My story is, I'm happily married, have been for 14 years. I love my wife, she's my best friend. But, she's also not the best of health, she's got mild M.E., which makes life hard at times.
I punt coz I have a high sex drive. In the early days of marriage, sex was great, getting all the time, but now, it's very few and far between, purely coz of a genuine health reason. By punting, I get to satisfy my sexual needs and fantasies, which I can't anymore from my OH.
I don't know if she knows I do it, on some level, I think she does, but we never talk about it. She might be upset, but at the same time, she understands me and my needs. I keep it quiet, she's happy, I'm happy. It works for us.