socks]

My opinions are if you are single pay for it. If not then don’t. Paying while having a partner is having an affair in my opinion and it is a fact too. Being dishonest is a slimy path to further issues.

Mine is that the ability to pay for NSA sex whenever I want it is fucking ace. But then I don't have a hang up about the fallacy that sex and relationships are intrinsically and inseparably linked. Or a hang up about NSA sex. Or a hang up about paying for it as I would any other service. You appear to have all three. My advice would be to try and free yourself from your self repressive moral code and go have some fun. HTH

[philipsfrog]

good thing i'm single then lol

[Clooney]

Hi all,

Been viewing this and few other forums for ages. One thing I have found is so many experienced people have so much to offer. I am not alone.

I also feel the sense of community is very strong. Even yahoo groups with are almost dead have unique environments.

I feel this is because deep down “paying” for it is just a taboo and yet we all do one way or another.

Direct cash is an issue. My local business and business partners seem to love cash.

I want to express my opinion on something related to the topic and I would love input from you all.

My opinions are if you are single pay for it. If not then don’t. Paying while having a partner is having an affair in my opinion and it is a fact too. Being dishonest is a slimy path to further issues.

Communication is the key and I do feel all differences can be sorted out. No need to pay for sex with a partner.

Many get caught and we all do in the end one way or another. I guess question is being on a downward negative path of dishonesty is it worth it? Epically when cost is attached?

Can something ever justify dishonesty when it comes to sex?

Reason why I asked the question is I fear because of my own paying habit trusting the lady has become an issue and I don’t feel I can trust myself not to do it especially in the first few weeks of meeting someone.

I suppose this post highlights my own weakness. I would want some responses please.

It's rare that I'm moved to be quite so direct, but who the fuck are you to judge anyone on here?

You are privy to the intricacies of every married punter's relationship? You know when the guy still basically loves his wife but for some reason sex ain't happening and he couldn't bear to see his family split up over an affair, so he plays a discreet one every now and then.

I tell you what, I always say that nobody knows what goes on in a relationship apart from the two people involved, an even then usually one of them doesn't.

Binary twats like you are like politicians and coppers, so go and patronise someone else.

[dezzatheblue2]

First post to try and wind people up, obviously a trolling prick, tick tick

[herelonely]

So Quesi whats-his-name post's about punting and lying when married and gets slated and within a couple of days a brand shiney new member chooses hus first post to be thus bollox - hi Quesidella 

[madeinwales56]

As they say in Norfolk "thas ulot'r old wordy skwit"

[dboy74]

Fuckin' tool!!

[Matium]

My opinions are if you are single pay for it. If not then don’t. Paying while having a partner is having an affair in my opinion and it is a fact too. Being dishonest is a slimy path to further issues.

Communication is the key and I do feel all differences can be sorted out. No need to pay for sex with a partner.

Many get caught and we all do in the end one way or another. I guess question is being on a downward negative path of dishonesty is it worth it? Epically when cost is attached?

Weak writing style.

"slimy path", "negative path of dishonesty".

Saying your speech out aloud, I don't "hear" a man but rather a woman.

And this line:

"Paying while having a partner is having an affair in my opinion."

is a woman's line.

You clearly don't understand marriage from a man's point of view - the sheer frustration of being in a marriage where the wife has lost all interest in Sex.

Nor do you understand that the vast majority of the men here are married men who no longer bother their wives for sex and even though they seek out prostitutes, they would never dream of leaving their wives.

There's no point a woman pretending to be a man because you'll be caught out by writing style alone.

[Boundless]

Puntico... Please change your avatar. The guys face is giving me nightmares 

At first I thought Jeremy Paxman had let himself go since leaving Newsnight!

[Boundless]

So Quesi whats-his-name post's about punting and lying when married and gets slated and within a couple of days a brand shiney new member chooses hus first post to be thus bollox - hi Quesidella 

I'm not the only one that's got deja vu then!

[herelonely]

Weak writing style.

"slimy path", "negative path of dishonesty".

Saying your speech out aloud, I don't "hear" a man but rather a woman.

And this line:

"Paying while having a partner is having an affair in my opinion."

is a woman's line.

You clearly don't understand marriage from a man's point of view - the sheer frustration of being in a marriage where the wife has lost all interest in Sex.

Nor do you understand that the vast majority of the men here are married men who no longer bother their wives for sex and even though they seek out prostitutes, they would never dream of leaving their wives.

There's no point a woman pretending to be a man because you'll be caught out by writing style alone.

Op may be on a somewhat slippery path to wotw

[vt]

Weak writing style.

"slimy path", "negative path of dishonesty".

Saying your speech out aloud, I don't "hear" a man but rather a woman.

And this line:

"Paying while having a partner is having an affair in my opinion."

is a woman's line.

You clearly don't understand marriage from a man's point of view - the sheer frustration of being in a marriage where the wife has lost all interest in Sex.

Nor do you understand that the vast majority of the men here are married men who no longer bother their wives for sex and even though they seek out prostitutes, they would never dream of leaving their wives.

There's no point a woman pretending to be a man because you'll be caught out by writing style alone.

Yep I have the OP down as a woman grappling with the idea that a man's libido doesn't lay down and die just because his wife's may have! Direct from Mumsnet this one!

