External Link/Members Only£100 for 30 mins.
Found myself in Stratford with some spare time and, despite the couple of negative reviews on here, this was my personal irresistible nemesis- a brunette with massive natural tits. She definitely fits the bill. What could possibly go wrong?
Comms - All by text. Mostly hard work. This was the first alarm bell. All comms seemed light on detail and often raised more questions than they answered.
Venue - A hotel right on Stratford's ring road (if you can call it that?) in the centre of the town. In the day, the main door right on the road opens automatically, but without a keycard, you're then stuck in a stairwell.
The girl - After a lengthy wait on the stairwell because she went to the wrong set of stairs to let me in, when she eventually did so, she seemed friendly enough as she lead me to the room. The wait on the stairwell and general absent-minded approach should have been two more alarm bells. Facially, middle of the road. Body average, but those tits.........superb.
The Service - Annnnnd here's where it goes really wrong. In her defence, i did forget to hand over the paperwork immediately and she had to ask for it which i don't think she was overly impressed with - fair enough - potentially because she is simply obsessed with money. I've since realised that my forgetfulness was down to two reasons - firstly i was excited by those tits and was too busy undressing myself but secondly, because i was bombarded with a life story from the minute we entered the room. Here's a brief rundown:-
She was, definitely, happy to talk about money.
She was, allegedly, a former investment banker.
She was, allegedly, a former millionairess.
She was, definitely, happy to talk about money.
She was, allegedly, divorced having lost everything in the split, including £1.15m.
She was, allegedly, having a terrible time with coldsores so couldn't kiss or do OWO. Fair enough. It also prevented OW for reasons unknown.
She was, allegedly, forgetful that day and had forgotten her bag of toys and play things.
She was, definitely, happy to talk about money.
She was, allegedly, beaten up by a man, can no longer feel some of her face as a result and the hospital visit that followed this battering was the reason she got divorced.
She was, allegedly, stuck in this punting game and unable to get out.
She was, definitely, happy to talk about money.
She was, allegedly, in need of money.
She was, definitely, begging for someone to buy her a car.
She was, definitely, too interested in my business and personal finances.
She was, definitely, too interested in offering herself to me on a regular basis in exchange for regular payment.
Did i mention she liked talking about money?
You get the point.
After we'd finished what felt like some sort of contract of employment negotiation and life history lesson, there was something resembling a hand job. Somehow, probably those tits, i managed to get hard and get a condom on. I'm not massive down there, but the condom was so small, it would barely stay on. Still she talked about money and how hard done by she was. We somehow achieved penetration in missionary, albeit with her using her legs to limit the depth of said penetration.
By now, through fear of the condom coming off and having to listen to the constant stream of nonsense coming out of her mouth, the only thing not hard at this point was me.
"do you not like condoms?" she asked. I thought here we go, bareback offer incoming for the extra money but it, thankfully, never did. At this point, i took condom off and had given up. She offered a hand job which would have finished me off had she not continued to talk about money whilst attempting to pull me off.
I gave up on that, too. Asked if i could wank myself off and finish on her tits. She wanted extra money for that.
That was cue to just get dressed and leave and write it off as a terrible punt.
Summary - I'm not naive enough to think these girls aren't here for the money. It is the only reason any of us go to work, after all. But the constant talk of money, alleged hardship and a life story is not conducive for an environment within which to provide a good service. The logic that if you provide a good service, you might get more business and therefore more money seems to have escaped her. Odd, really. I thought a former millionare investment banker would be more switched on.
No spark. No humour. No fun. No energy. Just constant moaning.
Easily the worst punt i've ever had.
Would i return? No. Not even if somebody paid me to go.