[StevenS]

I think Ben Dover and quesadilla might be the same person

[sweet-t]

Good grief...  Pulled me eyes out their sockets.  Before I got to the end of your tedious and pointless post.

What was the actual point of the actual post again?

[RedKettle]

I think Ben Dover and quesadilla might be the same person

Much as I had my issues with what Quesadilla wrote I don't think this is him.  It is not well enough written for him and frankly why would he hide, he was perfectly prepared to fight his case - I did not agree with anything he said but his writing was better than this twat.

Just some troll who saw how heated we got on that thread and decided it was worth poking about again.

[CBPaul]

Oh good, another preacher. OK, I will give up punting and take a vow of celibacy - just like my wife (the vow of celibacy that is, not punting).

Puntico - I have scrolled to bottom of page 2 and can still see your avatar    Do you find that the with discretion bit of French kissing is enforced much ?

[socks]

As they say in Norfolk "thas ulot'r old wordy skwit"

come come boyo, we all know it's spelt squit  and to correct the rest "thass a lart o rold werdy"

[Neal69]

come come boyo, we all know it's spelt squit  and to correct the rest "thass a lart o rold werdy

You can take the boy out of the valleys but you cant .....

I'll get me cut.

 cos it moight be a bit taters on the but.

Oh yeah and deffo WOTW +1 for OP

[Dave2014]

Puntico - I have scrolled to bottom of page 2 and can still see your avatar    Do you find that the with discretion bit of French kissing is enforced much ?

How did you guess?? 

[dieseldriver]

And you call yourself Ben Dover   

There is a Ben Dover on a spanking site ( makes sense ) . Could this be the same guy? And most into spanking have to pay a pro dom or pro sub to get what they like ( us men that is, ladies seeking a spanking get it free ) So could this be why he is paying for it?

[Ben_Dover]

1. i am not judging anyone.
2. simple question was raised about honesty.

3. i just want to know for my future from expereinced people will being honest with a decent women be diffcult as now i have paid for it.

very simple. either way i wish to thank all of you.

[dboy74]

3. i just want to know for my future from expereinced people will being honest with a decent women be diffcult as now i have paid for it.

Try it and find out. When you know please don't bother coming back to tell us!

[CBPaul]

How did you guess?? 

Just a guess really.

Oh, and a couple of Romanian prossies who your avatar reminds me of.
Fortunately they  made it clear kissing wasn't offered anyway, otherwise I would have used my powers of discretion 

[madeinwales56]

come come boyo, we all know it's spelt squit  and to correct the rest "thass a lart o rold werdy"

Thank you for the correction. You know what I meant though, didn't you?!

[socks]

Thank you for the correction. You know what I meant though, didn't you?!

yeah i was just being a bellend 

[Quesadilla]

To each their own.
I punted before I met my wife, and was open with her about the fact that I'd punted - despite having had two girlfriends before who decided that made me a "bad person" although they couldn't quite explain why.
I promised my wife I would never punt while we were married and did not, even when the sex became linked to the phases of the moon.
We did have a number of other issues, did go to relationship counselling, and in the end I just decided that it couldn't be fixed so moved on.
Very happy to now have the possibility to punt guilt free, in no rush to get into a "civvy relationship" again, and if I do I will be honest about not only having punted but that I might also consider punting if the sex dries up at home.  That likely means I will remain single and punt my days out, and so be it. Would rather be up front than deceive someone that close to me - but that's just me.

[StevenS]

Yawn

[JohnEv]

Just wait until your wife turns into the vindictive vile dragon that many do before you start spouting ideals, if she can't be bothered holding her tongue then she isn't being faithful to the relationship and one of the inevitable consequences will happen.

[LL]

To each their own.
Would rather be up front than deceive someone that close to me - but that's just me.

We all had you figured out from the other thread on this topic. Filled with guilt and regret of your own actions you come here to judge and criticise others, who, in your mind are behaving much worse than you. That helps you a bit - more than therapy did anyway.

[jackdaw]

To each their own.
I punted before I met my wife, and was open with her about the fact that I'd punted - despite having had two girlfriends before who decided that made me a "bad person" although they couldn't quite explain why.
I promised my wife I would never punt while we were married and did not, even when the sex became linked to the phases of the moon.
We did have a number of other issues, did go to relationship counselling, and in the end I just decided that it couldn't be fixed so moved on.
Very happy to now have the possibility to punt guilt free, in no rush to get into a "civvy relationship" again, and if I do I will be honest about not only having punted but that I might also consider punting if the sex dries up at home.  That likely means I will remain single and punt my days out, and so be it. Would rather be up front than deceive someone that close to me - but that's just me.

But try a situation that seems similar... but with a few "subtle" differences.

Imagine that you've not "got a few other issues", that apart from sex the overall partnership works really well. Imagine you've got a couple of young kids that you love dearly.

Would you still have left wife? Or would you have gone without really pleasurable sex for 10 or 15 years?

You might have done... but if you're really confident of what you'd do in that situation without living through it, then I believe you're over-confident.

You have a very, very specific definition of the term "happy marriage"... it includes, for example, absolute trust. Others believe if both the man and woman are happy in the partnership that is a happy marriage. For me, those "others" are more sensible and pragmatic.

[gorge]

Yawn

+1